Thursday, March 31, 2005

Last Day of March rambles

We've got rains again. I'm thinking of having a layer of water-repellant skin added to my body. That way I don't have to fight with an umbrella and all I have to do is shake my body and the rain flies off. Maybe I should patent that idea.

My dad makes a joke about not buying a Harley Davidson Motorcycle because they don't make training wheels for them. Around here Harley's seem to be the trend. We found out this week that they do make training wheels. They're like 2 0r 3 Thousand bucks. I told him he should have patented the idea.

My heart is sad over the Terri Shiavo case. She died after 13 days! 13! What a strong spirit! In my opinion, we witnessed a murder. I'll say this... those who were part of the murder will have to account for it on Judgement day. That's all I'm saying on the subject.

On a lighter note, there is a very handsome and mature 20-almost-21-yr-old guy Matt who keeps asking me out. We did a passport photo for him Monday. He talked to me while Dad was getting set up and I really thought he was least in his late 20's because he had a maturity that I rarely see in someone his age. While we were talking I made up a haiku about the weather and he realized it was a haiku... how many people know haiku when they hear it? My point exactly!

Since Monday he's called several times to ask me questions about taking photos for mother's day and today when I told him I would make sure he got special treatment, he said, "I was hoping to hear that. How about dinner?" Talk about putting someone on the spot! Didn't know what to say...and he said, "Think about. I'm not going anywhere...except to Mexico in June. But I'll be back."

Its a good thing there's no expiration date.

But still... 22 yrs is a big difference.

My Tango Man

My Tango Man

Whisper to me, my tango man,
promise me our dance will last forever
as only true love can.

On a pastel cloud we will glide,
swirling, twirling legs in time, forever
on wind currents we ride.

I'll sing to you, my tango man
about two souls that touch forever
part of a greater plan.

And when the sun falls from the sky,
all creation fades to black, forever
our love will never die.

I'll hold your hand, my tango man
our dance will light the night, forever
as only true love can tango man.

From a vague tune I can't remember... maybe sweet music man.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Sing to Me

Sing to me of mystic nights,
satin hidden in shadowy corners;
sing of sunlight fading at dusk
of fireflies that weep diamonds.

Sing to me of yesterdays,
the ones that create stars;
sing of stolen dreams and hope
that gives voice to song.

As you sing and night smiles down
at the tremors of your voice,
let violins play a tune that
skips inside the beating of my heart.

Sing for me, my caged songbird
of the love we once bathed in.
I am sure the moon will recite
the lyrics for all eternity.

~ ~ ~
I wish I had rhymed and metered this poem. Maybe I will someday.

Lisa Presley on Love and Hate

Referring to her ex-husband... Michael J.

"I don't want to bash him.
I don't hate him, I don't have any of that
going on. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifferent, and it's like,
I'm indifferent."--Lisa Presley

My Tarot Reading

Tarot is a living picture book that changes every time we read it!

First a word or several about my Tarot readings. I don't forecast the future. Nothing is set in stone...I believe we are offered choices and we make our own future. Which is one reason I don't allow an outcome card in my Tarot Spreads.

The cards give suggestions on what's happening subconsciously---you know the saying, "Can't see the trees for the forest."... that's what a reading does for me... Shows me the trees. And sometimes they point out things I don't want to see. Sometimes a reading is referring to the past, sometimes the now and often what can be... I've had incidences where I don't understand what the cards are telling me and then a few days or even weeks later it's crystal clear.

About Tarot cards.... there are 78 cards... 22 Major Arcana (they deal with the major events in our life--they tell us to take note) and 56 Minor Arcana (they deal with day to day living).

The cards I use are the Universal Waite deck. It is a version of the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith deck.

The spread that I do for general readings is a simple form of the Celtic Cross spread. Sometimes I pull a card for the reading and then do the layout. Sometimes I don't. It depends on the situation or the person I'm doing the reading for. The spread has 6 cards in it. I also call the card on the bottom of the deck a special message card. So when the cards are all pulled its a total of 8 most of the time. For those I read for the first time I just do the 6 card spread until they get comfortable with readings.

I cut the deck into two piles and shuffle them until they fight against me. That's when I know they are done. I cut them with my left hand...its what I call the neutral hand, as I'm right-handed. Here's my own reading from Monday night:

Card pulled for reading:
It is a major Arcana card--- its about inner strength. It reminds me that I have the inner ability to succeed at anything I do. Not to give up because it is attainable. I relate to this card. I believe that anything is possible as long as you're willing to give it a try. Just because its possible doesn't mean that you'll be good at it. That's a chance we all take when we try something new. But at least we find out if we can do it. And that's worth the effort. I think this card is the green light for my online magazine.

Card 1 in the Spread...My immediate past card:
The Hermit:
Introspection, seeking inner peace, analyzing a situation, gathering information. I retreat often, because I am a creative person. This refers to my writing and my goals I have plotted out for the year.

Card 2...My now card:
The Lovers :
A confusing card to many, because it often refers to choices in love. I was surprised to see it in the reading, because I really don't have any major love issues to choose. I think its telling me that I should follow the path of what I love doing, no matter what risks I might face. That the risks are worth it. Whatever the choice is, I don't think its a person because of the card (Actually the 5th card of the spread) that crosses this card...which is the Star.

The Star represents something that affects my now. This is a positive card--the promise of hope. It tells me that there is a positive future. But it isn't a sudden change, its subtle. A star shows the way, its up to me to make the journey.

Maybe both cards are telling me not to give up on the possibility of love.

Card 3 is...My immediate future card:
Five of Wands:
A Minor Arcana card. Its a Wand and represents thoughts and passion--such as new careers, creative endeavors and projects.The Five is about competition and power struggle. I believe this refers to finding time to make all my tasks fit into a single smooth operation. It could mean that I have to sort out myself before I can make it all fit together.

Card 4 us...The environment of the future:
Ace of Pentacles:
Pentacles deal with the physical--such as health, finances and work related--such as jobs, tasks. craft, labor. .Aces represent beginnings. This Ace is about taking an idea (Planting a seed) and watching it sprout. It tells me that if I can get it together (ie the 5 of Wands), my goals will bear fruit.

Final card of the spread #6...Something to consider:
A wise card. Not always a nice one, but one that tells me that to keep inner balance, I must make adjustments. I must not resist this or I'll not find the balance and harmony I need to succeed.

Special message (th card at the bottom of the deck):
Queen of Cups
This is my card. It's a Water sign-- Represents Pisces, Cancer and Scorpio. I am a Scorpio. The Cups suit deals with issues of the heart--love, intuition, spiritualness. She's telling me not to ignore my intuition--my gut feelings. Go with what feels right.

To pull it all together, the reading tells me that I have great possibilities with my magazine, as long as I get the wrinkles ironed out and am able to keep my inner harmony.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

It's a Haiku Day

sunlight smiles on me...
I am a giant goddess;
shadow on the ground

~ ~~ ~
Went for coffee a few mins ago and noticed that my shadow was a giant following me.

Sunny Tuesday

The sun reappears finally.
Yesterday was cold and gloomy. I am congested again, so when I got home I took some cold medicine and was in bed by 8. Slept til midnight and woke up totally. I couldn't go back to sleep until 5 am.

So I worked on editing a short story for a contest --the deadline is March 31. I didn't have to do much to it...just strengthen some of the sentences.

After that I listen to some music on my CD player... usually it puts me to sleep--I have some 'meditation' tunes. But not last night...wide awake. I opened my bedside table to get a book out to read but instead of a book I found my Tarot cards. I thought of my friend Marilyn...and decided it was time for readings.

I did one for her and a few others. I forgot to bring them to work though...they're on a piece of paper I stuck in one of my Pablo Neruda books. I've made a note to send them tonight.

Did one for myself..its pretty much on target. I think I'll post it here tomorrow.

I was still wide awake so I pulled out "Cabinet of Curiosities" by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. I love their books..they tend to entwine various characters from different story lines and it lends a more interesting story. I do love Special Agent Pendergast.

Also joined an Audio CD book club. It's much like NetFlix. You pay X amount each mount for unlimited books on CD. I am in heaven. I can listen to the books as I work. Or at night when my eyes are too tired to read.

Well...time to get back to work...

Monday, March 28, 2005

On Gray Gloomy Days

On gray gloomy days,
I always long for the sea,
its foamy fingers writing haiku on the sand.
Gulls caw out each syllable,
as they ride wind currents
inches over the churning gray water.
The sea is a lonely soul,
even with her belly full of sea life,
she still yearns for so much more.
And so do I.

~ ~ ~ ~
The weather tends to have a negative effect on my muse.
She needs a vacation---to an exotic island where naked native boys fan her with palm fronds.
Feed her dates, mangos and other fruit... massage her with warm oil...

Better stop there.

Gloomy weather

I think its been gray and damp since Friday. And cool too.
My cough is back..trying to convince it to go visit someone else.
But its ingoring the no vacancy sign.

The weekend was nice. Lots of fun activities, all G rated.
Sometimes I think if it were not for my adult toys, I would rank a G-rating, most of the time.

Easter was nice. The nephews found all the eggs. We played outside (probably why I have a cough) for a few hours. I seem to be the one that's always in charge of hide & seek. Then when the boys pick up one of my expressions, I get in trouble. Hey, what's up with that???

Now ... I am not sure I'm happy with the Carnivale finale. I'll have to watch it again.

Well, not much else to write for now... its been a semi-busy afternoon and I plan to leave at 5, so I best get hopping on my work.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Good Friday

It's Good Friday... a few of my elderly customers asked if I was planting a garden today...that if you plant on Good Friday, you'll have a good crop yield. It gave me an idea...I could plant my vibrators. Yea... but my fear is they'll yield vegatable shaped ones...I can see my neighbors stealing them. Then come to me complaining that they didn't make a good casserole!

Today has been hectic! I've been restoring some really old photos--circa 1930. The paper is wearing away, but the images are still strong, except for some slight 'rust' spots that I think are due to duct tape that's aged until its brittle. Whoever framed the photos used duct tape on the back to seal the frame backing...not a good cracks with time and the glue seeps thru the paper.

I could go on and on about the aging of photos...but I'll stop.

Around 5, we expect Prom kids to stop in for fun in the city... the girls will have on strapless dresses and will be continuously pulling them up over their boobs and the boys will not have their boutonnieres on and I'll have to pin them in place.

I enjoy Prom nights. Except when I think about mine and realize over 20 yrs has gone by...

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Death Be Not Proud

My vibrating silver bullet died Tuesday morning during a particular long workout. It was one of those mornings where one orgasm wasn't enough...and once I made it to three I figured I would go for died at the threshold point. Much to my chagrin.

Jo came on to chat and I told her that I killed the silver bullet. Then I said I was going to invest in one of those new expensive high tech toys. Jo said, "That's interesting...what's he called?"

lmao... that killed me.

I told her if I lived alone, I would get me one of those male doll toys...and if I did...I would do web cam shows.... if I'm gonna freak...might as well show it off.

Irish Pirate update

Chapters 1 to 14 is up. Thanks Sarah and Jo for pointing out typos. I've corrected them on my master copy and will try to get to them in my blog later today.

It's been fun reading it again. I have forgotten some of it. I keep thinking..'wow, that was a good line.'

Thanks for the input and thanks for reading.

Hey Bill...I remembered the 'the' this time. :)

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

A Letter to a Love

Dear Robert,

A long time has gone by now... I'm amazed I can still recall the green of your eyes, the sharpness of your jawline and the way your skin tasted so salty after our loving. But some memories never fade. They stay with us to give us hope, to give us strength...strip them away and there isn't much to live for.

I think of you every day. Wonder if you're alive and well, happy even. With every accomplishment, every moment of joy, I wonder what your thoughts would be. Do you think of me? Do you look up at the sky at night, studying the stars, trying to guess which one I wish upon? I know you don't wish on them. You once told me that it was a waste of breath. Maybe so..maybe so. I don't agree. Stars represent hope. You never seemed to grasp that concept.

But you aren't to are pure military down to the bone.

I'll never forget when I was approached about meeting you. I can still hear Dale saying, "Sher, I've got the perfect guy for you. He's never been married, sane and is looking for an intelligent woman to date. He's army but don't let that be a factor."

Oh how I balked. Not at the army part but at the 'perfect guy part.' I had grown disenchanted with love. Lucky for us, she took charge and gave you my number. I'm smiling now at the cavalier way we danced around each other, neither thinking for an instant that there might be magic waiting to happen.

I'll never forget the first time I saw you. How surprised I was that you were actually attractive! But what got my attention was the same look on your face, as if to say, "Wow, she's not bad."

Yes we had our misgivings and our doubts, mine was about your sense of humor...your's was about my accessories. I wasn't worried about that part...I knew I could change accessories...I wasn't too sure about your humor.

What impressed me the most was the way you cut through my did it was a confidence that made me take note. I remember thinking, "Finally a man who knows me intuitively." None have since, Robert. I keep hoping but I know in my soul that none ever will, not like you did.

I'll never forget that first kiss. The way you touched my face, my you kissed me. How you pulled me deeper into the kiss and how it ended into another which ended into another... so many kisses. Remember how we looked up at the moon, laughing...only to start kissing again.

And that night...that magical night, I believed in love at first at first kiss.

We had our ups and downs, mainly you disappearing for months. I was prepared for it though, especially after hearing you stories about leaving the country on a mission and returning to find old girlfriends dating others. Hearing your stories, all I could think was "How can any woman not wait for the man she loves?" When you would disappear, I knew it was because of a mission. I patiently waited. And looked at the stars nightly until you returned.

I'll never forget the first time you came back. There I was...just as you left me. I'll never forget the disbelief in your voice when you realized I had waited. I lied though, when you asked if I had been lonely. I was and in many ways, still am.

So began our journey...absence and reunion, such a twisted knot.

Until 9/11.

Until the war on terror...

You had to go. It was your job. I'll never forget the way you explained that loving me kept your mind off your job and that many lives depended on your clear it was either me or the death of others. You chose your job. I knew you would and I understand, even now.

Since you've left, I haven't loved wholeheartedly. I've tried. But truth be told, I tend to chose men who are emotionally unavailable. Maybe my way of being true to you...true to the love I still hold deep inside.

Dale's moved away, so we can't get the updates on each other like we did after you left the final time. The last time I saw her was about 2 years ago. She said she had seen you. That you asked about my health, about my happiness... and she told you that I 'got by.' You probably wouldn't be happy to hear that she told me you looked so full of regret when you asked about me. I don't think about it much. Why drive myself insane?

It's your birthday today...March 23. My horoscope for today told me not to live in the past. I don't... but on days like this one, I think its okay to visit.

Do I still love you? Yes, but its a love that is free. It doesn't bind me. When you first left, when I realized I would never see you again, I felt the world would go black. One day, a few months later I realized that the moon still held mystery, that the stars still winked at me--daring me to ask them to bare their secrets... life still went on, still held beauty and though my heart, my soul was empty.... I couldn't resist it...

Would you like me now? The changes are subtle. I'm more at peace than I was. Content in some ways, accepting in others. I take the moment and I seize it...make it mine. I'm sure you are different in ways too. I can't imagine what you've gone through.

With every love I've had, I've learnt something...from you, from the love I have for you still...I learned that you can't hold on to love, you can't hold on to another...there is no control over either... I learned the ability to love and not resent it, to continue living even when the center of that love is no more and to be thankful I had the love, to be thankful that it still exists inside me.

You may not believe in the power of the stars, the power of hope but I do. Maybe I'll never see you again. Maybe I'll never again hold in my arms, a love like ours...but I do have one thing...I do have hope. I'm not afraid.

Maybe one day our stars will touch again.


I hate spyware/adware/malware... hell, I guess I'm not the only one. I've got something on this pc that keeps changing my font size on webpages. I"ve got 5 spy removal programs and none are finding it. Drives me nuts.

I'm going ahead with the magazine. Got some ideas, rolling around in my noogin.

Today I've been printing orders and not been online much...mostly poppin' on and off.

A lady is in here now, asking if we can remove Tatoos off her daughter's arms when she has her wedding portrait done! Her dress is isn't that crazy!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

A Flash

As I was working a while ago, I had a flash...

an online NC magazine

one that covers writing, art, areas and people of interest and even a children's section.

I'll have to work on the idea tonight during my down time.

I know its work but I feel I need to branch out some... to broaden my writing and online is easy to do. I've got a website that I just upgraded and I can make 200 subdomains.

yea.. I'm thinking aloud. lol

Sunday was Puzzle, Shell and Cake Day

My Sunday was great. Granny lives at the beach, about 60 miles or so from me. My sister Lisa and the nephews drove over on Saturday and spent the night. Mom and her John drove over early enough to go to Church with Granny on Sunday. My brother and I got there at lunchtime.

On the drive, we listened to the Rock station and discussed music. Lots of the songs were older ones and we had fun remembering the era from which they sprang. On the road, I noticed lots of dead animals. I told John it was due to a full moon risings… he gave me a look and said.. “I think it’s due to being in the path of an auto.”

The nephews were happy to see me. Ben grabbed my hand and pulled me into the dayroom. He wanted to play ‘cars.’ But when I showed him the puzzles I brought with me, he abandoned that idea. We put a 70-piece puzzle of Toy Story together first. I’m trying to show him how to put the frame together before trying to put the inside pieces in place…and to look for like colors. It was complicated for him. I think he’s used to those jumbo five piece puzzles, after all he’s only 3.

But when I pulled out the 30-piece puzzle of the Jungle Book…he was really excited. I think because it had fewer pieces. I bet we put that puzzle together 10 times. I had it memorized.

Ben got bored and ran off. Lisa sat down to chat awhile. Mom and Granny were getting lunch ready—too many women in a small kitchen can be murder. I took off my wristwatch and said, “Time me.” I put the puzzle together in less than 2 minutes. Then jumped up and did a victory dance. My sister has a way of looking at me like I’m a nut. She said, “Congratulations.” And handed my watch back. Man, why are wonderful thrilling feelings like those wasted on someone who doesn’t understand the challenge of conquering a puzzle in minutes?

We had a great meal and since I am the official nephew entertainer, I didn’t have to clean up afterwards. I was dispatched outside to play hide & seek with the boys. William counted first…to ten. Ben and I had to run away fast. I found the perfect spot to hide. William ran around shouting, “Where are you?” I had to keep reminding Ben not to tell him. When William got close to us, we jumped out and shouted, “BOO.” Poor guy—he fell over screaming. Then it was my turn. I counted to 15. William kept yelling, ‘Over here. We’re hiding over here.” I tell ya, it took about 5 turns before both boys got the concept of not telling where they were hiding.

Since it was windy, we went it for a while. Mom told me that she and Lisa were going to hide Easter Eggs. Hide Easter Eggs???? The reason was that Granny doesn’t get to see the boys find eggs at Easter. I can see her point. Granny is 80 and it’s hard for her to drive over our way often. Plus it gave the boys something to do outside. And they had fun. After the hunt, they went in to open the eggs—those plastic kind you fill with candy. My sister gave my brother a few pieces and Mom had a fit. We’re to recycle the candy this Sunday!!!

Next we had the birthday cake and Granny opened presents. William gave them to her. When we would tell Granny whom the present was from, William would take it from her and give it back to the person who gave it to her. I had a good laugh over that.

After the cake, we walked down to the waterway. One of Granny’s neighbors has a short pier. William kept telling me that we were going to throw shells into the ocean. When we got to the end, I realized what he meant. At low tide, the gulls pick up shellfish from the shallows and fly up high. Then they drop the shells onto the pier, so the crack open for the gulls to eat the flesh inside. The pier was covered in shells, which the boys tossed back into the water. My sister was terrified that they would fall in. They didn’t, btw.

After that, we all left and got home around 6:30 or so. I was tired. But it was a great day. Granny enjoyed it and that’s what makes me the happiest.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Cripples and the Kettle Boils

You know... I'm a very easy going person. 90% of the time I've got a joke or a silly story to tell. And when I do blow up...its usually not a pretty sight...

Every working day since 1994 (actually since 1989 but my office was in the back of the other building--in this building, I'm close to the front lobby where dad hangs out), my dad and his friends sit and discuss how horrible the world some government official (it varies) is the AntiChrist, how the mexicans are stealing local jobs, how corrupt the government--local and national is, etc and so forth. If someone has done 99 'things' right out of 100 --they concentrate on that 1 thing done wrong.

I sit ... I listen and do my best to block it out. If I'm working on an intricate job, I can block. If I'm printing or scanning or my fan's going...I miss most of the conversation. Most of the time I disagree with their conclusions...but that's because I am a Republican. And I know its no use giving my opinion because they look at me like I'm a pet monkey who's learned sign lanuage.

Today...there was no blocking. I had already done my day's work of printing. And was working on contrast/brightness and color balancing of some faded photos. Dad and two of his cohorts were talking. Actually one of them was doing most of the talking--- James, the Town Crier. He's 77 and comes in almost daily to discuss how bad the world is. He interjects his doomsday rambles with "amen... Praise Jesus...The Bible says love everyone and I do..."... you get the picture.

I'm working and listening and the first thing he said to the others that makes my kettle start to steam was "Wasn't yesterday a nice day? I went to church. Amen. And it was 'woman's day.' You know, what's wrong with the world today is women. Take that Rice woman for example...she doesn't need to be talking to Korea..."

I took a deep breath and continued my tasks. He went into some of the other problems with the middle east and our local sherrif's department.

There is a handicapped guy who is downtown a lot. He gets around on crutches and has what my brother has .."cerebral palsy." James calls him a 'cripple.' Today for some reason, James decides to bash 'cripples.' I hate that word. My brother John is not a cripple. He's not even handicapped...he's disabled. We do not own a handicap sticker for the truck.

I have to give my dad a little credit. He did argue with James over the 'cripple issue'. And I have to give Earl, the other guy credit because he tried to change the subject. The topic went on for a good 10 minutes. I kept saying to myself, "Sherrie, ignore him. He's the 'cripple.' And it almost worked until James said, "All cripples are pitiful. They should be thankful we take time to help them out. Amen."

That did it... my kettle boiled over. I stood up with enough force to cause my chair to push backwards and crash over, as one of the wheels caught on the rug. In a flash, I stood before the men. My voice was crystal clear. I don't know how I managed not to cry because I was so angry but I didn't. Here's what I said... mainly to James..

I pointed a finger at him... "Handicapped people are not cripples. They cope with life better than you do. Every day you come in here you reek with negativity. Have you not looked outside and noticed the sunshine...that the pear trees and the tulip trees are blooming? Do you not see the good that's around you?"

He looks at Dad as if to say, "What's her problem?" Dad looks at me and starts laughing. Not a good thing to do.

"I sit and I hear you guys discuss the horrors of the world. Every sentence is laced with negativity... I'm talking to you too Dad. I am sick and tired of hearing it. You men need to try to find some good in this world, beause I have some sad news to tell you... the world has always been troubled and its always going to have troubles. I suggest you take time to look at a flower, study the clouds and the sun or even the moon, because there is beauty and there is goodness all around us. If our town is so bad, get involved and see if you can make a difference."

James chooses this moment to ask Dad "Is she on her monthly?"

(Do you think that was a good idea? You're right if you said no...)

He got my full attention. I guess its the Scorpio in me that knew where to strike...where the soft belly was must vulnerable...

"James, you spew out Christianity with every breath. You say you go to church every week and you close your paragraphs with Amen. If you are so high and mighty in the sight of God and if you really have the love of Jesus in your heart, it looks like you would be spreading it around instead of concentrating on satan's handiwork. Where's the love? Don't you think God would want you to witness about the beauty of his world? Look deep man because what you say reflects what's in your heart. Amen? Amen!"

He got up and said, "I'm leaving." He hustled out with his hat on crocked. And Earl went out right behind him. Dad sat for a min and then looked at his watch. "Oh I've got to get to the lab." He flew out of here. And stayed away for about 30-40 mins.

I am better now. But my good humor was snatched away and the rest of my weekend stories deserve to be written when I am in jolly spirits... I figure a good night's rest will restore me.

The rest of the weekend....

...posts will be made tomorrow. Got sidetracked by something else that happened today.
I'm going to post it next... Some of you have read it already... so you're allowed to skip the post. lol

IHOP, Porn and Brian W

Friday night my movie pal Doug and I drove to F-ville to see the Ring 2. On the way we covered a range of topics...mainly current events. By the time we got to the theatre, all showings were sold out! We drove to some of the other theatres but none were showing it.

We ended up at the IHOP. I had some French Toast. Very yummy. Our topic there was old porn flicks and how they’re so different today. There were some GIs sitting behind us and one kept turning around to look at me. I know a lot about the old porn, especially Ron Jeremy… he’s the man…oh and Peter Horne. I think his cock is sooo hot. I almost bought a dildo shaped like it a few years ago. Course I didn’t tell Doug that. I imagine it seemed strange to the GIs that we were discussing porn so matter-of-factly.

On the way home, I was forced to listen to the Beach Boys… or rather Brian Wilson. Doug had a demo that BW had made years ago. His voice was all scratchy. D said, “Listen to this song. His voice is so full of pain.”

It wasn’t… it was just scratchy sounding. I pacified him, by agreeing with him.

The drive home seemed to take forever. I guess that’s due to the music. LOL. I really am not a big Beach Boys fan.

Saturday I spent half the day at work, then went birthday shopping for Granny. Ended up with two boxes of candy. That evening I stayed in. Watched some of the season 2 Curve Your Enthusiasm DVD, the movies “Exorcist, the Beginning” and “Quills.” I was surprised that both movies were fairly decent ones.


A lovely day! And a lovely weekend! It's a sunny, mild and productive day. I've gotten tons done already...know what that means... blog entries later.

On the list:
Movie that never was
Debates and the Beach Boys
Movies that were
Driving and jammin'
Throwing sea shells
Early Easter Egg hunts
Birthday party
An old lover and kleenex

I'll be back... how foreboding that sounds

Another Poem

(This poem is really the beginning of a story...I realized it was too close to my past and sometimes its best to let some demons lie)

Alone again.
Some things never change
in the pattern of my life.
I put the last of the reminders
of him in a card board box,
one secured from the liquor store--
Salty Dog Whiskey.
There is irony there;
his favorite drink, his beloved whiskey.
Right now I can't find the humor.
Give me time.
I know I'll see it eventually.


Under wooden steps
weather beaten and gray,
were shrinking violets
hiding in the shadows;
purple petals so frail
yellow centers all bright-eyed.
They were safe from footsteps.
Tell me, shrinking violets
is there enough room
for me under those stairs?
I, too detest being
stepped upon.

~ ~ ~ ~
My Granny's birthday was Sat. She turned 80. Sunday we went to see her (I mentioned that we were going in an earlier post). I always look under the back entrance steps, to see if there a violets growing there. And they never fail to appear...under the steps.


Honky Tonk Woman
Wild horses tear us apart~~
Can't get what you want

~ ~~ ~ ~
A radio station placed a Rolling Stones music block, as I drove to work.... and behold a haiku is born.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Homeward Bound


One of the most comforting words in our lanuage. But what if you couldn't get there...what if you were stranded in an uncaring town, in the cold rain.

I left work before 5. Almost drove straight home but remembered I was out of milk, coffee and bread. So I drove over to the Food Lion by Kmart. I noticed a soldier sitting on the bench close to Food Lion. He had about 4 of those green army issued duffel bags all around him. A young guy... he had a tired reserved look --one that gave him a look of being older than he really was.

I went inside and got my stuff. Saw an old high school classmate, Jeff who is over the Meat Market and as we chatted, one of the guys that worked there came running up to us. He told Jeff that he was needed outside...the manager was trying to get rid of a loitering guy. I checked out quickly. I was cold and ready to get home to have a nice hot cup of coffee.

As I left the store, I saw that Jeff and a couple of other guys were talking to the GI, who was visibly upset. I had to walk by and what I heard caused me to stop short. The guy whose name was Jason had just got back from Iraq a few weeks ago and was trying to get home to GA and was stranded in my town. He was suppose to get a ride from the base but it fell through...and he didn't have any other way home. He managed to catch a ride as far as my town and was trying to get a ride off the interstate but it was rainy and cold and he was hoping the rain would stop so he could get back on the interstate and thumb a ride.

The manager was adamant about him moving his stuff. I am usually a calm cool and collective type...never make waves until I feel some injustice is done, usually to someone else. And that's how I felt about what was happening to the young GI.

He looked at the manager and said in a shaky voice, "Man, where I am I supposed to go?"

No one said anything. One of the other Food Lion workers stepped out and told the manager he had a phone call. I looked at the boy and thought, "What if he were my son? What if this was Robert?"

What really got my goat was that no one was offering any solution to his problem. So I did what my heart told me to do... I told the GI to get his stuff and follow me. That I would take him to the bus station. Jeff looked shocked. I knew what he was thinking....that I didn't know this boy and it wasn't wise to pick up strangers. I know that already.

On the way to the station, Jason made nervous small talk. I asked if he was glad to be back in the US. He said he was but he hated to leave Iraq because he had bonded with the a lot of the people there...he said his unit rebuilt hospitals, schools and other public buildings. He hoped that those he left behind would be ok.

When we go to the staion, I went inside with him because I know the lady who runs the bus staion. Once a destination was mapped out I was as adamant about buying his ticket as the manager was about him leaving. He cried, I cried and the bus station lady cried.

All I can say is this...I slept good last night.

Finally the Sun Appears

We had a couple of nasty cold rainy days and today... I woke up to a smiling sun and mild temps. Spring is in the air. I can feel it. I hope someone tells old man Winter so he'll take his cold ass back to the Frosty North. I'm ready for flowers, sun and other springy pastels and floppy hats.

Tomorrow is my Granny's birthday...#80! My family (me, mom, her beau, my brother, my sister and the nephews) is going to Holden Beach to visit her on Sunday. I can't wait. Its time for the woodpeckers to make their nests in the dead trees by her house. She lives on the intracostal waterway and its marshy. The nephews and I will play ball outside if its not too windy. The wind off the water can be a menace.

Its only an hour and 15 mins drive ...through swamps. I always keep an outlook for Big Foot or bears....and the occasional alligator lying around the swamp bogs that I drove by. Incase I'll never mentioned it...I'll confess ...I'm a lover of nature. And I'm lucky to have opportunities to witness many amazing sights.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Irish Pirate update

I've added the next two chapters


My legs are limbs of desire,
A branching of my sensuality.
Smooth and soft like satin,
The scupltured calf entices.

Snowy white like a raw canvas
Is the skin, supple to touch.
Even in this pure state,
My Beauty is captivating.

Sitting on the edge of my bed,
I roll up a black stocking.
Its porous texture a rough gem
teasing my nimble fingers.

Leisurely, I slip my polished toes
Into the bundle of hose.
I marvel at the delicious manner
The stockings hug my delicate flesh.

First one leg and then the other
Become encased in the impious fabric.
I stand before my candid mirror,
Visually intune with me.

My only apparel is black satin panties.
My eyes caress the diminutive creamy strips
That seperate black nylon from black satin.
I know food for the Gods resides there.

Every shadow is enhanced on my legs
By wicked black stockings.
I cap the look with 4 inch stilettos,
and a long strand of lily white pearls.

As I apply perfume in secretive places,
I think of the moment when my stockinged legs
Will embrace his trunk, limbs tightly gripping
And I submit to the branching of carnal pleasure.

~ ~
An ode to stockings!


I wonder what it would be like to be a piece of black lace,
cascading over lavender scented peaches and cream skin,
to be caressed by strong square fingers.


His eyes held
a dominion of mischief.
She knew that
she should retreat
from his devil-may-care charm.

Her eyes held
a sanguine haven
where he could
lose himself
in her exquisite allure.


The magnetic synthesis perfect.

Happy St. Patricks Day

The rain keeps washing off my green body paint, exposing my shamrocks!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Its Raining Men

...Chippendale exotic men! Or more like plumbers with cracks.

Ever time it rains, someone brings in an old photo for me to look at...and it gets wet!! No plastic bag or envelope...nothing... a wet print...and I go off on them. Its tough enough to repair damage aging causes...neglect makes me irritated. I apologize after chastising but still...use your noggin please.

My dear friend Mary called this morning. We gossiped while I got ready for work. I noticed that a few of my older sweaters are showing wear at the breast area. Since she's a little A cup, I had to complain to her about the burdens of being a C cup and how I hate how winter makes me have nipple stress syndrome (hard nipples) and causes my sweaters to wear out faster. LOL.. she called me a "Bitch." I rub it in every chance I get and she never fails to call me a Bitch...we spend a few mins laughing over it.

I got Robert's new poetry book today.. Mosaicist. I did the front cover. Man it looks nicer in person than it does online. He gave me credit for the front cover. Which is cool. I'm impressed with the way they did the interior poems. Publish America really does a great job on putting the books together. I came across an article last week about PA. I think I'll post the link later and add my own thoughts about them.

But not right now... its time for Coffee and a muffin... a blueberry one.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The Ides of March

Guess its almost too late to say "beware of the Ides of March." It's pushing on I'll save it for next year.

Today wasn't such a bad day. I had time to goof off online while I printed. Was doing a search for something...and now I can't remember what...and found a practical joke site. Oh I had some fun with it... its funny how you can get sidetracked online when following links.

My printer acted fine until 4...then it developed PMS. I fiddled with it for a while and then said, 'Screw it.' I logged off the computer and did some other chores.

Left work around 5:30..rushed home and changed for my dinner date. David, I mean Danny the editor convinced me that another dinner date was in order, since he kept screwing up during the last one. He did better... he only called me his ex-wife's name 2 times. We went to the Outback. Sat close to the bar...and some guys from the old Peckers days were there. They kept coming over to say hi or to ask a question about Al. Which put me in an awkward position..I had to explain who Al was. I didn't want to go into past relationships. There's a time for that... and its not on the second date....I wonder why people do that...ask about your ex, when you're on a date with someone else!!! I have never done that... its like these guys don't think....wait, they have few brain cells left... I keep forgetting that. Anyway, the date or whatever it was went ok. I don't forsee a third one. He's a nice enough guy... I think he needs some time to sort out his break-up..and to be honest, I don't really want to hear about it. Selfish? Maybe.

It's like a friend said recently... I'm used to my my space...I value it. My idea of a perfect relationship is two separate homes. Or if it comes down to one residence... I work on my 'stuff' in one room and he does his 'thing' in another. lol... unless its sex..then its one room.

I'm rambling...

Got my second book emailed to PA. Next I have to get a photo of myself and mail it in. I hope those I acknowledged will be ok with what I wrote. In the back of my mind, I keep wondering if they will realize that the acknowledgments were a way of honoring them...their 15 mins of glory in my eyes. I hope so. It means a lot to me to do it.

And..dammit...I'm getting another sore throat and congestion! Freakin' crazy weather.

Yet Another Sher Mix

1) Butterfly
By Crazy Town
Come my lady..Come come my're my has one of my favorite words in it... multiples lol... love it...

2) In My House
By The Mary Jane Girls
Have to add an Elbo Room dance song!

3) No Parking on the Dance Floor
By Midnight Star
...and yet another Elbo Room dance song!

4) Fly Away!
By Lenny Kravitz
The Orgy Song... I call it that due to the video... all those people grinding together... lol... what an orgy! Leave it to Lenny. know.... I would be right in the midst if I got to grind against him...what a hottie! He's on my top ten list of famous hot men. Time for a cold shower.

5) Tangled Up in Blue
By Bob Dylan
Dave, my old G-ville neighbor played this song every Friday after he got home from work. It signaled the beginning of the weekend...the beginning of the partying.... and I fell in love with Bob every time I heard it. lol

6) Lightning Crashes
By Live
Peckers Sports Bar, Zimas with lime, pool and Bobby ( a friend of mine and Al's) singing along with the juke box.

7) Cover Me
By CandleBox
Another song I rocked the jukebox with at Peckers.

8) Mean Streak
By Y&T
An kick ass Rafters song!

9) Don't Tell Me You Love Me
By Night Ranger motto song.. just kidding... in my first collection I included a Banshee's only fair to include an Amy song...or Ms. Excitement as Jeff called her. She requested this song once at Rafters and had us sing it to some guy who kept telling her he loved her...course it was the beer

10) I'm A Bitch
By Meredith Brooks
Time to break up the testosterone with an angry chick song, which celebrates being a bitch!

11) Hazy Shade of Winter
By the Bangles
This song barely won out over Manic Monday.

12) The First Cut is the Deepest
By Sheryl Crow
I like her version... probably because I can sing along and it sounds ok.

13) Never Been to Spain
By the Three Dog Night
70's baby...groovy band...groovy tune.

14) Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough
By Patti Smyth and Don Henley
The ultimate break-up song

and the end of this mix!

Monday, March 14, 2005

What a Headachy day!

I've had a killer headache all day long...right across my brow! Makes my eyes feel as if they're made of glass!

Been working on a tedious restoration job. The photo is about 50 yrs old and its on textured paper...which makes removing the creases a headache (pun intended). I have to make sure the restored area has the same texture grains as the surrounding area. I've been slaving away at this photo for 5 hours!

Hence the blog break.

I had a very lazy and quiet weekend. Watched some movies, read a little, wrote a little and did the rootbeer twist a lot.

Saw a red-headed woodpecker on my oak tree this morning...and some orioles. Don't see them much. The flowers are waking up. I noticed bloom on the pear trees and tulip trees around town. Also buttercups are popping up left and right. I'm ready for spring...

Been looking at dresses online... and also off... got a wedding to attend in late April/early May... Dave's. His fiancee can't make up her mind. She's getting married at her sister's outdoor wedding. I think a cousin or someone is performing the ceremony--one of those independent ordained minsters. I keep thinking.. hippy wedding. Bad to say but its the image I get when I read the email updates. I should braid ribbon in my hair, wear a peasant top with a flowing skirt and go barefoot.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

March Winds

Man, we've got 'em.

I have no major plans this weekend. In fact, my sinuses are acting up again. Probably due to the weather--its warm one day and then cold the next, etc...and so forth.

I finally straightened out the illicit affair mishap. No Scarlet A for me. Like I told Bonnie...if I did embark upon a dalliance with a married man, I wouldn't do it in public places!!! At least not without a disguise. lol... blonde beehive wig and red lipstick.. and cleavage down to my navel.

It's quiet at work today. I've got some stuff done and am goofing off now.

I've been listening to Thomas Harris' s Red Dragon ...a book on CD every night right before going to sleep. I had forgotten how entertaining a well written book read aloud can be. Now I want to get some more books on CD... to listen to as I relax before sleep.

I love doing searches online...some of the most unique websites popup that have nothing to do with what you're looking for.

Think I'll head off line...have a great weekend.

Thursday, March 10, 2005


Why does it feel like Monday or Tuesday?

I've had a bad day... mainly due to my printer. I wish you could have seen the look I just gave it, which melted the words off the front. One day I'll be able to give Hewlett Packard a piece of my mind... I'm biding my time. Like all Scorpios do.

~ ~ ~

Mom is still at my house. She's got a bad case of the flu. Actually is off until Monday. I hope she'll be well enough to go back to her place in a few days. I know when she leaves, my TV won't work right--its staying on the Hallmark and Lifetime channels while she's here.

She's had a terrible cough the last few days and I encouraged her to take some cough medicine I bought when I was sick last month. She finally gave in and had some. Her face was priceless... the taste is horrible but the medicine works. She kept saying it was the most foulest thing she had ever tasted. That it was worse than that cough medicine she made us take when we were kids.. (Vicks 44 or something like that).

I turned to her and said, "It will make you feel better."

She gave me a 'mom look' and said, "Now you're quoting me."

Can we say poetic justice? lol I remember her pouring that nasty cough medicine down our throats.

~ ~ ~ ~

It seems a friend of my fair-weather friend Bonnie saw me at dinner with David..I mean Danny the editor. I guess not everyone knows he and his wife are separated and considering a divorce. I didn't see the girl and to be honest, I don't know many of Bon's friends. So if I did see her, I probably didn't place her. But she knew me...and Danny. She called Bonnie and naturally Bonnie called me. She can't believe I am having a 'solicited' affair...took me a while to realize she meant 'illicit'... I pretended to be insulted by her saying I was soliciting dates as if I were a hooker. lol.. always fun to fuck with her head.

She didn't believe me when I said it was an innocent dinner date, discussing my poetry book. For the third time, she asked me when did I write a poetry book. It's funny how some people are so wrapped up in their own warped world...yea I guess we all are to an extend but I like to think I know what's going on around me.

To think she actually admires me for 'seeing a married man.' I adamantly denied the affair...but that didn't stop her from hitting the gossip circuit. I've gotten a few calls from concerned friends, who think I shouldn't see a married man...that it could hurt my oh man... such a mess... one person telling the wrong person and ...boom..rumors are bountiful.

Hey... where's my Scarlet A? I wonder if its available in other colors?

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Recent Fantasy

For the last few weeks, I've been fantazing about a 3some.. me, a chick and a guy. Its the only thing that's been pulling my orgasmic trigger.

I think I'll write a story about it here.

Because I was chatting with Jo about diversions... she suggested Tenderloin lol
and our conversation bended towards older men and

I don't know... I'm so selective now... in my golden olden age of 42. I prefer quality instead of quantity...and the quest for the perfect orgasm... you know... I like a quest. lol

Sher Update

Things at home have settled down a bit. Mom's got the flue and I won't let her go to her house. She's staying at mine until she's stronger. Course its about to kill her not to be able to do things like cleaning the floor with a toothbrush, scrubbing the ceiling with a cotton know, things clean-oholics tend to do.

My brother is finally calm after his scare this weekend. We're still screening calls. I gave him some suggestions on how to get rid of the if he calls again and starts his abuse to say, "Operater this is the person who's harassing us." and if that doesn't work...take one of the whistles the boys have and blow it as loud as he can... and continue to do so each time he calls.

There are ways to deal with situations. Resulting to guns and being afraid in your own house are the last ones I would choose.

Went on my dinner date last night with Danny, the editor. Went well...until he called me his estranged wife's name 3 times. I didn't say nothing. Kept eating and making small talk... and when it was time to say good night... I called him David. (evil grin)

There are errors... and there are fatal errors. I can understand one slip..but 3.... I guess I could blame his confusion on the v-neck sweater I wore and my cleavage...after all my cleavage has made greater men stumble. lol

But on a more serious note, he's a nice guy. Very friendly, very complimentary and very polite. I felt no sparks... no curiousity to kiss him enough to bring on an erection, so I can feel how hard it gets pressed against me...

He asked if I would do dinner again soon. I may go... I think he needs the experience of dating and getting his sea legs. But I don't see anything else developing. I'm not disappointed.. I keep remembering what Dan said about rebounders...and I think he's right.

Book Cover options

For my second poetry book, Saturn and Satin...I created two different colors of the image I want to use. A transparency of Saturn over a photo of Satin. I chose 5 people ( Lorraine, Jeff, JS, Jo and Steve) off my email list whose wisdom I trust. Below is the email I sent to them as a group and their replies.

From Me:

hey... do me a favor and scope out the two images I created today for the cover. Let me know which you like the best...pretty please...

I'm giving out door prizes to the first 50 people.

I think I'm partial to the blue.~S

~ ~ ~
The replies in order of arrival:

Lorraine: I like the blue color, but I like the angle on the pink pic better. I know, I know...leave it to me to be the "difficult" one lol.

Jeff: definitley the blue one

Jo: The pink seems to be a stronger image.... i do like the blue but for shelf appeal i would choose the pink... might be an idea to see what its like with the text over it..that will give a different view altogether....what about using both.... one front one back... just an idea.

Steve: I think I like the reddish cover better. The blue one seems cold.~Steve, art critic

JS: I like the blue, but blue is my favorite color, so my vote may be tainted....waaaaaiiit a minute. there are only 5 people on the I have to be one of the first 50 people. While I feel slightly tricked, I won't complain if the door prize involves a blow job.

~ ~ ~ ~
Maybe I should go with lavender!!!!!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

The Detour

“It’s time for the Morning Brunch. Taking requests at 555-5555.” The Deejay sounded garbled through the front speaker of my car. I’ve got to get that fixed. It’s on the list of things that I’ll never do. Maybe I should call in and request that he fix my speaker. I was late as usual and encountering detours. An hour before, torrential rain and wind had struck the area, causing trees to uproot and fall over power lines. Instead of being my usual late self, I’ll be the superhero of lateness. Thank you, Mr. Storm. My boss would disagree if he heard that comment. According to him, storms are definitely feminine, due to their passion and destruction. No doubt his opinion is based on the three divorces he’s had and their destruction on his bank account.

When I came to the fourth street blocked by utility trucks and workers struggling to get a tree off the road, I decided it was time to take the shortcut. Normally I avoided it because it took me through the Bottoms, a bad area of town that drew trouble to it like a magnet does a paperclip. But as I drove past the shacks and rundown homes, I didn’t see a soul stirring. Accustomed to approaching storms, maybe they were still inside waiting for another to pass.

On the outskirts of the Bottoms was an illegal dump area for mattresses, raggedy furniture and non-descript trash bags, which spilled their contents in spite of the manufacturers’ promise of strength. City officials ignored it because it wasn’t marring the beauty of the Upper side, the rich area of town. I was almost on top of the dog standing at attention in the middle of the road, before I saw it. My tires screeched as I pressed the brake petal. The smell of burning rubber almost masked the odor of the dump.

“What the hell? Get out of the damn road, you stupid mutt.” I shouted unladylike, feeling a vein pulse at my left temple. The dog ignored me. I looked to see what held its attention with such intensity.

The dump area was shrouded with oak and pine trees. The sun could barely get through the canopy of entwined limbs, causing deep shadows that stared back at me. But there was a patch of sunlight that had miraculously found a trapdoor through the treetops. It bathed the ground in golden green, giving life to the grass that rarely saw light. In the center of the halo of sunlight stood a woman with her back to the road. Not exactly what I expected to see. I figured the dog was looking at some deer or other wildlife, not a woman of mystery.

She was a drastic contrast to the discarded trash that littered the ground. Her long curly hair was bathed in a red gold light, giving sheen that made it look alive. She wore an expensive cut leather jacket and form-fitting black pants that were tucked inside elegant black leather boots. Her motionless was surreal and I thought for a moment I was having hallucinations. Until she slowly turn her head to look over her shoulder. A breeze stirred her hair, electrifying it. The strands were pointy fingers, exposing the voyeurism of the canine and I.

The hair on my arms and at the nape of my neck stood on end. A hollow pitched whine emitted from the dog, as it turned and ran towards the woods on the other side of the road. I stomped the gas. Fear drove me to speed away before her eyes were revealed. If they touched me in anyway, I knew I would die. My primal instincts whined as loudly as the dog’s. I just had better control of them. Somehow I made it to work without incident. How I got through the day, I do not know.

A few days later, I was stuck in the after five traffic. I listened with irony at the traffic report from the radio, warning about a fatal traffic accident that had traffic backed up for miles. I was in the midst of it. The cars crept along, slowly enough for Gawkers to get a glimpse of the twisted metal and the ground tinted dark with blood. A small crowd gathered close by the wreckage. As I inched by, I caught sight of curly hair framed with red gold light. A leather-clad arm was visible. My impulse was to slam down on the gas, but I fought it. There were enough fatalities for one day.

I kept my eyes on the car in front of me. My breaths came and went in shallow gasps. When I cleared the traffic jam and was a safe distance away, I pulled into the parking lot of a convenient store. My white knuckles were stiff from clutching the steering wheel. Who was this woman and why did she frighten me enough to want a cigarette?

Now was the time to break my six months of abstinence from smoking. If I didn’t deserve to smoke one, I don’t know how did. A huge sign on the window facing me of the store proclaimed that my favorite brand was on sale. Maybe it was my lucky day after all. There was a short line in the store. My mind was still on the traffic scene that I had driven by. It was as if no one in the crowd standing close to the woman was aware she was there. Musing over this I missed part of the conversation around me.

“…that body over at the Bottoms is a big mystery. No one knows who cut the man and left him to die. How he got there is weird! No car tracks were found. My brother knows a detective and he told him that the man’s face was at peace, almost as if he were dreaming. It was a gut wound. I hear those kind are agony.” A woman spoke in hushed tones to a man in front of her.

He replied, “The man was from the Upper side. A big wig with the bank. Probably robbed by some delinquents and left for dead. He was reported missing about 3 days ago. Did you hear about the auto accident that just happened? Four dead. Some guy didn’t stop on red.”

The woman looked at me and said, “Honey, you can go ahead of us. We’re catching up on the local gossip.” I smiled and stepped around them to the counter.

“Marathon Lights, please. And a pack of matches.” I tossed some dollars on the counter and grabbed the cigarette pack.

I turned from the counter with the cigarettes in my hand, to find the gossiping woman staring at me. “Those are going to be the death of you, honey.”

I pretended not to hear. As I put the pack in my coat pocket, both doors of the store burst open. Several people in ski masks and armed with guns entered. Yelling at us to get down.

“She’s got a gun.”

I didn’t hear the gunfire, nor did I feel the bullets tear into my flesh. My eyes were on the red gold light of the woman I was becoming accustomed to seeing. She must have come in with the robbers. No one else noticed her. This time I felt no fear because to my joy, her eyes weren’t frightening. They were moist from tears. Tears for me. She reached for my hand. I wasn’t afraid of the Angel of Death. I felt peace. Even the fact the gossipy woman’s prediction was right didn’t bother me. Cigarettes did turn out to be the death of me.

~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~
This morning we had torrenial rain and wind gusts at 70 MPH. Caused lots of damage...fallen trees, etc. I had to detour through a bad section of town. I did see a girl standing in the center of a dump area--she looked just as I described her... I wondered what she was doing there. She was so out of place...

and thus a story was born.

Monday, March 07, 2005

A Test for Monday

Don't read my results until you take the test.

The Monday Morning Test Results(better than any IQ test)

Your Score: 10 out of 11
Your Rating: Wow! Come to work for us!
Now Here's the Twist;
Your answers not only can tell your current intelligence,
but the combination can also forcast your upcoming love life:

Your Projected Love Life: Your love life is mediocre ..HA so Fucking True!

Remember you must pass this page on to at least 5 people.
0-4 People: We know you have no friends, don't look for anything good in your life
5-10: Your life will take a sudden turn for good in the next 2 weeks
11-20: Your love life now multiplied by your score
20 or more: Your life is guaranteed to get much better in the next week or less!
The Answers
Is there a Fourth of July in England?
Yes, it comes after the third of July!

How many birthdays does the average man have?
1 Just one!

Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
12, all of them!

How many outs are there in an inning?
6, three per side!

Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
No - because he is dead!

Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
70, (30 divided by 1/2 equals 60! Takes some thinking.....

If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
2, you took them, remember?

A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour.
How many minutes would the pills last? 60 Start with the 1st pill, 30 minutes later take the 2nd, then 30 minutes for the 3rd. (MISSED THIS ONE)

A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?

How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
0. Moses didn't have an ark, Noah did!

How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
12. There are 12, 2 cent stamps in a dozen!

Nightmares and Daymares

Mom's boyfriend is out of town tonight. So she's here...along with the nephews. She's not feeling well...I told her I suspect she's got a touch of a virus...fevered with chills, headachy. She's are the boys.

I had a nightmare Saturday night...I dreamt I arrived home from my trip and my brother was outside, talking to a ton of policemen. My brother has cerebral palsy...he walks on crutches. Instead of having one of his crutches under his arm, he was leaning on a shotgun! I asked why the police were there and he said someone had broken into the house 13 times while I was gone. I asked if they had taken anything...he said, "No, they just looked around." Weird dream. It was 2:30 am. That's when the Hissy cat started her hissing attacks.

When I got home yesterday, the house was locked up tight. All the shades drawn. My brother was in the computer room. He informed me that from now on we're screening calls. I asked why. Here's the story he told... now mind you, I'm not racial. Nor is he. But we live in the south and there is a big distinction between the linguistics of the races around here.

Every Saturday for the last few weeks or so, a black guy has been calling asking for our mom. John assumed it was a telemarketer or a charity worker. When the guy would ask for mom, John would tell him she wasn't here and hang up. A week and a half ago, I started getting calls in the morning and at night--people asking for my mom. I got tired of telling them she was either at work or not at home. I decided to ask who was calling and find out if they were legit or time wasters. They were charity donation seekers. I told them we gave locally and they have stopped calling. So when this call called Sat, he decided to take a message so he could find out what he was calling about.

John told him mom wasn't home and could he take a message... the guy said, "Yeah, Dawg. Tell her, her bo'friend called."

John knew mom didn't have a black boyfriend and figured it was a dumbass. Not thinking of the possible consequences he said, "What the FUCK ever!" Then hung up.

A minute later the phone rings, he answers it. It's the black guy. He said, "Nigga, don't be disrespecting me. Never hang up on me, bitch. I'll cut your balls off. I know where you live." Then he said our address.

My brother didn't say anything. He silently listened, waiting to see what else the guy had to say, before commenting. But the dude mistook John's silence as having hung up the phone. In the background, John could hear laughter and the guy saying, "Yo, that nigga hung up on me again." Then he hung the phone up. John dialed call return but it didn't give a number.

A few mins later, the phone started ringing again... John didn't answer. Once the ringing stopped he dialed call return and got the 'this number cannot be traced" message. So began John's weekend of phone ringing.

It scared John, though he won't admit it. He called Mom and asked where she kept her gun! I didn't realize we had a gun here. Mom and John (her beau) came over and stayed with John for a while. Until he calmed down. Mom got the gun out though. A 22 calibur...small handgun. She showed John how to use it. Now if I had been home... this would have been handled differently!

My mom's John gave my brother lectures on how to talk to people. I guess he thought John had instigated it. But like John said...the guy insulted his mother by saying he was her boyfriend...and there is no telling what he would have said to Mom. I imagine something totally obscene. John hung up on him...and the guy gets pissed at John!!! That's what gets him the most and the fact he knows our address.

I suspect its some teens that live in the neighborhood. For a while Mom had some wood decoration with her last name and our street address on it. All someone has to do is look for the last name and the address in the phone book and find the number. Since he calls only on Saturdays, I'm assuming its kids hanging out, bored and making prank calls.

In today's world you can't assume, its innocent fun.

Mom's John informed my brother that the handgun was a small one... that a 22 won't do much damage or kill a person. It probably would make them mad enough to kill him. My brother's reply: "If I shoot them 6 times, I'm sure one of the hits will be fatal or disabling."

When I heard all this...I was more concerned about John feeling threatened in his own home than I was about him shooting anyone. But now...

As Mom and I made supper for the boys, Mom whispered, "That guy calling scared John. He was distraught when he called me. I made John come with me to check on him. We stayed until his voice didn't shake anymore. Today he heard someone on the front porch, knocking the porch swing into the side of the house. He heard voices but couldn't get to the window quick enough to see who it was."

I said, "Mom. An adult wouldn't do something like that in broad daylight. I bet its some of the kids in the neighborhood. I'll ask Mr. Rudy to keep an eye out when he's home. (Mr. Rudy lives across the street.)"

I tried to bring the gun into the conversation but Mom wouldn't hear it. She's always had a gun (I didn't know this either) and it stays here. Its not where the boys can get it. If I hadn't found it in the 7 years I've stayed in the house, neither will they.

I'm concerned. Mainly because my brother is scared and people who are scared are more prone to have accidents that people in control.

What to do.. what to fucking do!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Sold 4 poetry books my ex-fiance's mom... She wanted them signed too. Talk about digging deep and writing fiction!!! I'm officially a pro.


The Voice on the Air, Dining Halls and Tours

I was wide awake at I put on my earphones to the CD player and turned it to the radio portion. I kept trolling the airwaves, looking for a cool song when at 7 ish, I heard Jeff's voice. It was his Sunday current affairs type of show for Eastern NC. His guest was a lady from the Ronald McDonald house. I was impressed by his professionalism and the questions he asked. She answered them in a friendly informative voice that kept my attention. The 15 mins flew by and I had to smile at the end when Jeff mentioned Ronald McDonald visiting. I liked the little personal touch he gave her, by mentioning that her son was on the ECU baseball team.

I got up when I heard Joyce and Ron stirring. Would you believe that they have TiVo and made me watch the Amazing Race show that comes on Tuesday nights... it was the first one of the 7th series and 2 hours long... thank heavens for coffee... because its what kept me awake during it.

At 10, we went to the hospital to visit her mom who had surgery Thurs to remove cancer. I was surprised at how well she was doing. She didn't look as if she had undergone massive surgery. We stayed for an hour and then went to have brunch at the ECU dining hall. Joyce is one of the head people there and we amazingly had a great meal. I asked why didn't we have food as good as this when we were in school in the 80's. She said because she wasn't in charge. lol

I left around 1... they had plans for the afternoon. I decided to drop in on Liv who lives in Wilson and see if she wanted to shop the outlet malls in Smithfield... which was on the way home. She did! I bought some jeans and a couple of summer tops...also got a sequined bra to wear with some harem pants that are sheer and glimmery. After shopping, Liv and I parted.

Since I was going through Benson, I decided to visit my great-aunt and uncle. Both are in their late 80's and ailing. They were happy to see me. My aunt asked if I had been sick because I looked too frail. She's the frail one. It was a nice visit. We looked at old photos.

Didnt' get home until 7 pm and I was exhausted.

Dueling Pianos, Tender Loin and... Hissing

(Sorry... keep getting visitors today)

Got to Joyce's house around 5:30. We hung out until around 7 ish. Her husband, Ron was there too. The last few visits I've made, he hasn't been around much. I had forgotten that he's an "Alpha Male" with all the frosting that goes with that-- homophobic, know-it-all and smartassedness (bet spell check would go wild over that word.). Hell, he's like my Dad...and I can deal with him.

The place they chose to take me was a new place in G-ville. In fact it used to be one of our favorite spots to play pool at back in the late 80's... the Sports Pad. Now its a Caribbean style restaurant that has dueling pianos.... the food was excellent. I got the San Juan reminded me of the Cruise to the Bahamas I took in early 99. Joyce and Ron knew the owner, Pete. He gave us VIP treatment--the best seat in the house and our bar tab was on him. J and I had cosmopolitanism... Ron had bourbon and coke. I had a slight buzz once we were done.

Joyce told our waiter I was a published poet, which impressed him. While Ron was in the men's room, Joyce dared me to write a poem to the cute waiter. I kept a copy of it:

"Under a waning moon,
his lips caress me
like fingers over ivory keys,
softly playing my song.
I blush rose,
he kissses the bloom
in the midst of music,
we perform a duet
of skin on skin."

Needless to say... he blushed rose... lol... and asked where he could get a copy of my book. I wrote the Publish America info down for him. Joyce was like... "Dummy, give him your #." I laughed my ass off...I said, "Joyce! He's all of 22 and technically a Tender Loin. I can't do the Graduate as well at the original." lol

But then the piano show started and the crowd suddenly grew wild. It was an exhilerating show...lots of music and funny antics. I LOVED IT....We watched the dueling for a while until some guy kept bumping into Joyce. When that happened Ron decided it was time to go. We made a pitstop at an ice cream in by 11.

I'm not used to going to bed so early on a weekend night. I was pumped and not sleepy. But they were and so we retired. Luckily I brought my CD player with the AM/FM radio. I listened to the "Red Dragon" book on CD until I fell asleep.

They have 3 cats. One is 15 and hates people. It hisses at you. The second cat hates it when doors are shut all the way. He attacks the doors. And the last cat is declawed because it climbs walls. The room they put me in was the bedroom the Hissy cat likes to sleep in. It kept waking me up... hissing at me from the foot of the bed. Man, its breath stunk! I kicked the covers and it would leave for a while. I think it woke me up at least 5 times..Eventually, I hissed back. I think it wasn't prepared for that because it left me alone... at 6:45 am.

The First Leg of the Trip

heh heh.. I should say the first bone of the trip!

The trip up and over to G-ville was smooth. Ran into some rain but otherwise smooth sailing. I called Darin, when I was 45 mins away and we made plans to meet at Ham's brew house/restuarant, in downtown.

Brief history on Darin. We dated on and off from 86 to 88. He broke my heart in the summer of 88. I told him one day he would regret it. It was in 95 that I got a phone call from him. He had been looking for me for a year, even had a private eye searching. At the time I was dating Al and told him I wasn't available. But if he were ever in the neighborhood to drop was always good to see a friend. He came to see me one Sat a few months later. It was a good visit. We put closure to a lot of hurt feelings. I realized I had none left for him. I think he realized he still had some for me. We lost contact after that visit. Then...about 2 years ago, I joined the site. He had joined it but I didn't know it. One day a month or two later, he left an email for me there...saying "If this is the same Sherrie that went to ECU and roomed with Nurse Jeri, please reply. It's Chachi."

Chachi was the nickname I gave him when we first met. Dont' know why...I was kinda drunk.

So I replied and we've kept in contact somewhat. He had a huge heart attack last year. When I knew him he was a stick--thin and a good wind would blow him away. He's pushing 300 lbs now. I was blown away. No wonder he had a heart attack. On a not so funny note, every time he laughed or moved, his stomach pushed the table into me. Ok, it was funny... he made jokes about it.

We had a light lunch. He paid for it and I gave him a signed book. We talked about a lot of things. He kept saying I look the best I've ever looked. That he couldn't get over how wonderful I looked. That I've always amazed him. Now he regrets that I got away.

I don't. Its not his weight. I'm not the same girl I was back in the golden days of the 80's. I'm a woman now--I know who I am. He remarked that there was a serenity about me that I didn't have the last time he saw me in the 90's. He said I was calm and laid-back. I am, I guess.

And Darin... well, he's still a good guy and the same guy that he was years ago. It was nice seeing him and when we said good-bye a few hours later, I didn't look back as I drove away.

After that I drove over to Dave's house. He and his fiancee are getting married sometime in April... towards the end I think. An outside wedding at her sister's house. I gave him a book. His fiancee took it and read a few of them. She suddenly exclaimed, "Oh MY GOD.. you HAVE to write a POEM for our WEDDING and READ it. Listen to this honey..." then proceeded to read excerpts of my poems. I don't know why but I was uncomfortable hearing someone read my poems... especially in the way she read them... verses running timed pauses for effect.

I couldn't say no. Mainly because I couldn't think of an excuse not to do it. I made the visit as brief. No Tarot readings this time. The Bride said she would call me this week to talk about the poem and what she wanted me to wear. I left there and went to Joyce's house...


Is Firstly a word?

Before I go into posting about the weekend I thought I would write about today.
I took Saturday off. Mind you, its only half a day but still... when I came in today,
the only word that comes to mind is.. Chaos!

My desk and the computer had cigarette ashes on them. Dad tends to smoke more when I'm not around. There were strange icons on the desktop. Did spy/malware scans and.. found a bunch of stuff on the computer. He didn't do the framing that I requested. Two of my customers had left messages for me to call. Their orders were promised out for Sat. I got them ready and even told Dad where they were. When they called about them Sat, he didnt' bother looking on the ready list...he told them I didn't have them ready and to check back Monday.

So they called and they were both upset with me. I informed them the orders were ready...that Dad either forgot that I told him they were ready or he couldn't find them. And in both cases...they told me never to leave him alone again.

I love my Dad but he's gotten in the habit of relying on me too much.

I sorted it all out. He's gone to F-ville to get film for a school shoot tomorrow.

A good friend of ours came by for about an hour. His name is Bobby. He's a principal of a private school. Has been in Iraq for a year. Just got back home. I was happy to see him. He's a good guy. Dad told him about my book and he wanted to see it. He was very impressed. Sat and read a few of the poems. Told me he liked poetry and was going to order one of the books. I tried to give him one but he wouldn't take it. Said he wanted to help me out with the sales. Like I said..he's a good guy.

Something happened at home while I was gone that upset my brother. I'll cover that in a separate post.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

I have returned!

What a weekend! I'm glad to be home though.
I'll have to write later..I'm exhausted from not sleeping much last night and for driving... feels like my hand is still attached to the steering wheel.

But I'll leave hints:

Smart Ass
Cafe Caribe
Hot Young Tenderloin
Dining Hall
Old Folks
and ice cream


Thursday, March 03, 2005

I'm all for the G-Spot

An article from the Adult Toy Chest newsletter:

What is the G-Spot?

What is the G-Spot?The G-Spot is a sexually sensitive area about the size of a dime located on the front wall of the vagina, about two or three inches in from the vaginal opening, midway between the public bone and the cervix. In a recent study the G-spot was found in every women examined, so most likely your girlfriend has one. When stroked, the G-spot can swell to the size of quarter and provoke a powerful orgasm that is often accompanied by a burst of fluid. This burst of fluid is commonly referred to as female ejaculation, or squirting.

Preparing to Find the G-Spot

Now let's talk about finding your girlfriend's G-Spot. First remember that this is supposed to be fun. Relax. Just begin with a little exploration. Ask your partner to give you feedback. If she finds talking about it embarrassing, ask her direct yes or no questions.

Many women have stopped just short of discovering the pleasures of their G-Spot because during stimulation they felt the urge to urinate. Assure your girlfriend that feeling the urge to urinate during G-Spot stimulation is normal and not at all uncommon. This feeling passes, so just stay with it. Having her void her bladder before you begin should help alleviate some of her concerns, and placing a towel underneath her will help as well. Most importantly, let her know that you are comfortable and perfectly OK with whatever happens. This gives her the freedom to feel comfortable as well.

Finding the G-Spot

Begin by using two fingers, palm up, pressing the upper front wall of her vagina, applying firm upward pressure. Your fingers should be directed toward the bellybutton. The vaginal walls are very slick and smooth, and you will be looking for an area that has a coarser texture than the rest of the slick vaginal wall. At first, this area may be approximately the size of a dime, but during stimulation it may swell to the size of up to a quarter. Size varies among women and does not correlate with the size of other body parts. Keep in mind that you are looking for a change in texture more than a palpable protrusion.

Stimulating the G-Spot

Since I have very little "hands-on" experience, I consulted with my favorite G-Spot expert, Master Dragon. He advised the following:

"Once you find the G-Spot, experiment with pressure. Unlike the clitoris, the G-Spot often requires very firm to downright strong pressure. I have found that most women enjoy a firm circular motion. Imagine circling the rim of a quarter. It has been my experience that aproximately.65-70% of women can cum with G-Spot stimulation alone, but why waste a free hand? Clit stimulation is always a plus.

You should also know that some women ejaculate a clear fluid during orgasm, during or following G-Spot stimulation. Be sure that you make your girlfriend aware of this. Many women suffer embarrassment needlessly because they think that they have urinated, when in reality they have just had their first experience with female ejaculation. Now, as a Dominant, I understand the temptation to engage in a little humiliation play and not tell her, but for her first time I highly discourage it. Not only could this ruin what might possibly be the most intense orgasm of her life, but a bad first experience can be hard (if not impossible) to recover from. Back to Raven for the woman's perspective."

Fail proof G-Spot Location

If you are still experiencing difficulty finding or reaching the G-Spot using your fingers, there are a number of excellent toys that are specially designed for locating and stimulating the G-Spot. They are designed with a specific angle meant to make finding that elusive spot easy, and some vibrate for addition sensation. There are also instructional books and videos that can assist you. Raven's personal recommendation is that when you find her G-Spot, add some of these toys to your repertoire so you have even more ways to enjoy your new found discovery.
Always Yours,

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Big Sun Little Wind

That sounds like a cool name for a novel.

Its not so windy today..and the sun is big and shiny.

I'm cheating. Pasting excerpts from emails sent for my sorry it's that kinda day!

William's kinder class is having a Dr. Seuss day today. He had to wear my Dr. Seuss hat (my sister said my crazy collection of 'stuff' is coming in handy--I'm officially labeled as a gypsy in my family) and he had to take some Dr. Seuss books to school.

Got an email from Sam last night. He seems to be doing better (his mom died two weeks ago). He told me that he's been reading my poetry book and thinks he should do a real book. I told him that last year. But he wants to include James O'Barr, the Crow creator. I think he is going to check into a few other places that do actually publishing. The good thing about Publish America is that it doesn't cost anything and they assign an ISBN # for free. I still have to send two copies of mine along with $35 to the copyright department and register it.

I got my first royalty check for my book sales (the ones I buy with my author discount don't count)... $16.74... 8% on 15 books. I wonder who bought them!!!! In another 100 yrs I'll be rich.

Wrote a Haiku for Jeff Diamond..famous Radio personality. I still have my haiku touch .

voice dancing in air~
a finely chiseled diamond
you, radio man

Talked to my friend Joyce. Her mother is in the hospital having cancer masses removed. I plan to spend most of my visit to G-ville this weekend with Joyce. Her mother wants to see me. In college, Joyce's parents adopted me and I spent much time with them. I shouldn't have let time go by like I have.

An editor for one of the smaller newspapers came in yesterday to talk to Dad. I showed him my book. He shocked me with "I'll run a story on it, if you have dinner with me next week." I didn't know what to say. I thought he was married. Stunned I remained quiet, letting him fill the silence. He said, "My wife and I are divorcing. And to be honest, you amaze me. I want to find out more about you." Dad came in at that time and I didn't answer him. Before he left he discreetly handed me his card with his cell # written on it.

I asked j s if that wasn't blackmail. He said no...that if I suck the guy's cock and he takes pictures that's blackmail. Or I can take pictures of him while a #$% fucks his ass and pretty much get anything I want. LMAO at j s... he's too funny.

But the editor..his name is Danny...He's attractive...late 40's with two boys over 10. Has a sense of humor. I keep wanting to sing "Danny Boy." Maybe I'll get some Irish in me this St. Paddy day. LMAO

But seriously, I may go to dinner with him. That's all just dinner. I do know that he will need time and space to work out his feelings over the divorce and to find joy in his freedom. Dan, my deceased friend would warn me about men on the 'rebound' if he were here. I'm not looking for anything serious... I do know this...I may amaze Danny already...but he has much to prove to me.

I've had handy men working on the house this week and haven't been online in the morning for long. Got a new toliet. My feet barely touch the floor. Al Bundy (from Married with Children) would be proud.

Today is yahoo's 10th anniversary. They're giving away free ice cream. Better grab a scoop.

Have a great afternoon.

PS...Read chapter 1 of my novel. There's a test tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Welcome March

We've got sunshine today. Its Windy and yep...March is here. I can't believe how fast the last two months have gone by. Well, I should believe it...that's how the last 10 years have flown.

I'm feeling like me now. No more bad congestion or pressure in my chest when I lay down at night. I'm sleeping better.

Someone asked about Tarot readings... and reversals... I used to read Tarot reversals. But now, I figure there are enough upright cards that shout woe and if there is a message or warning needed, they'll find a way to give it to me. But if a reversal shows up, I look closely at it.

I'm printing pictures of a baby in a yellow jumper. He's so cute. Black eyes and hair, olive skin. He's of Hispanic decent. I think I could steal his sugar all day.

William and I did his homework yesterday. He had smiley faces on all his in-school work. When I kissed his head and said, "Aunt Sherrie is so proud of her William," you would have thought he had won the lottery. His beaming smile is in my heart today.

You know, life really isn't so bad. I've got a good family--even if they drive me nuts, some great friends-offline and on... and the ability to create art in colors and in words. I'm thankful for that.

I guess that's enough for now. I hope your day is nice and balmy.


I kept the nephews for a while last night. Lisa's washing machine broke over the weekend and someone was coming over to fix it. She felt the boys would be in the way, trying to help. So we made grilled cheese sandwiches, ate ice cream for dessert and watched Shrek.


How many times have I seen Shrek in the last week? at least 10 times.

Has William and Ben memorized it? Hell yes.

William can even do their voices. His favorite part is when the blue bird blows up.

And Ben... he loves the tag-team action at the castle when Shrek and Donkey fight the knights.

Me? I love the ending when they sing and dance, because William and Ben do too and they crack me up.

After they left, I found myself still watching the movie and I wondered if somehow I had been hypnotized. Or maybe subliminal messaging...

Whatever the cause...I do know this... as I got ready for work today I found myself looking for green stuff to wear.

Maybe I need an intervention...if you decide to give me one... please don't wear green.

Green-vegas Bound...

I'm psyched about my G-ville trip. It looks like I'll get there early afternoon and meet my old pal Darin for a late lunch. He had a heart attack last year--he's my age. He lives in a town close by G-ville and works at the QVC warehouse in Rocky M. He works Sundays. I haven't seen him in ten years. We've keep in touch. Used to write but now with email and yahoo messenger, we go the easy route. My flavor of humor zooms over his head. It usually takes him 10 to 15 minutes before what I say sinks in. For his sake, we're just doing a late lunch. I don't think he can handle much more.

After that, I'm going over to Dave's. He is engaged and his fiancee` wants me to do some Tarot readings. I warned Dave that I've been dead on the money with my last few readings, and maybe she should rethink me doing some for her. In fact, I was so dead on, I refuse to do one for myself now. Anyway, we're hanging out at their house for a while.

I'm thinking of getting a hotel room, because they smoke at his house and I'm not sure I can hang there all night long. My lungs aren't 100% yet and I can see me getting a serious sinus headache.

Sunday is for Joyce. We're still trying to figure out what to do and what time to do it. Her parents fly in from Florida at 4. Knowing Joyce, we won't firm anything up until Thursday or Friday.

I'll probably try to visit a few other people while I'm there. My brother won't be home Sunday. So I won't have to rush back and tend to him.

I do know one will be nice to get away for a while.