Thursday, April 14, 2005

insanity? a good reason to rant?

Today hasn't been a good day. There are a multitude of reasons for it...from my dad to the weather. Many items in between. It's moods like this one...the one I'm sporting today that keep me from spilling on these pages.

A dark mood...with dark thoughts.

What is it about dark moods that make us write or say things we normally wouldn't say out loud to an indiscrimating audience?

I think its the go to hell attitude I get when I'm in this mood.

I've come here many times today to write. And each time, something stops me. A higher power? Naw... my ISP lol...

My patience is thin today. More with issues than with people... PETA and their opinion that fish are smarter and sensitive than humans give them credit... ah... now COME ON! There are a few other issues that have pipped me but I won't indulge the urge to rant over them...

But I sit here...looking at the gray post box, pounding out my bold opinions...only to erase them and exit the window. What's keeping me from publishing? I think the fact that even though I am in a bad mood, I still have a sunny disposition underneath it all. And lets be honest, who the fuck really wants to hear it? Who gives a shit if I am about to implode today? That I feel as if I'm in hell, living the same minute over and over today? That everyone, mainly my family wants more from me than I'm able to give? And I feel as if I'm drowning in the grayness of this long rainy cold day?

Maybe its the hope that tomorrow will somehow be a brighter one and I'll feel sane come a new day.


John said...

c'mon, don't sugar coat it. tell us how you really feel :)

sarah hb said...

Exactly. If you can't have a good old rant here then where can you have one? :)