Thursday, January 08, 2009

Jan Weather!

We've had mostly gray days since Thanksgiving! I'm so sick of the rainy gloominess that January seems to seep out of its pores.

And I miss Thomas so damn much! He's been slipping into my dreams yet I don't remember them. Just know he was there...I've taken to reading books at night before turning in and was amazed on Monday evening when I realized I had read for 3 hours and hadn't thought of him once. But as soon as I closed the book, he popped into my head. My waking thoughts are of him. While I work, he's there. When I drive home at 5ish, I want to dial his number to chat for a while. I wistfully look at my email inbox for email...none... the OHS page at myspace is dead...

I need a distraction but don't know exactly what I need... I know what I want but I can't have it... only the memories of it are left.

Maybe if the sun returns to my day, I can find a way to get through this grief.

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