Disguises and their fallibility.

Since I didn't go to the grocery store after work on Saturday, I decided to go Sunday morning early. I slept over 8 hours and still woke up with the headache. Didn't feel like getting 'glammed' up, so I put my hair in a ponytail, donned my Scooby Doo baseball cap, blue jeans with the holes at the knees, my "feeling groovey" t-shirt and sunglasses. I did add some berry colored lipstick to my mouth.

Disguise complete. No one would know it was me. Chances are that I would run into someone I knew.

But... the grocery store I frequent wasn't open until 1 pm. I wasn't about to wait until then, I had the feeling my headache would intensify as the day went on. The only place available at 10:30 am was... Walmart-ville.

I was surprised the parking lot wasn't full of cars. Got a great parking space close to the doors and even found a shopping cart that wasn't wobbly. Then began my search of things I needed. What a waste of time! It took me over an hour and a half to find stuff I needed and... I couldn't find a lot of it. They must have some imbecile designing where to put stuff in that damn place.

There were a bunch of people at Wal Vegas. I was secretly delighted when they failed to recognize me. But... there I was at the ice cream cases, looking for some red popsicles for Ben, when a voice said, "Look what the dog dug up!"

It was Chip, my old gay male friend I haven't seen in ages. He looked so fine with his highlights and saloon tan. Dressed to the nines with his gold chains. He hugged me and I said, "How did you know it was me??? I'm in disguise."

"My dear, you scream of Sherrie with your signature taste in handbags and that naughty shade of lipstick. "

I saw his male friend standing off a few feet, sending eye lasers. "New boyfriend?"

"Yes, darlin'. He's delicious, isn't he?" Chip sent a smile over to his guy, easing his worries, which I secretly laughed at. Hell, Chip is all 'girl' and would never stoop to doing one. Then he turned to me and asked, "Are you still seeing that young stud?" He meant Doug and I didn't correct him on the young stud part. Nor did I correct him for assuming that Doug was my boyfriend.

I decided to play it up a bit. "No, he dumped me via email. Didn't have the balls to call or tell me in person."

Chip was very understanding. "Men... shameless beasts." He hugged me and then said, "We've got to run. Call me sometime. I'm still at the same place. We should do lunch." Before walking away with his new delicious man, he gave me a very intense once-over. "Darlin' those holes in your jeans make your knees look like they're keeping secrets. Good thing your lipstick draws the focus away. Buh Bye."

My knees are keeping secrets?? Well, at least the lipstick was doing its job.