Friday, August 31, 2007

An Ode...

Ode to the Penis

Written in 1985

Oh sweet pleasure machine
you hardly are ever seen
packed inside a pair of tight jeans.
Though you don't look too lean,
if ever deprived I would turn quite mean;
rant and rave like an upset teen.

Oh heavenly member
I dearly do remember
all the passionate times
you were never limber
all hot and ready like a glowing ember.

Oh handsome prick
the one I'll always pick
to love, kiss and lick.
Who cares if your on Tom, Harry or Dick
as long as you're able
to give me a first-rate stick.
No other part of the anatomy
could bestow such a great kick.

Oh glorious cherry taker,
you create me a virtue forsaker.
I'll never be an orgasmic faker
cause of your assorted techniques,
you estacy maker.

Oh Blessed God,
Let my lovers all have a fine bod
with a hot loaded wad,
nothing antique but completely mod
with variated techniques
both standard and odd.

(I swear there should be a law against horny co-eds writing poetry
while drunk)

Thursday, August 30, 2007


I spent part of last night cleaning out my closet...again. Why is it so easy to stuff junk in there? I counted my pairs of flip flops and was shocked at the number: 27! Is there a FFA? (Flip Flops Anonymous)

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


It's 1:45 pm and I can still taste your lust on my face;
the scent of copper and musk.
Mornings are the best time to feast on the sins of passion,
the tangy flavor of our mortal souls battling our desires.
There is little time for inhibitons that shiver in fear
of consuming fire ignited by our heat.
After we're spent, and morning light bathes us,
we'll find time to remember that daily life has arrived.
Somehow we'll survive it, because we have the taste of us
lingering, heavenly on our lips; passion's kiss burnt there.

A Great day so far...

I slept through the night without waking up for the first time in over a week. Don't have as much congestion as I did. I actually was in bed rather early last night. No Sudoku puzzles either.

Came to work early today because I thought I had missed a deadline. But I was ahead of the game and had already printed the order. So I did some stuff I needed for tomorrow and am ahead of my game. So I did some cleaning out of old files I don't need anymore and burned some I wanted saved to CDs.

But the best spot of my day was the moments I got to spend chatting with J. Always a smile there and I thank God for his friendship. He's one in a Million!


My squirmle couldn't drive a car. What's up with that?

I've got hidden meters on all my magazine pages. This month alone there have been over 100 hits on the squirmle article from the March 06 issue. Hmmm...does this mean there's a revival on the way? Or an invasion of sorts?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

To You whom Keeps Mom in your Wallet

Dear Person of Sentimentality,

I realize that you love your special someones and have a compulsive need to keep them near to you in form of a photograph stuffed tightly in your wallet. If you are a man, you keep them close to what is dearest--the back pocket of your trousers. As a photographic restoration artist, I must inform you that placing your prized photograph in your wallet and sitting on it for most of the day isn't the best place for it. Are you aware that it is rubbing against other bits of papers and photos? This creates stress on your photo and damage that is irreversible? When deep creases are created and chunks of paper become missing, it is very costly to repair. And if the damage is severe (especially after 30 years of sitting on the photo), sometimes it is impossible to repair.

Ladies who stuff their prized photos in their wallets along with coupons, phone numbers and receipts aren't as prone to having their photos damages as men are who sit on their photos. But the risk is there as well.

Take some advice. Stop what you're doing. Reach into your wallet and check the photos you find there. Are they beginning to lose their lustre? If so take them out as soon as you get home. Go out and buy a non-adhesvie photo album and place said prized photo into it.

If there is minor or major damage to the photo, take it to the nearest photography studio or lab that offers restoration to photographs. The sooner it's repaired will increase the life of your cherished photo.

Believe me, in the end it will be worth it. Just ask the thousands of customers I've helped.

Robo Cough

I'm not sure which is the best: coughing up gunk or blowing it out. Seems my head congestion has decided to find a new home... my chest. I woke up coughing early this morning. I guess the reward of the lunar eclipse was worth it. But when I tried to get back to sleep, my cough kept me up.

So I'm a bit tired today. When I got to work, I had just finished putting out the cashbox and checking messages, when a huge cough struck me so hard that the muscles across my chest and stomach, my arms to my fingers and down my legs burned so horribly from the strain/force of the cough that tears rolled down my eyes and I fell into a chair I was luckily standing beside. I don't think I've ever had such a violent cough in all my life. It took about 5 minutes to recover and I can still feel the effects in my fingers as I type and the cough was an hour and 15 minutes ago.

It would benefit me to move away from here. I realize that the swamps are no place to live near. The ocean would be idea or maybe the mountains. If I had the choice, it would be the beach area. I am not much of a hillbilly.

Monday, August 27, 2007


A printing company offerred me a free T with my company info, etc on it. I had to pay shipping but that's no biggie. I decided to do a T promoting my art and my webiste. Here's a preview of it. If it looks good in person, I will probably order a few of them. Their price on printed T-shirts is reasonable. Only drawback was I had to use one of their graphic designs.


I'm waiting for Dad's camera to finish charging so I can upload some copies he did for me...

Since yahoo bestow upon us the gift of unlimited storage, I haven't been deleting email. The count is up to 1145 and I've slowly and painstakingly been sorting through it all. What a mess! I hate doing stuff like this.

Recently I've been getting a lot of Yahoo 360 invites. I've got a page on 360 but rarely do anything with it. The same with my 'myspace' page. I really do prefer blogger. I guess I should spread myself around to all audiences. Like butter, baby!

Here comes the Plumber

(Gotta love some email forwards)


Seems like it was just here a week ago!

School started today. The boys were getting bored. Being back in a routine will be good for them. I dread all the homework William will bring home this year.

I worked for a while Saturday. Didn't get to Al's until around 3:30 or so. He was in a blah mood all weekend. I think his lawsuit against the woman who totaled his car isn't going all that great. Seems his health insurance company screwed him over and won't pay some of the medical bills he incurred. About $7000 worth! He didn't want to talk about it to me. Instead he went into his cave and was quiet most of the weekend. I didn't try to force him to talk. He always comes to me when he's ready to vocalize, so I kept myself busy ...after all, I had Sudoku.

This morning as I tried to get on the road in time to allow a stop at the gas station and a stop at BK for some coffee, he decides to talk about things. I wanted to pull his ears off because he decides to talk at the worst possible time. But I stopped and listened and gave him comfort and encouraging words. (Do you think there were enough 'and's in that sentence?)

As I was leaving, he gave me a huge hug, kiss and said, "You're the only person I can count on, Sherrie. I love you."

It took my breath away, because he doesn't say that often.

In the past, I tried to fix his problems even when I knew he had to do it himself. Now, I know I can't fix them and I don't force the issue. I'm there to listen and if I can help, I will.

Anyways... Monday is here. Hot and humid... and so begins another week.
"Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy."

~Janet Long

Friday, August 24, 2007

I am addicted to Sudoku. In fact, I've been trying cut back. For a while I wouldn't go to sleep until I ran into a sudoku that stumped me. Sometimes it would take 8 to 10 puzzles and an hour or so before that happened. Allen teased me about loving sudoku more than I did him, so I stopped doing them at his house.

Last weekend, he had a present for me. A giant sudoku book of over 300 puzzles. I was amazed. I said, "Well, I'm trying to cut back. Thanks anyway." I resisted the urge to do a few.

When he called last night to check on me, I asked if we had any big plans for the weekend. He said, "I plan to watch football games. But I need to check and see who's playing."

"But...we didn't do much last weekend. You were too sick to go anywhere." I was really disappointed.

He said, "You've got a new sudoku book. That should keep you busy."

The reason for his gift was suddenly apparent.

I've gone through a case of kleenex but I feel better today. Sinus pain and pressure is gone. Still draining though, which is causing me to caught. So I'm sipping green tea and contemplating how intimate a kleenex can feel.

I made some homemade Hot & Sour soup last night, which I believe did the trick. I'm glad I feel better. There's not much worse than going into the weekend with aches and pains, because we all know weekends are for pleasure.


Thursday, August 23, 2007

"Dogfighting is a sport."

What a dumbass... but what can you expect from a NBA star!



So I'm a bit of a pervert... This is Sportacus. He's the superhero of Lazytown. A kids' show the nephews love to watch. I told them to call him "Uncle Sportacus" because I'm gonna marry him one day.

The things he and I could do.... the positions we could master.... I need a cold shower

I once had a crush on Captain Feathersword from the Wiggles...but it was over pretty fast. He's just tooooo goofy.


It's Raining... God does anwser prayers.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

This should comfort a few people!

There's Not a Violent Bone in Your Body

You're cool and collected, even when someone really gets under your skin.
And while you don't blow up when you're angry, you know how to express your anger calmly.
You don't bottle emotions up or let them get out of control. For you, violence would never be an option.

My head


Can't see the doctor until Friday morning! I feel like sleeping. Should have brought a bed to work with me.

Had a long blog post typed out but I accidentally clicked the return to list of posts link and it's lost. This morning I couldn't log onto blogger. Kept getting error messages. No complains. Chatted briefly with J instead. So ... there's no loss at all... except blogger's.

I've got Ben with me this afternoon. He's on the old PC playing "Pajama Sam" games. He's quiet as a mouse. Later, we're heading home to celebrate Mom's birthday. It was yesterday but she and my sister had Open House at the daycare and we couldn't celebrate. I kept the boys and we listened to Disney Radio and danced to the songs.



We're still sufferring from them. Monday night the smoke was very thick. I worried about the house for a while, until I drove around the neighborhood and talked to some guys who always know what's going on. They told me there were several fires burning within a 3 mile radius. I was afraid they were closer. So far so good... none have threatened the house.

We're in a very bad drought. Lord, please make it rain. Amen.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

A Full Moon Fumbles

A full moon fumbles across a cloudy night,
like an over-excited lover's
fingers slipping over buttons.

And I wonder where you are,
man of mountains and steel?
Forbidden love a touch of sin...

We once filled nights with sighs
and pressed thighs so close
we appeared as one soul.

Our tongues beat a slow tango
into the air around us,
never missing a sultry beat.

Love was our duty,
Lust was our crime and
we find a happy medium between.

Then one day we drifted
like slow clouds at dusk,
allowing moonlight to fumble over stars.
You Are 65% Independent

You've cultivated your own indepedent interests and personal style.
But you're open minded enough to also embrace anything trendy that strikes you.
You are Flat Sandals

Casual yet flirty
You look great in a simple top and jeans
Your look is approachable and cute!
You Are 16% Emo

You're the furthest thing from emo. Sensitivity is not something you exactly cultivate... and you can't imagine weeping over song lyrics.

Some Country Music Song Titles...

Readers of New York magazine were asked to invent country-song titles. Here are some entries:

- Ain't No Trash In My Trailer Since The Night I Threw You Out

- You Wanted To Get Hitched, But My Heart Is Filled With Whoa

- Baked My Sweetie A Pie, But He Left With A Tart

- I Lost My Honey Bunny On A Bad Hare Day

- She Chews Tobacco, But She Didn't Choose Me

- The Peach I Picked In Georgia Didn't Cling To Me For Long

- Don't Want That Floozy In My Jacuzzi

- I Found The Recipe For Heartbreak In A Cookbook On Your Shelf

- Now That We're Miserable, I Hope You're Happy

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I for one do not care much for Country music. Give me some good ole Rock and Roll, baby. But my sister loves Country. She made me listen to it when we drove up to Chapel Hill when Dad was there. I remember one song that made me was about 17 video cassettes that a father made, because he knew he was gonna die before his son was born. How sad...and after that I toned the other songs out... except the one Reba made with Kelly Clarkson or whatever her name is. Reba blew her out... Kelly sounded like a backup singer.

Anyways...on with the show.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Sunburn my name.

My sister and I took the boys to Holden Beach yesterday. That's heard correct. I took a day off. We had a blast. Except I got a bad case of sunburn on my shoulders and back. So bad I had trouble sleeping last night. I usually use 15 SF lotion but my sister sprayed me with dark tanning oil that has a sunfactor of 4.

So I burned... it was partly my fault, because I assumed she was using the same high SF stuff on me that she used on the nephews. I didn't feel the burn until I got home.

Anyway, I dealing with it. Wearing a strapless sundress. Thought the mailman was gonna ravish me on the front desk when he came in today.

But we had so much fun yesterday. The boys did great. They even packed their pirate costumes (Jack Sparrow wig and clothes) and brought them along. William's reasoning was that if a pirate ship showed up, they would be prepared to join them. Real pirates don't wear swim trucks.

After about 3 hours, we packed up Lisa's SUV and drove over to see Granny. She was happy to see us and we stayed about 45 mins. She was having a good day and seemed very coherent. I'm glad we dropped in.

Well, I think I may leave work early today. The sunburn is driving me nuts. And I feel like sitting on the couch and watching Lazytown on Demand. I swear I could eat Sportacus for dinner.


Monday, August 13, 2007

Bad Leg

A man goes into the doctor. He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"

The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh, only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks. I really need 20 bucks."

"I've never seen or heard anything like this before. How long has this been going on?" The doctor asked.

"That's nothing Doc. Put your ear to my knee."

The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Man, I really need 10 dollars. Just lend me 10 bucks!!"

"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded.

"Wait Doc, that's not all. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.

The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks, please, if you will."

"I have no idea what to tell you. There's nothing about it in my books," he said, as he frantically searched all his medical reference books.

"I can make a well educated guess though," he continued. "Based on life and all my previous experience, I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places."

I think this joke is so bad and it's funny as hell.

Friday, August 10, 2007


I'm lazy today. Been sitting on one of the sofas in the waiting area, watching cars parallel park. Didn't have my grade book, so I couldn't give out points.

I have to work tomorrow, so I don't know why I'm glad it's Friday. This morning while I was getting ready for work, my brother was listening to the radio and "Don't tell me you love me" by Night Ranger came on... it reminded me of Rafters and the time I asked DJ Jeff Diamond to dedicate that song to a guy who kept telling me he was in love with the crazy part is that he didn't get the message.

Thursday, August 09, 2007


I left work early yesterday...around 4:30 and before I could get out of town, 3 fire trucks raced pasted me heading towards Alamac Road. I thought it was an accident. Never considered that the wildfire we had a week or so ago had rekindled.

As I got closer to home I could see a huge cloud of smoke. About half a mile from my house, I pulled over to let 2 more firetrucks, a state trooper and a forestry truck loaded with long ladders rush past me.

I estimate that I was about 2 miles from the fire. Here's the article. Though on an update, they've gotten it under control. Mom and I sat outside until dark, watching the helicopters fly overhead with water. Trying to contain the fire.

Mom suggestedt that we get stuff together, just incase the fire races our way. But I didn't think it would get that far, because it had a huge intersection to cross and a lot of mobile homes to eat first.

I didn't see any huge smoke clouds this morning and was thankful that prayers had been answered.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Change and other odds and ends...

Have you ever felt change coming your way? Sure there are ways to avoid it but there are times when you can't. Change can be good.

Change is coming my way. I feel this deep within me and I am excited. There are moments when you wish you had a new path to take. There are moments when you have a new path to take but can't, for whatever reason. But for me, I know I will take the new path. Everyone needs to grow, to thrive to become the best they can.

It is time for me to do this. For myself. Not for others.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yesterday I left some yahoo groups I've been a member of for a thousand years. I even deleted a few of my smaller ones. I don't write as much as I used too, but I hope to become more active in a few of the ones I really my starry starry night journal. It was the first place I could write what I felt and not worry about upsetting others, because as a journal it was only mine...mine alone. Time to return to my roots.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
In about a week and a half, I'm going to see one of my online pals who moved closer to me a few years ago. Lady BJ. She lives in Wilmington. I visited her a few times in the past and she's come to see me too. But we both got involved with relationships and let them keep us from sharing good times. She likes to write and paint, too. So we're going to compare art and writings. Of course do some shopping, as well as hitting the beach. Ah the life...and I could use the time off.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dad seems to be doing better. So far no smoking. He's still eating little debbie cakes for breakfast and for lunch, he's been eating potato chips. I keep stressing that he should get some fruit. I know he's going to fall back into the old habits because he's feeling a lot beter. But I hate to see it happen. Maybe his guardian angel can continue to keep him safe.

~~ ~ ~ ~


Squirrels are silly little animals. When they try to run across the street and a car is coming towards them, most of the time they can't commit to going across. They turn back.

William and I were driving up Alamac Road towards town, when a squirrel darted into the road before us. I slowed down to give him room to turn back, but this squirrel didn't. He took a flying leap into the oncoming traffic. William and I watched in horror as the squirrel flew into the front passenger wheel of the car and was flung aroung it and then cast off like a stone. There was no way it could have lived, even William knew this. So I didn't try to hide the death. His big brown eyes teared up and he asked why didn't I blow the horn. As if this was my fault.

I pulled into a drive and turned off the truck. Taking his hand I tried to explain how animals don't know that vehicles are dangerous. This was no one's fault.

I don't know if I got through. He dried his eyes and we went on our way. Since then I keep seeing that squirrel leaping straight into the wheel. I wish for once, it had turned back to the safety of the grass on the side of the road.

Lost & Found: My Muse

I see
someone's lost words
on a discarded note
lust-stained in bright crimson lipstick.
Muse found.

Herbal Tea on a Sunday Morning

herbal tea
spilling on the table

the cup rolling
to and fro

pondering how
it arrived at such a state

the scent of peach
fruitfully teasing our noses

I savor the instant
your hand touched mine

so electric...
that my teacup spilled

just like my heart
over you

The Morning after the Night at a Tattoo Palor

black in
on white skin

words written
in hushed hues

reflect love...
an eternity

on skin
tattoo you

Monday, August 06, 2007

Quote of the Day

by Lillian Hellman (1905 - 1984)

It it not good to see people who have been pretending strength all their lives lose it even for a minute.

Ketchup and Salt

But Sunday was pleasant. My siblings and I took my dad out to dinner. We ate at the Cracker Barrel. Al drove down this weekend, since I couldn't be there. Lisa and her family were 20 minutes late. I think from now on, I'm going to add 30 mins to any time she says she'll meet me. Then she'll be ontime and we won't have to wait so long.

William sat beside me while Al sat on the other side. Ben almost cried because he wanted to sit with me too. After he finished eating, he came over and stood beside my chair, talking to me and Al.

Al told him " I think with some ketchup and salt, you would make a perfect snack. You better not stand close to a ketchup bottle, if I get hungry later." Ben thought he was serious. I laughed, especially when William asked for more ketchup and I put the bottle on the table beside Ben. He ran away and said, "Move it Aunt Sherrie. Alwin is gonna eat me."

Neither he or William would eat their steak fries. I saw that Al had ordered some too and told them "Guys, if you eat your fries, you'll grow moustaches like Allen's." They ate them and ate what Al didn't eat. Later William asked if he had any hair over his lip yet.

Everyone had a nice dinner. The waitress even sang for us. I felt very close to my family. Glad that we could make Dad forget his troubles for a while and enjoy himself.


Feels as if a lifetime has passed since July 31. Dad ended up at the UNC Hopsital Wednesday. He had 5 different blockages in his heart. The doctor said that he was surprised Dad hadn't had a massive heart attack. But they're fixed with angioplasty. The stents they used have to have Plavix with them..The prescription costs close to $150 for a month's supply and Dad's about to have a fit. I don't know if he'll stop smoking. I overheard him and a friend talking and Dad told him that smoking wasn't the reason he had blockage.

He's wrong, but it's not the total reason. Not exercising, not eating healthy and stressing also have contributed. He's ignoring what all the doctors said ...which was 'Stop smoking.' Plus the literature they sent which stressed in big letters. "Don't smoke if you have stents."

He and I have already had a few arguements over this. I don't understand it. Why does he want to feel awlful all the time and not live a life that is full of quality. Life is so precious.

I've decided to quit worrying about what he does. I feel as if I nag him all the time about things he does, like the smoking and eating those little debbie cakes for meals. But Mom pointed out that if I didn't love him I wouldn't give be doing it. And she's right.

There are times when I think that maybe I should move on from the studio. Start thinking of myself and let Dad sort out things here. Isn't my sanity worth saving? Do I stay with his sinking ship also know as his health? I think he would be forced to retire if I weren't here helping him limp over the bridge. But how do I shrug off my feelings of responsibility and loyalty? How do I look at my overflowing cup and say...when?