Friday, December 18, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Even though I don't have time to sit and write, I am gonna do it anyway. Maybe after the New Year, I'll get back to writing. I know I've said it before but I can feel words developing in my mind and an urge to sit and write is stirring a little.

It's been a difficult year. May be 2010 will be brighter. I know some major changes will be made and have already started...

Granny is now in a nursing home that has a special Alzheimer's unit. The Friday after T-day, she got out of her house at 12:30 am and wasn't found until 8:30 am. Her core temp was 91 and she was in intensive care for a few days. Luckily she survived. It was cold but not below freezing all that night. The irony of it all was that she had ventured across the road over towards where some construction had been going on. She fell behind some heavy brush and couldn't get up. It's amazing she lived, especially since she was only wearing a thin nightie, no shoes or socks.

But luckily for us she is in good hands now and has no major damage done to her body due to the hyperthermia she sufferred. Mom was told that Granny has the vitals of a teenager. You know...God does take care of his own. Granny was a very religious lady all of her life and God won't forget that.

Sam's better and was working yesterday. I didn't have time to call and check on him. Nor have I had time to do anything fun with my chick friends. We may have dinner one night this week to share a drink and to laugh together one last time before the New Year.

My wish for all is to be happy and to embrace those around you whom you love. Life is so short and can change in a heartbeat.

Much Love and Happy Holidays.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Where did October get too?

Ya know...I think about writing but it doesn't get past the thought very often of late. I sneak in and read blogs when I can, which isn't very often of late.

So much seems to have happened since last fall that has changed me so much in many least with my online life. I spend more time with friends and family. When I do log on it's usually Facebook that I hit, hiding out doing the games and reading walls.

My words feel as if they aren't mine when I try to write, except the Children's Novel I'm doing for But that's "Child Play."

My second Mother, Mary died on my birthday (Oct. 23). She had a heart attack. She went fast and with no pain. I feel as if another piece of me is gone. I could tell her anything and she would give me advise without preaching, treating me as an equal. On more than one occasion, she told me that I was the daughter she never had. Last night I had a dream that she called me. We spent a few minutes talking about some books I lent her (which are still at her house), and then I remembered she was dead. I said, "Mary, I was told that you died." She said, "Who told you that load of Shit?" I said, "Your son and his wife." Silence answered and I kept saying into the silence,"Mary are you there?" Then I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. It seemed so real.

A few weeks ago my Great Uncle Buddy died from old age. He spent the last few weeks of his life in a nursing home and was the happiest we've seen him in years. I miss his gruffness. And still look over at his house from my backyard, thinking he's there.

In October, we almost lost the business due to banking mistakes Dad made. But we managed to pull out of the crisis. I am not sure if I'll be here in March. I know I've said it before but Dad refuses to turn things over to me and I am tired of drifting along with him, stifled by the shell I've outgrown.

Sam's health is not good. He has kidney disease due to his diabetes and was doing home dialysis until he had a heart attack last week. It's pretty bad but I keep praying that he'll get thru this. I'm afraid for him, especially after knowing what Thomas went thru.

Sorry...didn't mean to make this post so melancholoy. Things aren't as bad as they could be.

On to brighter things... I'm selling Avon part-time. My Grandmother Leggett would be proud. She sold it for over 26 years. So far I am doing okay with it. I don't plan on making a career out of it, and the discounts I get make the perks worth it.

Al and I are doing fantastic. He's not Thomas. And I know that he will never be like Thomas, but he's doing better and making an effort to be loving and less demanding on my time. He's supportive and talks strongly of a future together. Yes, he drives me nuts but he's my Al and I love in because of the nuts.

The nephews are great. William is adjusting to private school. He's taller than I am. I'll have to remember to upload the Halloween pictues. Ben is struggling with 3rd grade. I really believe he would profit if he were held back a year. He's so immature for his age and is too bright a child to have poor grades.

I spoke with my friend Keith--the one who has Lou Gerigh's disease yesterday. He never complains and is always so uplifting. I shouldn't be sad about the things I can't change and embrace what I do have. Love, Health and the ability to do anything I want.

Friday, September 25, 2009


I thought I would have thoughts to blog but didn't...and so almost another month goes by without a post.

But I did manage to squeeze out a's about Thomas. Labor day weekend was the beginning of our private 'reunion.' As you can guess, I have been feeling a bit wistful and sad these last few weeks. Although I have gotten good at hiding it. Time may heal wounds but it doesn't lessen the memories. Thank God ours were good ones.

September Sees

September sees the flowing memories
of you in my mind's eye,
the frothy churning of desire
that once flooded the gates of our lives.

You were my rare shooting star
blinding me with exotic wonderment.
We were caught center stage,
blissfully ignorant of the world around us.

Every stolen moment, a treasure unearthed;
Every shared secret, a precious gift of gold.
Embraces were our rubies and diamonds
until the day the moon aligned with Venus.

There is no playground of the Gods
lurking on the fringe of tomorrow,
nor is there a bright yellow sun
shining on the promise of today.

All we have are crimson yesterdays,
so brilliant that they put the waning stars
out of their bittersweet misery,
while branding images into my mournful soul.

Monday, August 31, 2009

I actually feel like blogging!

A very urgent feeling overcame me just now... Blog! So I am. Although I have a gob of work to do.

Been fighting a respiratory bug. These things always start out as head congestion and end up in my chest--I'm running on 70%. I blame it on the Crepe Myrtles. It seems I get something every year when they bloom.

Things have been going ok. The nephews are back in school. So far William loves the Christian School. Ben has a good teachter this year--one of William's old ones. He will have to deal with EOGs this year.

He came up with a great excuse not to get into the shower on Friday night... he said, "But it smells like BUTT in there."

This coming Saturday will be fun. Michele is hosting another Murder Mystery party..this one is called "Trailer Trash Tragedy." I play the 'mother hen' of the trailer park-Fanny Mason. She snoops and gossips. Oh what fun. Don't think I mentioned the last one.. it was in July. It was called Murder in Margaritaville. Set in the 80's at a bar in the Keyes. We had so much fun. Michele has pictures and I'll try to get them this weekend. Al even participated. He placed a gambler "Otto Getmore" and I played the hippie/artist "Sunny Daze"--a nickname that I won't live down for a long time. When we got there, everyone was in character and that's how we introduced ourselves. After the mystery was over, we went around and re-introduced ourselves. If you've never done one of these and get the chance, I say do it.

We've got some major rain today. I hope all my readers are doing great. Stay safe.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Current pictures

I can speak Spanish: "Margarita"

Just me...

My Favorite one.

Body Parts

There are ten human body parts that are only three letters long: eye, hip, arm,
leg, ear, toe, jaw, rib, lip, gum.

Wonder why Ass isn't listed?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Hot time in the City

Boy has time flew by! I can't believe I let so many weeks, days, hours and minutes past without writing. I really thought that once the reunion was over I would have more time to write. Well, in ways I did have more time but in other ways I didn't. My work load for the last few months has been very strenuous. A good thing in this age of digital photography! I'm restoring a lot of photos and the good part of it is that most of the new clients are referrals. We've slacked off in portrait photo sessions and weddings but Dad's been doing a lot of commercial work. I guess it all works out so that we don't go under, like so many other professional photographers. I think we are one of about 3 with studios that are open during business hours.

Al and I are doing so much better since the intimacy returned. I really believe that's one of the reasons couples don't make it...without intimacy there is no emotional bonding and that's an important key to happiness. Sure, Al and I still have problems but they are easier to work through knowing that we are on the same path again. I think I have Thomas to thank for that... I don't take Al for granted any more and I think he does the same with me. We express affection and tell each other that we appreciate what the other does and is!

Yes, I miss Thomas. So very much. I really don't think I will ever come across another person who has those wonderful qualities that he had. He came back into my life on Labor Day weekend and I know that this fall will be hard for me... I'll feel sad a lot but I'm hopeful that the good memories I have will help me through this. I can still see him standing on his porch, leaning over the rail of his deck as I opened my truck door and said "Talk to you in a little while." And his reply, "I can only hope."

As did I!

The nephews are doing great. William is attending a private Christian school. It will be tight for my sister but it's the best for him. There was no way he could have dealt with the middle school and it's mix of personalities, especially the 'gangs.' So far William is doing great. He's matured a lot this summer and is taller than I am. I will have to find some photos and post them. Ben will start school next week and is spending the day with me at work. He's on the old PC as I type, playing a baseball game and give me momently reports. He'll be in the 3rd grade..a tough one with the first EOG testing. We've been concerned with his weight...he's dropped from 63 lbs to 57 lbs. We think it has to do with Concerta...the ADHD drug he's taking. He told me this morning that he's never hungry.

We had some fun adventures this summer. I took them with me on a trip to Ocean Isle Beach NC to see my old roomie, Jeri. They had a blast in the ocean and then in the pool. William was a social butterfly. He had me speechless a few times with his comments to Jeri and others. He struck up conversations and made all of us laugh. When the boys were in the pool, there were a few other kids in there with them. They had a water gun fight and then tossed a ball to each other. The ball sank to the bottom once and William said to a boy, "Hey Kid, can you get that ball for me? I can't breathe under water like you can!" Jeri and I laughed our butts off.

Saw the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It reminded me of the third installment... there were things they could have kept the fight in the 'swamp' which didn't take place in the book and added the huge battle at the end of the book. But I must confess that I liked the way they dealt with Dumbledore's death. I hope that they do justice to the last book with will be interesting to see what they take out and what they add.

The one movie I saw that I thought rocked was the Star Trek movie. What a genius writer... the plot was excellent and they can make new movies without worrying about the past ones. I really like the guy who played McKoy! He nailed his personality. I truly hope that there will be more movies.

Also saw "Mama Mia!" this week on HBO On-demand. It was really cute. The music rocked. I love ABBA...and I probably will grab the DVD once the price goes down...or when it appears in those $5 DVD bins at Walmart. HAHA.

Granny is hanging in there. She's in diapers now because she forgets to use the bathroom. She can't carry on a conversation...but I noticed that at times she can follow a conversation if there isn't a lot of people participating. She doesn't say mine or Mom's name but we believe she knows who we are. Please keep her in your prayers.

Still in touch with some of my classmates. Not all have kept up their part of the 'deal' but I find time to call them even if they promise to call me or 'get-together soon.' Sherry Aka Shook-em and I plan to attend a concert at UNC-P...Davy Jones (and a million women my age or older scream!)

Writing...I believe this is the most I've written in ages. I think I am slowly returning to it..once I get bored with the apps on I do love those games.

But... I confess is good to write. I am amazed with how fast words are flying off the keyboard and forming sentences. Now..if only I can find my poetry voice. Maybe I should start with "Sher-ku."

A few words
sentences flowing...
dust off muse

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Reunion photos

The DVD that Rocks!

Me (on the left) with my BBF's Donna and Shookem

Me with my rum and coke ice (yep.. I sucked it down) This is towards the end of the night.

Me and Bryan, my buddy. We were grade school sweethearts. He's probably the funniest guy I know who doesn't mean to be funny.

Our whole group. That's Keith in the wheelchair. He's the one who has Lou Gerigh's disease.

I have more pictures but you wouldn't know any of the people. I posted the ones that mean the most to me...or rather the ones that mean so much that I can share with ya.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

My Class Reunion

ROCKED! It was the best ever... everyone behaved and had a blast. I've gotten calls from almost everyone telling me how much fun they had and would I please do another one.

So...I said yes.. ok I'm nuts but I figured since I've got the worse part over (finding people), it shouldn't be so hard. We're shooting for April 2011. Our 30th reunion!

I've got plenty of time to work on it and now I can get back to being me...and writing, laughing and enjoying my life.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A Poem (since I have no time to blog)

Stealing Wine

There is sin
in the slow gin
of your kiss

the sultry heart
of my world

How can Heaven
move Earth
while you're here?

Stealing the wine
of my soul


Thursday, May 21, 2009

9 More Days

So far I've gotten through our prom nights, my family reunion and the nephews' field trips...all that's left is the class reunion.

9 more days. May 30th!

Then I hope my life returns back to me to do as I feel like doing.

It's been a stressful six months... and I am so ready to find me again.

The reunion plans are falling into place. I've got 50 paid people (30 class/20 dates)...maybe a few more to add on Tues. Know what's ironic? Bon my ex-fair-weather friend hasn't paid her money. Everyone knows she's the one who pushed this reunion and she fell through the cracks in the planning of it and now she's gonna pretend to be a victim of 'high school antics' and not come to the reunion.

To be honest I hope she doesn't. She's been nothing but a headache these last few months. Changing things said to suit her purpose, telling half-truths and draining energy of all around her. I had a feeling we would end up like non-friends. But I'm ok with it. I was more of a friend to her than she was to me. And my life will be less stressful with her out of the picture.

May 30 will be 6 months since I last spoke to Thomas. I still miss him so much.

But anyways...thought I would post and let my readers know I am alive. If I have any readers left and I promise to catch up on email to Bob, Steve, J and others. Sorry about the silence. But my engery focus has been elsewhere.

Friday, May 08, 2009

from Easte

Yep...that's Al with the fishing rod. ANd the last photo is of Al, trying to show the boys where an Easter Egg that they kept walking by and I kept pointing out.

more zoo pix

zoo pix

Here and here again

I am ashamed I haven't blogged in ages. I'm sure my readers have moved on to greener blog pastures. I'm alone tonight and figured I would drop by with some news, yet I hardly know where to start.

Today was a wonderful day. I was lucky to find myself on a field trip to the Riverbanks zoo with Ben's 2nd grade class. If you recall I went with William's class two years ago. William came along on this one just like Ben tagged along on his trip. This time William did great...he controlled his boredom and we were able to really enjoy the exhibits.

The funniest part of the whole trip was when we went into one section that had little monkeys in it... the Spider Monkeys were doing a porn flick and I noticed a lady walking by with her hands covering her small child's eyes. Ben noticed her actions and turned to me to say ""Aunt Sherrie, doesn't she like it when monkeys wrestle?"

Oh boy... I had to contain a laugh that wanted to spring out loud and clear. Kids say funny things. We had so much fun. Ben loves Animals as much as I do. The penquins were the coolest...and the brown bear and the sea lion and the birds and the flamingo and the giraffe...ok...the whole zoo was cool.

About a week ago I took up the carpet in my bedroom and am now using the original hard wood flooring. I can tell a difference with my allegeries. I don't wake up all congested. I changed the room about and feel a bit of a revival of spirit. My class reunion planning has been so stressful. It's May 30 and people are just now responding even though I asked for money and RSVP's to be turned in by April 15. I've had to call, beg and finally get a bit angry with the procrastinators. When it's all over, I know I'll feel a bit's consumed me since August.

I'm still missing Teez but am better about it. The hardest part is planning the reunion without him. He wanted so badly not to be on the memory table. Instead of a program booklet, I'm doing an old-fashioned school newspaper. He was the editor of it our senior year and did drawings for it. I scanned them and will use them in his honor. I think he would love this...he so wanted to be a part of the planning and all. He was a great listener and encourager. I miss that.

Some days I feel as if I'll never return to being Shere..Sherrie...Fairy..Carnie...maybe I won't ever truly be who I once was. All I can hope for is that the side of me he brought out so vividly will find a way to return...and be that bright starlight he so loved.

Things with Al are status quo. Hopefully I'll find time to get back here and blog soon.

I miss all of you.


Wednesday, April 08, 2009


Tonight was the first time I've spent hours reading in total silence in a long time. I had things to do; chores, laundry, etc but it is really cold tonight. So I grabbed a blanket and crawled into my semi-new recliner and read until 11 pm! No interruptions. I feel a bit refreshed and have an urge to I think I'll log off this darn PC and grab a pen/paper...see if anything blog worthy pops out.

My Heels

I must say I am pleased with my heels. They really are the best and they've worked hard to get there. Take a bow guys, you deserve it.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Ketchup and...mustard

So much to blog about...where to start is a good question!

1) The Tarheels! I was sort of disappointed that they won so easily against 'Nova. I wanted a heated that would have Al on his toes! But it didn't work out that way. So tonight's the night... I've got my toes polished with Carolina Blue nail polish...Let's do it, guys. Don't let Mamma Sherrie down.

2)Al is still fighting a respiratory illness. He drove me crazy last weekend. Wouldn't go to the doctor to get meds. He coughed so violently that I thought his lungs would explode. Couldn't eat. I made chicken soup. Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday, I beg him to go to Urgent care to get cough meds and antibioditcs...but no, he kept saying he was getting better. When I left Monday morning, I told him he should get dressed and go on... he said No... Then at around 1 pm, he calls and tells me he gives up...that he wanted to go to Urgent care and would I take him. I was at work...covered to my ears in photos. I just couldn't drop everything and drive 40 mins to his place. So I told him I couldn't get there until 6:30. That he needed to be ready to go because they stop taking patients at 7. Was he ready? Hell no! He was primping in the bathroom and then at 10 til 7 he calls the Urgent care place and hands me the phone. They confirmed what I thought...they weren't taking any more patients. So ... I wasted a trip up there. Now ... what really made me irritated was that he drove over to his barber and got a haircut...why didn't he go on to the Urgent care then!! But he did go the next morning and got what he needed.

3) Went on a field trip with William's grade this past Friday. It was to the Marbles Kids Museum and the Imax Theatre in Raleigh. Really cool! The Marbles Museum is sort of like a huge exploration station thing. Lots of activities for the kids to do. They had a Power Food presentation and I cracked up at William, his best friend Dylan and another boy named Brandon trying to make a meal for Lance Armstrong. I should write Lance and tell him what they planned to feed him: A sandwich with lettuce, tomato and celery. Some slices of turkey on the side and water. I kept telling them that he needed fruit and grains and milk. Finally his teacher came over and told them the same thing...and they listened to her.

After that they played hockey (there was a small rink set up and the kids could put on jerseys and wack pucks. William jumped right in...something I've never seen him do. Then he and his two guys went to the pirate ship and spent almost an hour playing there with a bunch of little tykes of around 5 years. I laughed at them because Dylan was the top pirate. He stood up in the Crow's nest, yelling out instructions "Swab the deck" "sword fight"..."sweep the deck".."Hoist the anchor." And all the kids listened to him. They were working like a well-oiled machine. One mother of one of the 5-yr-old kids said, "I can't believe my son is sweeping." I suggested she turn his bedroom into a pirate ship and then the cleaning worries would be over.

Later we ventured to another area called "World Trek"... this exhibit covered the Artic, Rio Del Janero, Moraccoo and Berlin. There was an igloo section where the kids could make igloos and hide in them with these big stuffed huskies. The Rio Del Janero (spelling?) had a big set of drums and a carnival mask making section. There was a huge TV screen that showed a segment the largest parade on the earth--called Carnaval. It was really cool. Loud but cool. No one seemed interested in the Moroccian Street fair section with an outdoor market. And even one noticed the section of the Berlin Wall.

I did. I touched it and was so humbled that I felt like crying. To think that so many died trying to get over it to Freedom, something we all take for granted. Below is a picture I took of it. Strange that I got it because the camera would not take any pictures of the hockey session or of the pirate ship activity...yet it took this picture....and then nothing else.

After a few hours at the Marbles museum, we ventured over to the Imax theatre. If you've ever been to one, you know how cool it is. If're missing out. We saw a movie on a Coral Reef outside of Australia. At an Imax theatre, you wear 3-D glasses and the images come right up to your face. The underwater scenes were very realistic. You could see debris floating in the water. Fish and other thingies like sea snakes, jelly fish, sharks and sea lions came right up to your face. I didn't care for the snakes..they were eerie but I did fall in love with the Sea Dragons--they are similiar to sea horses. It was really cool. Jim Carrey narrated it.

4) On the way to Raleigh, we drove up I-40...Thomas lived right off that highway and when we passed the exit, I felt a sadness so sharp I thought I would lose my breath. But I didn't. It was too much for me though. But I didn't dwell on it because my sister is a horrible driver and I spent a lot of time holdin' my breath and praying. On the way back I had her drive the 401's a little longer drive but my sanity was to be honest, I couldn't take driving by Teez's exit. I think that's what set off one of the worst weekends I've had since he died. I was on the edge of tears most of the time...and Sunday I spent a lot of time wiping tears away. I felt his loss so strongly that I thought I would break into two pieces.

I'm better today. Don't know why...but I am. Maybe I'm learning to tolerate the loss.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

UNC Tarheels...


Sorry J...but they do!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Life's been hectic

I have so much to write about ....yet have had little time to do so. Granny spent 10 days with me and work has been I spend too much time of facebook and myspace...

Part of me still can't seem to find my voice...the one that you guys love to read. I miss Teez so much... one would think I would be over it...after all we were only together for 3 months but...those months seem a lifetime to me now...

I'm at Al's for the weekend. I came up early because he's sick with a respiratory bug. We will probably be at the urgent care tomorrow because he's not breathing all that great...and refuses to hit the ER tonight. I'm sure I'll find time to sit down and write...catch up with my thoughts.

At least that's my plan...

I confess I miss writing.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


One day...

I will win the lottery a third world country, thus proclaiming myself Queen and then I won't have to put up with arrogant egos at work!

Cuz then I'll be an arrogant ego !

Monday, March 09, 2009

Springy eyes are itchy and irritated...and I'm a bit sneezy.

Hello Spring time... or rather hello false Spring...We all know it's gonna get cold again, so why pretend Spring's here to stay?

Spent some time on Saturday at the Rumba on the Lumber--blues & chili festival. Met my sister and the nephews. We walked around. The boys did a few of the activities for kids and I had a delicious hot dog all the way with sauteed onions, pickle radish and chili. Yumm... it wasn't one of those cheap red dogs either. Didn't hear any Blues, although the nephews sang some when their Mom made them leave because she had to mop the kitchen floor.

Got to Al's around 4 and headed over to the IGA to get some beer and other stuff. Man it was so packed in there. I got some Amber Bock's by Michelob. For the last couple of weekends, I've been drinking either Slippery Dicks or Duplin Wine, mainly the Carolina when I drank my first beer of the day on Saturday..boy it was almost an awful taste. I was a bit irritated with my taste buds because it was such great beer drinking weather.

Al was off Sunday. We goofed around most of the day. I wore this really large over-sized men's shirt that comes down mid-thigh and sat on the steps with a beer. Al kept freakin' out about it. Like I care if the neighbor's think I don't have any pants on. Hell, I don't live there and why can't they get some cheap thrills on a lovely warm Sunday?

Close to midnight, Al informs me that we need to run to Walmart. Since I was parked behind him, we decided to drive my truck...and there was no one there. Now I know how the shelves get stocked... they do it at midnight. And here I thought little dwarves did it ...right under our noses! We had to go through mazes of boxes. Then Al decides to be silly by pretending to be a 'wig' know...white guys trying to be cool gangsta dudes: wearing their baseball caps crooked, bagging pants down past their cracks and walk around saying "Know what I'm sayin'..."... except his tee shirt was too short, so when he pulled his pants down to expose ass crack there was nothing to hide it. He's pushing the cart, sayin' "Know what I'm saying" and doing that swag walk that wigs do.
I had to laugh for a moment, then remind him about getting worried about what the neighbors thought of my long shirt and me sitting on the steps. That at least I wasn't exposing my ass to hidden cameras in Wally World.

The weekend was pretty good though... A few times I thought of Thomas and felt sad. I wish I could talk to him. Hear what he thinks on stuff I have to say...stuff that's in my heart. Stuff I toss out here...

Oh well...

At least it's sunny today...nice and warm...birds singing...flowering trees continues in spite of death. Hopes and dreams live on, even if only in the sky at sunsets or in the glow of the moon.

Enjoy this day... embrace it. I promise that it will embrace you back.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Face Book

Thought I would share this here. I am currently enjoying Facebook. Didn't think I ever would. Nancy Lorraine tagged me in this challenge. It's called ...

My Album Cover

What would your own album look like if you were in a band? Follow the directions below and find out...

Here are the rules:

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
or click
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations"
or click
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it to FB with this text in the "caption" or "comment" and TAG the friends you want to join in.

Joke Book

Joke book
Category: Life
Ever felt like your life can be taken from the pages of a joke book?
Yeah...well, me neither.

William is in a joke telling stage. Except he makes them up. Here's a sample:

Why doesn't a house move?
It hasn't been born yet.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get Chinese take-out.

So my next task is to purchase him a joke book so he won't get that 'Huh?' look from his classmates.

I had a tasteless joke book during college and tried to live by it. Hmmm maybe that's why my love life was such a bad running joke!

Monday, March 02, 2009

March is here

Brrrr it's cold in the studio today. I'm sipping some yummy hot coffee... and trying to figure out a way to work and sleep at the same time. I ended up at Al's Friday night, He called Thurs evening, asking me to drive up and take care of him. His left foot was swollen and hurting. He didn't know if it was tendonities or an old stress fracture that he had awoken somehow. I couldn't. I was in the middle of washing clothes and other thingies. But I promised I would drive up Friday night. Course the nephews weren't happy but I can't make everyone's world all rosy and cozy.

Al's foot was pretty bad. It was swollen and I made him put it up. He wanted to soak it in hot water with espison salt. I said no. He actually listened and laid on the couch with it up on two pillows. The next morning it was a little better. He only had to use one crutch. And by that night, he was walking un-aided. It was much better yesterday.

I did absolutely nothing this weekend. Cooked. Napped on the couch and watched The Lord of the Rings Movies. Napped. Played with the cat. Napped. Did sweep the floors. And drank Slippery Dicks all weekend. Look it up. It's a drink.

Met M for Breakfast at McD's Saturday morning. We spent 2 hours talking about all sorts of things like men and sex. I'll just say this. I thought I was a freak but she's 60 degrees higher on the Freak-ometer. I'll just say this...she's got a Zorro mask, whip and leather boots. Get the picture? She's an avenger of bad orgasms. I'm more of a witchy woman...conjurer of sexual magnetism and bewitchment.

Didn't sleep that great at Al's house Fri & Sat nights but last night...I slept like a baby. If Al tossed and turned I didn't notice. Probably slept so deep due to not getting much sleep all weekend. Cat naps don't count, ya know.

I spent some time looking over all the short stories I've written. There's a hodge podge of them. Some scary, many erotic and some are 'southern belle-esque.' I think I'm gonna concentrate on the scary/thriller ones for the collection. I'll have to come up with a title for the collection. Editing the short stories won't be a major problem. Hell..they're short!

There was snow on the ground at Al's house this morning. And there was a fine mist of snow falling when I left. The wind was howling like a lost baby in the cold. I wasn't sure that I wanted to go out in it...maybe something dangerous waited for me. Hmmm.. this sounds like the beginning of a spooky story... maybe I should save it.

But seriously, it was cold and still is. From the looks of it Lumberton got very little if any snow. I didn't see a flake anywhere when I got in this morning.

On a different note, Teez has been gone for 4 months now. Strange how it seems like he was just here yesterday...replying to a blog post or teasing me on the OHS page. OR making me laugh on the phone...I miss him so deeply and talk to him daily during quiet times. Time eases the loss, I'm told...but so far it hasn't. I'm just getting better at hiding it.

Friday, February 27, 2009


Thank God I'm Freaky!

I haven't managed my time all that well this week. Bet I've signed in to blog at least 4 times and something would happen and I would have to exit. But I'm here now...taking time out of my day to post a few sweet nothings.

People are calling about the reunion. Many are excited. A few are unhappy about the cash bar. But it was either that or us getting kicked out of the motel for smuggled in liquor. With people having to spend money, it will keep down the drinking somewhat. Or rather the rowdiness of drunks.

Decided on the menu this week. Bryan helped me with it. He's so funny. I had forgotten how much fun we used to have in school. He's called a few times to talk about the reunion and each time we've talked over an hour...not about the reunion either. Mainly about being business owners and stuff like that... it's refreshing to talk to a fellow classmate who understands how hard it is to own a business.

I've been doing pretty good about Teez this week...until last night. I made the mistake of reading a few of his emails where he expressed his feelings for me and the hopes he had of our future. I miss him so damned much. I cried and cried last night... this man will stay with me for a long time and to be honest, I don't think I'll ever get over him not being here. He is/was a one-of-a-kind man and I doubt there is another out here like him.

Al hurt his foot this week. He's on crutches and I'm going up tonight to help him with things. He's in pain and has to soak the foot. I guess I'll be Miss Nurse. He's still gonna work this weekend, so I'll have down time. Maybe I'll get a chance to post those cell phone pix I have of the nephews. They're pretty funny.

Well...that's it for now. Life is ...well, life.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Cold toes

My toes are very cold...I guess I should put on a pair of my fuzzy socks. But I'm too lazy to get up from the PC and if I do get up...I won't return to finish this

my toes will just have to deal!

Had a decent weekend with Al for a change. I cooked some great dinner both nights. We hung out and talked Sat. night... then turned in late. Sunday we slept in and I got up to make us sausage burritos. They are better than McDonalds. Al was impressed. WE cleaned the house and then hung out ...again...but I turned in early due to a horrible headache.

Al gave me a pair of the prettiest earrings. I'll have to try and photograph them. They are multiple colored crystals (in pastels) stuck together in the shape of a heart. Al said that when he saw them he told one of the guys he works with that "These remind me of Sherrie...colorful and sparkly."

That's me!

I'm feeling happy tonight. Lately I've been reconnecting with old friends --online and off. And I am glad that they've come back into my life. Friends...they make the road to nowhere brighter, don't they?

The Reunion invitations went out Saturday. I didn't wait for the last page (the bio questions and the questionaire for awards) to get approved by the others. I wanted them mailed out so that I could catch people getting tax refund money... hey, I'm not a dummy.

My cell phone has these crazy frames on the camera phone thingie. I took some funny ones of the nephews. I'll have to see if I can get them downloaded and posted here.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Shere News

Let's see...

Al got declined on his HELOC (home equity line of credit)due to not being on his job for 2 years (they told him he needed to be there for a year...I was there when he talked to them aka Wells Fargo). He was fit to be tied this past weekend and not in a fun way. Let's just say Shere got no Valentine present.

The reunion planning is almost done. All I have to do is write up the bio/awards questionairre and we'll mail out the invitations next week. I even have the envelopes addressed/stamped. Now I'm getting grief over the cash bar decision from the religious sector. It was that or drinkers were gonna sneak in booze. Any outside alcohol will shut down the party prompto.

Ben has a project on Dr. Ronald McNair due next Monday. He asked me to help him. I remember that day with vivid detail.

Lot of crime going on around here. I wanted to stop and help an elderly couple with their car today but they were parked by a heavily wooded area and I was afraid of an ambush! So I called 911 instead. Sad that I felt that way.

Told William and Ben a story about us being cabbages that rolled down a hill to steal a pot of gold. Ben asked if that had ever happened before? Hmm..good question.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Bad Painter Lady...


All week I've meant to get in here and write about the party and other stuff. But I haven't felt like it. I've been stressed out this week over rush jobs at work and getting the reunion stuff straight.

The party was a lot of fun. Had a good blend of people. I will probably sit down later and write more on it. There was drama and action... and that was after the murder was solved. I tell you...sometimes 'people watching' can be an exciting sport.

Got the deposit paid for the reunion. Got the menu. We've got a month or so to decide on what to eat. Meeting with Shook'em up tonight to go over the invitation letter and pictures we've collected for the slide show. Plus we have to write bio questions for the program book. I hope that I don't have to beg people to send in their money. April 15 is the deadline. After that they have to pay more.

Teez has been on my mind all week. At odd times. And in my dreams. I've had sudden bursts of sadness so strong that I fear I am losing my mind. And strange things keep happening.... like yesterday's sunset. I watched a ball of fire (the sun) disappear completely, leaving a pink/pewter sky. And about thirty mins later when it should have been a darker pewter sky, there were long streaks of red/orange... right outside my kitchen window, facing North-East... there were none in the west where I saw the big orange ball drop. When I saw the sky, Teez popped in my head.

I want to go to his grave this weekend. Al works Sunday. I could go then...but I am not sure how I'll respond. I can't lose myself in grief, crying for him by his grave. If I do... I may not return.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

How am I doing? Why thanks for asking...

I'm doing okay this week. I haven't cried myself to sleep any this week. I get sad but it's not consuming me. Each day I have haiku yesterday driving home...I saw a series of baby blue clouds and immediately Teez popped into my head. Sometimes those drives home are so long and sad...we would talk every day on my drive home. I like to think that the baby blue clouds were Teez's way of being with me.

I am grateful for the time we had. He's essence will be a part of me always. I know as time goes by he won't be in my mind and heart as strongly as he is now, but he will always be there in some form. We had too much of a connection for him to suddenly fade from my soul, heart and mind.

When I am with my friends (those that knew him from high school), I try not to talk about him all the time...but I do occassionally slip. Now they aren't changing the subject like the once did. I think they realize I need to include him in our conversations. Hell, if he were alive today he would call while we were having dinner or whatever, just so he could be a part of it in whatever way he could be.

Maybe I am strong enough to pick up our novel and rewrite parts of it...edit it and let it be a legacy of our love, of the haiku moments we drifted in, savoring each and each other.

Meet The Spartans

If you haven't seen the 300, don't watch the movie "Meet the Spartans." It's a goof on the 300 and other movies, much like the Scary Movie and the Epic Movie. I never saw Scary Movie but I did watch Epic Movie (it goofed on The Lion, Witch and Wardrobe). It had a lot of fun moments but I think Meet The Spartans has to be the best goof movie I've seen in a while.

It followed the 300 movie almost to a tee. I laughed and laughed at some of the stuff they changed. My Brother watched it but didn't think it was funny. Then he heard me laughing a lot and said, "I guess I'll have to watch the 300 to see what's so funny about this one."

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Potent Poet

Summary of character for murder/mystery party:

The Potent Poet grew up under the strict rule of her poet mother and toxocologist father. During her early 20's she fell madly in love with a gorgeous playboy who wanted to marry her, but her parents forbade the union. In a rush of anger, she poisoned her mother and stabbed her father to death with a pen. After six months of marriage to her handsome playboy, she regretfully discovered that her parents were correct in their assessment of her husband. She disposed of him by stabbing him with a pen dipped in fast-acting poison. Now a forever widow and cynic, she is readily available for hire by other heart-broken women in need of revenge. Her poetry is as powerful as the poison she loves to toy with.

Snow and...Hats

Snow can be so beautiful, especially when it's a dusting on the ground and melts in one day! That's my kind of snow, baby. I didn't think we would get any last night, since the forecast called for only a 30% chance of snow. But I was wrong! (Yes, I can admit when I'm wrong). Right before dawn, I looked outside and saw the snow on the ground. It looked so peaceful out, serene and inviting. I took a mental picture of it, in hopes that when I'm old and have nothing but memories to think back on I will remember the vision of this morning.

I've been thinking about posting some of my short stories here. Not the dirty ones...heh heh although those will probably be read quicker than the non-erotic stufff. My friend Michele introduces me to people as "This is my friend Sherrie. She's a writer." Most people introduce me as a photographer, although I'm not--I'm a photographic restoration artist. And some introduce me as "This is Sherrie. She is a poet and has several poetry books published." Other's just say, "This is Sherrie. Run."

The hats that we wear are many. Some few see, while other's only know just one and never bother to see what other hats lurk in the closet. I don't really have a favorite hat to wear. All of the ones I have are unique in their own way: Daughter, Aunt, Granddaughter, Friend, Business Woman, Artist, Writer, Poet, Scorpio, Power Girl, Goddess of Stockings, Kinky Sex Kitten and...the Free Spirited Gypsy. There are others that I refuse to claim and many more yet to be discovered.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


We may get snow tonight...chance of 30%..which is very slim. I'm getting new furniture tomorrow. The old is old and Al wants it. After I cleaned it last night, I realized it wasn't as bad as I thought but I am tired of it and got a good deal on the new furniture.

Super Bowl! What a game! Have to give it to the Steelers..that last play was awesome. The Cardinals didn't show up until the 4th quarter...I confess, those last few mins of the game were nail-biting. Both teams can walk away and say they played a good game...I really enjoyed it.

My food was pretty good. I made some blue cheese dip from scratch and it was superb. But after drinking 3 Smirnoff Ice w/pomegranate fusion, I forgot to check on the ribs and they were a bit overcooked. Not quite rib jerky but close.

My friend Michele and I goofed off from 10 am to around 2 pm Sunday. We ended up at Lowes and ...decided we would have a garden this spring. She's got a huge yard and has been wanting to do a garden for years. Since I am a garden girl expert, I said I would help. It should be a riot. I'm hoping we'll get enough veggies to host a veggie par-tay. Looks like we'll have to invest in bib over-alls and a straw hat. We're gonna plant 3 different types of tomatoes...maybe I'll make ketchup.

She told me about a swingers' club in Erwin (right outside of Fayetteville). It's called You Know Where (YKW)) and on private property. They have a website. I'm sorta fascinated by it... what sort of people go to these places these days...heck it's not the 60's or 70's or early 80's... We're not taking 3sums but full blown orgies. If I ever go through a mid-life crisis, maybe I'll go wild and go to you know where! (hahaha)..that or get a boy toy.

Almost forgot to mention how much I enjoyed Bruce Springsteen's half-time show. What a rocker! He promised to deliver and he did... I was amazed at how clean he looked. It seems that of late he's had a dirty boy air to him...but watching him do his crazy wild moves and sing his heart out...I realized I would do him if given the chance...

Gosh I need to get sex off my mind... jeepers how does a hot-blooded Scorpio accomplish such a feat as THAT!

25 Random Thingies about Moi.

1) I don't pick up pennies if they are tails up. I consider it to be potently bad luck to even touch the coin. If I came across a thousand pennies all tails up, I would leave them.

2) I love coffee but I truly adore the flavored creamers.

3) When I see a crescent moon, I believe that it is Thomas (Teez) smiling down at me from Heaven. He is my guardian angel.

4) I have a major crush on Sportacus from the kids' show Lazy Town.

5) Since 2003, I've participated in the national novel month writing challenge each November. So far I've written 6 novels--all in various stages of editing.

6) Every Friday night my nephews and I dance like robots for twenty minutes.

7) As a Scorpio, I don't believe in getting even--I get revenge.

8) Back in 1997, Dale Earnhardt Jr checked out my butt at a gas station in Monroe. I was heading to Al's house in York, SC. I didn't know who he was until I saw him getting into his Dale Earnhardt Jr racing truck.

9) I think Tom Jones will be hot even when he's 90.

10) Haiku moments during drives uplift my soul.

11) I believe in ghosts and the supernatural.

12) My compulsive buying fetishes are nail polish and lip stick.

13) I have over 100 audio books on CD.

14) When I was around 5, I thought baby alligators were really baby dinosaurs. And I thought that birds flew South Carolina in the winter. Also, I thought that North Carolina won the war between the state(s)... that the civial war was between NC and SC....

15) I want to learn how to read and speak Spanish so that I can read Pablo Neruda's poetry in his native tongue.

16) I hate pancakes, candied yams and cream of wheat.

17) I save Chinese Fortunes and use them as book marks.

18) My nicknames are "Sherbears," "Sherrie-cat," "Sher-Rose" and "P.H." will cost you $20 to find out what P.H. stands for.

19) In 2001, I went on over 25 blind dates and considered becoming a nun. (just kiddin' about the Nun part).

20) My favorite flower is a daisy, because daisies don't tell.

21) I am an excellent cook.

22) I used to read Tarot cards.

23) I believe in miracles and the power of prayer and the power of love.

24) My oldest nephew says that I am his best friend, there fore he refuses to call me Aunt.

25) Vultures fascinate me.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Dinner with Shook'em Up

Sherry Shook'em up and I had dinner at San Jose. Caught up on what happened after high school...etc. Did a lot of laughing. Bryan and Donna were supposed to come along but both didn't make it. Donna had to work over and Bryan's daughter spent the night wih him. Talked to Donna this morning and she said that we weren't suppose to talk about 'good stuff' without her. That she's jealous she missed out on gossip. I asked her just what were we suppose to talk about...she said, "Nothing. Just eat." LOL..she's a riot.

What's funny is that in the middle of dinner, my cell rang & I said "Bet that's Mr. Glazed Donut (Bryan)." Wrong it was Bon and I freaked, which made Sherry laugh. I tried to hide the phone under my purse as it rang. It was so funny. She kept saying "Answer it" and I kept saying, "But what if she finds out about US??" She said, "Don't tell her you're with me!!" I'm sure the people in the surrounding booths wondered what was up!

Called her when I got home and I don't know why I was worried. She went right into whatever it was on her mind. I listened and once she finished, I told her I had to run. I'm less stressed and drained now that I don't get drawn into her drama. Life's tough enough without negative people in your life.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mild but not freezing

We've had crazy weather these last few weeks. Rain for a few days, sunshine/cold, then extreme cold, rain and do you see a vicious cycle storming? I've got bulbs in flower pots that need going in the ground and they're about to bloom because it's been to wet or cold to work in the yard. My congestion is coming back...I swear I've never seen a winter like this..well, at least not in ages.

Not sure where this blog post is gonna take bare with me.

Hmm...Updates? yeah...updates:

1) Nephews

Both guys are doing pretty good in school. William is learning how to do division (he's finding it difficult) but I push him to finish him homework and hope that he gets what we've done. Ben is a quick one. I think if his ADHD wasn't a factor he would rule the 2nd grade. For some reason Ben thinks McCain tried to 'kill' our Current present by dancing. It's such a funny idea that I can't help but wonder if it would have worked.

2) Work

Busy...thankfully. Not swamped but busy enough to not be stressful.

3) Al

Things are status quo. We are getting along really good and are actually having fun on the weekends. Sunday we spent the day at different Asian food marts looking for a rice cooker/warmer...found one and had some amazing rice with toasted seaweed wraps. Yum...I could eat some now. I've decided not to worry about the future...let it take care of itself. With the reunion coming up and me as Chief, my dance card is full. I think once it's over, I'll reevaluate my relationship with Al and what I truly want in the future and go from there.

4) Class Reunion

A few weeks ago, I met with a select group of classmates (Donna H--a police detective, Sherry S-an office manager, Bryan-bakery owner, Phillip--ER PA and... that's all to discuss the reunion. I had become very aggravated with Bon, who was telling fibs about me and my domineering ways regarding the reunion. That I wouldn't let her help with the plans (she must have forgotten the list of things I gave for her to check on) ...oh I don't even want to hash up what was said...let's just say that I got mad, which is something that rarely happens.

We had the meeting at Ruby Tuesday. I must say we had fun and beer. Bon brought her 7 yr-old with her and didn't eat or drink (it was too expensive). One of the things she told someone was that I had to understand that her children came first...well I did understand and I wondered to myself why she didn't FEED THE CHILD before showing up for the meeting. We were eating! None of us realized this until Bon was leaving... I would have bought the child dinner if I had known... anyway... we had the best time...all of us trying to check our language or topics of conversation was a bit of a wet rag but we did.

As the meeting went on and we finally settled down to discuss reunion issues, I noted Bon's body language and it wasn't warm and cozy. A few times I pointedly asked her opinion on things and she would answer "Whatever they decide." They meaning the rest of the group. When we were done, Bon huffed out. Phil had left early to see Bush's final speech. (He's head of the local Rep party). Donna, Sherry and I were standing in the parking lot saying goodbye... Bryan had already gone to his car, when Bon drives by us and I wave bye...She pointedly turns her head.

The final straw... I went home and thought about the reunion, weighed the pros and cons of a luau vs banquet hall/catering company.... and the later won. No luau. It's scratched. We're having it at Adelios at the Ramada Inn. I've booked them for May 30. Details are still uncertain. I hope to have things wrapped up in the next week.

And I haven't heard from Bon except once ...she called to ask if I had an extra copy of our class pic from the last reunion. I didn't. And that's all. B-free for almost 14 days. I come to the conclusion that she's a psychic vampire, draining my spirit of good feelings. She has the worst attitude of any person I've met and when we talk, I end up feeling drained. And I feel so much better now that I don't have to deal with her...with her out of the picture it seems as if others are more willing to help.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Murder...Mystery.. OH MY!

My friend Michele who lives in Fayetteville is hosting a murder-mystery at her house. I'm gonna be a part of it...the Potent Poet! There's a website that has scripts you can buy and download.

She's going with the 'Killers International Annual Meeting' Synopsis. She ran out of characters and we worked on creating my own personal one. I'm really excited. The party is Feb 7... and I'm ready to have some fun. Don't think I'll bring Al along. M's friends are...well...what I call strays. People who don't necessarily fit in well with the mainstream society. She is a kind-hearted lady and tries to help people when she meets someone who is lost or lonely. I admire her for it.

I'm back

My respiratory stuff has cleared up. My shoulder is better and I'm beginning to feel like the old Sherrie is returning. I know Teez would want to hear this and is probably smiling at me right now.

I'll have to take time tonight or tomorrow to blog a long post to catch up on everything.

But at this moment, I'm getting ready to head out and just wanted to take time to say that I've missed blogging and am glad I have found my way back...

I know there will be days when I'll slip and fall but that's only being human. Teez is with me...always will be and with this knowledge I can move on to bright shiny things... like smiles and writing haiku about sunsets and moon glow.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


Thanks Robert...thanks J...for the comment on my Teez poem! Today hasn't been a great day for me...I miss him so much.

I keep wondering what I did that was so bad for God to punish me like he has...first losing my baby and now Teez! If it weren't for the reunion planning, I think I would fall into a depression that would take years to get out of.

But I do try each day to find a way to climb out of the this moment...I can't.

Maybe later... today I'll find a route out.

What I look like today... Hatsy!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Snow Day

We have snow. I took a picture of it and will try to upload later. My whole left side is so dang sore... especially my arm. I've pretty much laid around all day...

although I did have a snowball fight with myself...and lost!

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Ways you Love Me

Every day I think to myself
that I'll never see you again...
never feel your touch or kiss...

But you surprised me with
a touch of fire in the
setting sun at dusk today.

As I stood watching it
fade into the pewter sky,
I felt a breeze on my cheek...

fingers of air in my hair,
caressing my ripe pink lips
soft as a kiss of sweet release.

Just when I think I'll die
from this sorrow that's been
with me since your death,

you somehow find a way to remind
me of the legacy you left for me,
the thirst of life--the thrill of love

and I embrace you in the forms
you choose to show yourself to me;
the ways you love me even now in death.

Sunset from Teez's front porch...

Catch me I'm falling..

Remember that song from the late 80's....

Well..I wish someone had caught me this morning...I fell today at Al's house...or rather outside on his driveway. After putting my junk in the truck, I was walking back to his house to get my coffee mug and say good-bye... and bang, I slide on a patch of wet pine straw that was on the walkway and landed on my left side. My left knuckles are scratched up and swollen..not broken..just swollen and my left knee and elbow got skinned up. My hip and shoulder aches. I'm glad this happened in the winter time...I believe my coat, thick sweater and jeans kept me from getting scraped up even worse. I shudder when I think of what could have happened if I had of been wearing shorts and a tank top.

The last four or so days have been up-side the upside down show on the Noggin channel that comes on late at night...ever seen it. It's rather funny.

Maybe I'll blog about it last few days, not the show...right now it's taken forever to type with one hand. And I need to get some more ice for my knuckles.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Dinner with some Chicks & Dicks

I invited several classmates to have dinner tonight at the new Ruby Tuesday to discuss reunion issues, etc. I've given them nicknames: Donna-got-er-gun (She's a detective with the PD), Sherry Shook-em-up (her last name is Shook), Bon-Bon-E (my fair weather friend), Dr. Phil Good (He's a PA at the ER) and Bryan-Pieman (he owns the local bakery)...oh and me, Sherrie-Queen of the Fucking Reunion.

Yesterday afternoon was a tough one for me...I suddenly was hit by sorrow and grief...missing Teez. After work I went to the drug store to get some advil, etc and wandered around, feeling as if I needed something but didn't know what. I realized I was heading for a massive depression if I didn't do something... I am good at keeping things to myself from real-life people. No one can tell usually unless they know me like a book... but I don't want to get as bad as I got when I lost my baby. Teez would be upset if I did that. But I know he would understand these occasional days when I can't help but cry...

so I got some hair color... a bunch of gray has invaded's not that noticable but to me it is...and so tonight I'll become a bronze brown instead of this natural med reddish brown that is speckled with hard to see gray. Maybe the new look will make me feel better...along with some new lipstick and eye liner and nail polish.

One can change the outside but the inside remains the same. It's hard to white-wash it!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

William is 10 today

Last night we had a little birthday party for William who is ten today. Time sure does fly by. I remember the first time I saw him...all bundled up with a little blue hospital hat on. His eyes were closed and he had been crying. I guess I would too if I was removed from a warm cozy dark place into a harsh cold world with too many lights shining on me.

I put my hand to my mouth and said, "Oh my. He's beautiful" and tears came. But they were ones of joy. I felt him fly into my heart. It was as if I had loved him forever.

Then his father snapped a picture of him and he wasn't too happy about the light flashing on his face. William opened one eye and frowned at me before he started crying. I pointed at his dad and said, "It wasn't me. It was your Dad who did it. Don't get mad at ME!"

And so a new person entered my life and has brought such joy and wonder to my world. For the last ten years, I've watched him face challenges and experience things for the first time that I take for granted. His humor and wit has been as clever at times as my own and how I enjoy that side of him. I even admire his stubbornness and controlling nature at times. With those, he'll go far in whatever career he decides to pursue.

My wish for William is to experience life to the fullest. To take each moment and somehow make it his, even the bad ones... that his joys be felt deeply and his sorrows mourned but not leave deep scars. I wish for him the ability to truly love and to take whatever life throws at him and make something wonderful happen.

Friday, January 09, 2009


I'm actually feeling physcially better today. Only went through 2 kleenexes! My cough is a dry one now...little gunk coughed up. Maybe with the sunny weather we had today and hopefully this weekend (haven't checked the weather report), I'll be able to get over the last of the chest congestion.

Still feel wrung out. I guess my energy will return soon.

Meeting Bryan in the morning to discuss the reunion Menu. He was my boyfriend in the 6th, 7th and part of the 8th grade. He owns a bakery and does catering and lunches too. Always a sunny smile and tends to call all females "Baby."...guess it could be worse...he could call all of us 'witch' or something similiar.

Taking tomorrow off... after the meeting I plan to drive on up to Fayetteville...maybe see what Michele's up to or go to Barnes & Noble for a while.

Enjoy the weekend, folks.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Jan Weather!

We've had mostly gray days since Thanksgiving! I'm so sick of the rainy gloominess that January seems to seep out of its pores.

And I miss Thomas so damn much! He's been slipping into my dreams yet I don't remember them. Just know he was there...I've taken to reading books at night before turning in and was amazed on Monday evening when I realized I had read for 3 hours and hadn't thought of him once. But as soon as I closed the book, he popped into my head. My waking thoughts are of him. While I work, he's there. When I drive home at 5ish, I want to dial his number to chat for a while. I wistfully look at my email inbox for email...none... the OHS page at myspace is dead...

I need a distraction but don't know exactly what I need... I know what I want but I can't have it... only the memories of it are left.

Maybe if the sun returns to my day, I can find a way to get through this grief.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Reunion Ramble

Can't remember if I've blogged about the reunion of late. I had put things on hold during November and December. With Thomas dying, we had decided to move things up to April. That means that I need to get my ass in gear about the plans...

I know I'v written about my fair-weather friend Bon who said she would help me with planning. She has shown no interest in the menu, finding classmates (except those she liked) or the memory table, etc. She wanted to concentrate on the decorations and getting Bryan (who owns a bakery) to make a cake. With her lack of self-esteem, I tried to include her in all the decisions. We had several meetings in Sept and Oct. I asked her to check out DJ's or other entertainment options...but she hasn't. She wanted to have a bio of each classmate in the program booklet. I told her to write out the questionairre..she hasn't.

I think back in September, she got upset with me because Bryan mentioned to her that I was planning the reunion. So she called me up, upset over the fact that he didn't seem to know that she was helping me. I had told him but he must have forgotten. I spent over an hour reassuring her that she was on board and pointed out all the times I called her to ask her opinion, etc. After much fluff, she calmed down.

Then in Dec... she suddenly got on the reunion bandwagon, taking it upon herself to ask various classmates to do this and that... based on a date she thought I had set in March (I was batting around different dates and still haven't really settled on one yet)... instead of contacting her with the information, they called me. I was sorta surprised that they had been asked to do these things but was glad they had. So she gets mad that they contacted me instead of her, and accused me of trying to do all the planning and not letting her do things. She went as far as to tell Donna, one of my other close friends that "I" was the one who was helping HER plan the reunion and that she could plan it by herself. I almost took her up on it but Donna talked me out of it.

So I let it ride and reminded myself that Bon is flaky and her self-esteem sometimes knocks her down... that I should just ignore this.

A day or so after New Years, she calls me up and tells me that she needs to talk and that she doesn't want me to say anything. For me not to get upset over anything she has to say...when I tried to comment, she overrode me with "LET ME TALK!" and so I did. I sat quietly while she went from one self-doubting comment to the next... and held my tongue when she said, "You aren't including me in any of the reunion planning. You've got Phillip and Keith and other people doing things for you. You don't need me. I don't even know if I'm going to go to the reunion or not."

She said some more things...but the fire within me burned the rest of her comments up. I didn't say what I wanted to say... Which was "You're the one who got Keith involved in checking on places to rent, etc. All I ever asked anyone to do was to find people.. Phillip got one address for me, Keith got 3 and Angela M has gotten 5... Charles M has found 3 and so on. I've asked you to check on DJ's. Have you? It was your idea to do a bio of classmates. Have you worked on that?" And so on... but I didn't.

Since then I've been silently fuming and today I thought...what the hell! No matter what I do to include her in my planning, it's gonna backfire on me. She's going to continue to complain to others about me not letting her do things...all for attention. Even if I stood on my head and chanted "Bonnie is the queen of the reunion." over and wouldn't help change the fact that what Bonnie wants is the attention that goes with planning something...she wants people to contact HER about things... back in our High School days, she never quite fit in with the popular group...and oh how she wanted to be in. To her those days were her golden ones...and even to this day she's still trying to impress classmates... but her reputation hasn't helped things..and I don't think the glory that she thinks she'll get from a perfectly planned reunion will change that either.

So today, I called Donna and told her to call a couple of people who have offerred to help me. I've called a few others and we are going to go to dinner and I'll bounce off my plans and see what they think. I'll include Bonnie. She won't like that I've asked others to join in. But you how's not only mine and Bon's reunion... it's The Class of 81's reunion...and I think other voices should have an input.

I'll have the final say...and am not worrying about them taking over...they don't want that job. Bonnie might covet it...but if given the reins, she would decline them.

Monday, January 05, 2009


New Year's Eve was a quiet one for the most part. Al & I went over to my friend Michele's house for a while. She had a few people over. We ate some goodies and talked. Her teenaged son Sef and his friends popped by for a while before heading on unknown adventures.

He showed us one of those humane mouse traps. It seems Michele has a few mice popping in and out and instead of the usual snap & crush trap, she chose a humane one that traps the little rodent until you release it back into the wild world of your back yard.

I wanted to see the mouse but was afraid Sef would put it on me, so I squished that urge. We were sitting at the kitchen table by the sliding glass door. Sef promptly opens the door and tries to toss the mouse in the back yard. It escapes and lands in a bunch of flower pots beside the table that houses overgrown greenery, a prime place to hide. I tucked my feet under me. No way was a mouse gonna run up my pant leg.

Amid the mad rush of teens trying to catch a mouse with their hands, Al touched Michele's arm and said, "Let me get this trap the mouse and then release it out the back door?"

She said, "Yes. I've caught about 12 little mice this way. I hate killing them."

He laughed. "You do realize that the mice are probably imediately coming back into the house? You're most likely catching the same mouse."

She didn't say anything. Just looked confused for a moment. I let out a huge laugh and said, "Hey, you should put some kind of mark on their backs to see if they return."

"You think I should paint them yellow, Sherrie?" asked Michele with a laugh. We totally lost it. No one else was laughing, just M &I. Later after we got home Al said, "I can see why like Michele so much. She's as silly as you are. I can see you doing the same thing with the mouse trap. Catching one and then tossing it right out the back door."

No way.. I'm a snap & crush kinda gal!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

A new Year

I'm better today-both physcially and emotionally. The raw grief of losing Teez has dulled a little. I think because I realize he is still living inside me. Yes I've lost the physical person but the essence of Teez will always be with me. He and I had something so rare and special. That won't die ever... but I'm gonna learn to live with it and still find the love I deserve and continue to live like he wanted me to.

Every day I talk to him. I think of scenes from the times we were together and clips of our many converstaions. I smile, I laugh...I cry a little inside but mainly I embrace all that he gave me. He was one amazing man and I know there isn't another like him. I won't be looking for a clone...and if it's meant to be, there will be another love as great in its own way as the one Teez and I have.

I've decided to start a private blog--a place to write about Teez and I. To get my mind and heart in order, so I can continue my journey alone. My life goes on, even as his doesn't. I can't stop living. Yet I can't move on without putting some sense to this loss and the questions I have about why it had to be so short.

Once I find these answers, then I'll tackle the novel I wrote and give our story the ending it should have had... the ending both of us wanted with each breath we breathed together. This story special, if only to Teez and me...deserves to be told as it should have been.