I'm doing okay this week. I haven't cried myself to sleep any this week. I get sad but it's not consuming me. Each day I have haiku moments...like yesterday driving home...I saw a series of baby blue clouds and immediately Teez popped into my head. Sometimes those drives home are so long and sad...we would talk every day on my drive home. I like to think that the baby blue clouds were Teez's way of being with me.
I am grateful for the time we had. He's essence will be a part of me always. I know as time goes by he won't be in my mind and heart as strongly as he is now, but he will always be there in some form. We had too much of a connection for him to suddenly fade from my soul, heart and mind.
When I am with my friends (those that knew him from high school), I try not to talk about him all the time...but I do occassionally slip. Now they aren't changing the subject like the once did. I think they realize I need to include him in our conversations. Hell, if he were alive today he would call while we were having dinner or whatever, just so he could be a part of it in whatever way he could be.
Maybe I am strong enough to pick up our novel and rewrite parts of it...edit it and let it be a legacy of our love, of the haiku moments we drifted in, savoring each and each other.