Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Reunion Ramble

Can't remember if I've blogged about the reunion of late. I had put things on hold during November and December. With Thomas dying, we had decided to move things up to April. That means that I need to get my ass in gear about the plans...

I know I'v written about my fair-weather friend Bon who said she would help me with planning. She has shown no interest in the menu, finding classmates (except those she liked) or the memory table, etc. She wanted to concentrate on the decorations and getting Bryan (who owns a bakery) to make a cake. With her lack of self-esteem, I tried to include her in all the decisions. We had several meetings in Sept and Oct. I asked her to check out DJ's or other entertainment options...but she hasn't. She wanted to have a bio of each classmate in the program booklet. I told her to write out the questionairre..she hasn't.

I think back in September, she got upset with me because Bryan mentioned to her that I was planning the reunion. So she called me up, upset over the fact that he didn't seem to know that she was helping me. I had told him but he must have forgotten. I spent over an hour reassuring her that she was on board and pointed out all the times I called her to ask her opinion, etc. After much fluff, she calmed down.

Then in Dec... she suddenly got on the reunion bandwagon, taking it upon herself to ask various classmates to do this and that... based on a date she thought I had set in March (I was batting around different dates and still haven't really settled on one yet)... instead of contacting her with the information, they called me. I was sorta surprised that they had been asked to do these things but was glad they had. So she gets mad that they contacted me instead of her, and accused me of trying to do all the planning and not letting her do things. She went as far as to tell Donna, one of my other close friends that "I" was the one who was helping HER plan the reunion and that she could plan it by herself. I almost took her up on it but Donna talked me out of it.

So I let it ride and reminded myself that Bon is flaky and her self-esteem sometimes knocks her down... that I should just ignore this.

A day or so after New Years, she calls me up and tells me that she needs to talk and that she doesn't want me to say anything. For me not to get upset over anything she has to say...when I tried to comment, she overrode me with "LET ME TALK!" and so I did. I sat quietly while she went from one self-doubting comment to the next... and held my tongue when she said, "You aren't including me in any of the reunion planning. You've got Phillip and Keith and other people doing things for you. You don't need me. I don't even know if I'm going to go to the reunion or not."

She said some more things...but the fire within me burned the rest of her comments up. I didn't say what I wanted to say... Which was "You're the one who got Keith involved in checking on places to rent, etc. All I ever asked anyone to do was to find people.. Phillip got one address for me, Keith got 3 and Angela M has gotten 5... Charles M has found 3 and so on. I've asked you to check on DJ's. Have you? It was your idea to do a bio of classmates. Have you worked on that?" And so on... but I didn't.

Since then I've been silently fuming and today I thought...what the hell! No matter what I do to include her in my planning, it's gonna backfire on me. She's going to continue to complain to others about me not letting her do things...all for attention. Even if I stood on my head and chanted "Bonnie is the queen of the reunion." over and wouldn't help change the fact that what Bonnie wants is the attention that goes with planning something...she wants people to contact HER about things... back in our High School days, she never quite fit in with the popular group...and oh how she wanted to be in. To her those days were her golden ones...and even to this day she's still trying to impress classmates... but her reputation hasn't helped things..and I don't think the glory that she thinks she'll get from a perfectly planned reunion will change that either.

So today, I called Donna and told her to call a couple of people who have offerred to help me. I've called a few others and we are going to go to dinner and I'll bounce off my plans and see what they think. I'll include Bonnie. She won't like that I've asked others to join in. But you how's not only mine and Bon's reunion... it's The Class of 81's reunion...and I think other voices should have an input.

I'll have the final say...and am not worrying about them taking over...they don't want that job. Bonnie might covet it...but if given the reins, she would decline them.

1 comment:

John said...

Maybe if you give her a physical writen list, it would help....something she can hold on to. I'm not saying you count on her to do those things. Have a backup plan, because she doesn't sound reliable. That way, though, when she says you haven't given her anything to do, reference the list and ask how she's coming with that.