Please Mr. Postman

Since the early 90's, I've had a postal clerk who didn't like me. He is in the 1 % of the population of Lumberton of people who don't like the Sher-anator. At first I thought it was because all government officials are supposed to be nasty to the public.

But no... this wasn't the case. Back in 91, an amateur photographer opened a studio around the corner from us. He worked with the Walmart part-time and won a photo contest. Because so many told him that he was quite good with a 35 mm camera, he decided to go professional. We didn't consider him a threat. In fact, we ended up making money off his mistakes. It's like cutting your hair--if you make a mistake, you run to the beauty shop to get it fixed.

One day I was in the post office, the clerk I mentioned earlier asked me if our business was hurting due to the new photography studio. At first I was baffled. Then he said the name of it and I laughed....out loud and loudly. I think my retort was "The 35 mm kingdom? Now come on..."

After that, when the guy had to wait on me, he was rude as hell. Going out of his way to try and humiliate me in front of people.. "The outgoing zip code is wrong. You must want the package to get lost"...or..."You need to use better quality tape. This will unstick in the heat." Oh there were more...and finally I had enough and called the Post Master. I informed him that the US postal service wasn't the only service to deliver items to customers. If his postal clerk couldn't supply me with a book of stamps worth of politefullness, then I would use another sevice. At the time, we were shipping out work to a lab in Tnn and one in Charlotte thrice a week.

Naturally the next time the clerk saw me, he was so polite I could have written a book about it for Emily Post. It wasn't until a year later that I found out he was a 35 mm amateur too and he used the amateur studio too. No wonder he got pissed and hated my guts. I bashed him indirectly in front of his co-workers.

But time and tea always soothes waters. He tends to run hot and cold now. Some days he's friendly as can be...like the time I opened a card from my old friend Dan while waiting in line to get stamps. I stood laughing at the card and the postal guy kept saying "next, next...NEXT" until he got my attention. Since I was the only person in line, the other clerks stood smiling at me. The postal guy said, "Now we've got to see that card, if it's that funny." Then there days, he acts like he doesn't want to touch my package or money.

I saw him the day after the article came out about my book. He said, "Poet and She knows it!"

I smiled and said, "You read the article."

He said, "Yes and I ordered a book."

Today I had to stop in and get some stamps. He said,"I got your book last week. Read part of it but got distracted. I'll finish it later and let you know what I think. So far it's" ...a long pause, as I stood with a fixed smile on my lips.."interesting."

How do you reply to a comment like that??? I found myself saying "thanks" in a small voice. Is this some test? Will his opinion make or break our truce? What if he says, "you really suck and I'm getting a petition started to stop you from writing another word"...

Ok.. I've spent an hour and a half worrying over this...time to move on...right?... after all there is online postal service available.