Sunday, May 29, 2005

Some Friendships never Die

It started Friday not long after I got to work... I was sitting at the computer, checking for spyware with one of the programs I use. I thought "I'll call Dan while that's scanning." Even went as far as getting up and walking halfway towards the phone.

Dan died Dec 15, 2002. I froze in place, fighting the sense of loss that is still so raw at times. He was my dear friend. We talked often and there were no secrets between us. He knew my bad times, I knew his. We shared a lot in all the years we knew each other. It was a friendship that was part attraction, but we knew that if we moved to 'that' level, it would be hard to go back if things didn't work out. I've always been glad we never did.

Then it happened again yesterday, as I got ready to go out. Found myself at the phone. The urge to call so strong. I had to fight it again. For a while I was draped in melancholoy, knowing I couldn't call.

And this evening... I got up from a short nap, thinking about Dan. Even as I write I am overwhelmed with a sadness that is indescribable. I miss him.

He once told me that "Life can be a hard road. It is good to have friends."

It's a motto that I live by. I will say this... our friendship was so strong that the pull of it still has me picking up the phone to call him today.

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