Sher Update--Tale of Two Shanes and Tea with Emily

I have to confess that my weekend wasn't so bad.

Watched Donnie Darko and the second Resident Evil movie. Donnie Darko left me wondering what the hell is the movie about!!! Drew Barrymore was in it and I liked her role. She did a great job with it. I imagine that's how I would be as a teacher. Don't get me wrong....the movie was good. It was deep though. I almost watched it again but decided my brain cells would rebel. The Resident Evil movie was ok. I thought the first one was better. They left it open for a 3rd installment.

Worked for a while Sat. Kept having computer freezing, so I defragged and went home.

My cousin Shane and his family from Georgia were visiting last week. Jerry, his dad is my mom's brother who lives across the street and over 2 houses. Shane's the youngest. He's got a sister named Lynn who is hard to read. I can never tell if she's telling a joke or being serious. Mostly its being serious. She's not much on smiling. But ole Shane..he's wacky like my brother and me. Uncle Jerry had a cookout Sat at 5. It was fun.

Shane's about 10 yrs younger than I am. He has a great job working construction. His wife Amy is a Native American. They have two cute boys, 7 and 2. Aunt Ann, Shane's mom doesn't like that Shane's married to Amy. She hides it but has a lot to say after each trip or visit. She's not one of my favorite people.

Shane's hair is down his back and in a pony tail. Aunt Ann isn't happy about that either.

When I told Shane I had a book published, he said "Just one. They didn't print more." At first I stared at him, trying to comprehend his comment. Then suddenly I started laughing. I was like, "you nut!" I showed him a copy of my book and he dissected it, asking a lot of questions. I told him about Doug not understanding this poem:

Cranberry Lipstick

lipstick of
cranberry red
shaped her
full parted lips

every line drawn
and caressed

he kissed her
reading Braille

Shane read it and said, "Course it makes sense. He can't do both. So while he's kissing her, he's reading the McDonald's menu in Braille."

We lost it. I laughed so hard.

After the cookout, my Brother and I went back over to the house. His friend Shane was down visiting family. Shane is the younger brother of one of John's old friends. Once Shane came of age, he started hanging out with John and they became the best of pals. We fondly call Shane a "Tumble Weed" because of his fondness for moving and changing jobs.

Ironically Shane is the same age as my cousin Shane. While my cousin Shane has long flowing hair, our friend Shane has his head shaved.

And he's got a big crush on me.

He came over early evening. When he saw me, he said, "There's my girl. And still so beautiful...looking so good. You're single, aren't you? No wedding plans?"

I laughed and said "I'm available."

He said, "Good. John always wanted me as a Brother-in-law."

We decided to go out to the sports bar and play pool. My brother watched as Shane and I played. After a few games, we stopped playing and moved to a booth in the bar area. Shane sat beside me and massaged my shoulders and my hands, all the while singing my praises. John told him about my book and we talked about writing. Shane almost quoted my doctor by asking if there wasn't anything I couldn't do.

I will confess...if my brother hadn't of been around that I might would have let him give me a total body massage... it's tempting... having a young sexy guy stroke my...ego... and there is chemistry between us.

But probably.. I wouldn't have let it go far. Sex would change things and I kind of like having a handsome Tumble Weed roll over me with compliments whenever he rolls into town.

Sunday was nice. My friend Doug's grandmother died almost 2 weeks ago. She lived with him and his daugher, Emily--who's 4. His mom was there a few nights a week too. Emily was very close to her Grandma. She was in the hospital room when she let out her last breath. According to Doug, Emily is having a hard time coping with her grandmother going to Heaven. Doug asked if he could bring Emily over for a visit. Because she is fond of me and he thought it would be good for her.

I feel for the child. Her mother has no interest in her and she is such a sweet girl. So they came over around 1. We went to a Chuck E. Cheese type place and had pizza. After that Emily played arcade games. We came back to my house and hung out for an hour. Doug and John talked about sports while Emily and I had a pretend tea party.

It was during the tea party that Emily mentioned her Grandmother.

"Miss Sherrie, may I talk to you about something?" She asked while pouring more tea into my cup.

I offered her the cookie tray. "More cookies, Miss Emily?" After she got one, I said, "I am all ears. Let's talk."

We sipped tea in silence as she gathered her words. "Miss Sherrie, as you know my Grandma is in heaven. And...and...that's all." She nibbled at a cookie.

"Yes I know. So is my Grandmother. She's in Heaven too. I miss her. Did your Grandmother play with you a lot? Mine played with me some."

"No, Miss Sherrie. My Grandma couldn't jump or run. She didn't play with me."

"I bet she talked to you. Mine liked to talk to me about Jesus and she read me stories." (Doug told me his Grandmother was very religious and read Bible stories about Jesus to Emily.)

"MINE DID TOO!!!" She was astonished that both our Grandmothers talked about Jesus.

"I bet your Grandmother and my Grandmother are up in Heaven, sitting around talking about Jesus. They love Jesus and are happy to be in Heaven."

"Yes my Grandma loves Jesus, Miss Sherrie. Is Heaven a nice place? Will my Grandma forget me?"

"Heaven is a wonderful place. And no Miss Emily...no one can forget you. I bet your Grandma talks about you all the time. And she'll never forget you, because she loves you. She hasn't stopped loving you just because she's in Heaven."

"I love her too...and I won't forget her. More tea, Miss Sherrie?"

"Yes, please...more tea."

Beautiful Day

It is a beautiful day out. Sunny and mild. The fountain is flowing in the plaza and people are out reading by it or having lunch.

And I was right... today is a better day.

One of those days...

I'm having an up and down day. TGIF? Yeah that's the ticket.

Five years ago today...was the first date that my soldier Robert and I had. I said in an earlier post, how time erased Charles from my memory. Yet, time hasn't completely erased Robert from mine.

I wonder how life would be if he hadn't of had the discipline to put aside love and be a soldier. To have the sheer will-power to walk away from your heart strings...well, that's something I've had to work on.

Thought I felt like writing today but.. I really don't.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

New Poetry book Update

Got the email from PA today, stating they got my signed contract and I have until March 31 to get it formatted and returned edited as I want it published. As I edit, I wonder how it will metaphor? What kind of butterfly will arrive? Or will it be a moth....drawn to fire?

Update on the Sher News

The rains have come back for an encore. Yesterday and Tues, the temps were in the 70's. Today its barely above 44. The damp weather is killing me. I'm all congested again. Hot coffee is helping.

Had a doc appt at 10:45 today. White cell count is lower --still not normal but improving and my bronchitis is not so bad. Lungs aren't completely clear but I hope they will be in a few days.

Monday when I was in there, I gave the office girls a poetry book and they showed it to my doctor. He said, "Miss P...., I read some of your poems. Very nice. I thought you were am artist. Is there anything you can't accomplish?" My reply was "Self-healing."

So yeah...I'm feeling better. Finally getting my energy back.

I wrote a poem while I waited for the call to the examining room where I sat forever with no magazine to look at. Once I decode it, I'll plaster it here.

Granny is visiting for a few days. She is looking frail. I worry about her. Jewel (her husband) got her a new car. Its nice. Can't remember what kind. I'm bad when it comes to autos.

Tonight I'm going with Lisa and the boys to a book fair at William's school. He said I could buy one book but it had to be for boys. Man, when did he become the Book Czar?

Here's a good quote or rather a good question...any one care to answer?

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
- Mary Oliver, "The Summer Day"

Oh man, this just in. Some guy with a SUV just side-swiped my dad's new van. Instead of backing into a parallel parking spot, he tried to drive in and it clipped dad's van at the headlight area, knocking his light out. Dad's out there now and they're waiting for the police. Another reason, I don't park on the main street. People do not know how to parallell park. Poor dad, his insurance just went up due to an accident he had back in July. He rear-ended a car while being nosy and trying to look at another photographer's studio and trying to drive at the same time.

Back to work....

The Empty Sea

The empty sea
yesterday's laughter
drowns in foam
a red surf at sunset

I watch the waves
recede into
a dark horizon
eternity's fine line

Songs fall
from the lungs
of white gulls
thrashing in the wind

I sing the surf
rolling into rocks
salty balladeer
indomitable siren

The empty sea
tomorrow's tears
form in the lining
of pink clouds at dawn


~ ~ ~ ~
Last night as Pablo Neruda and I lay in bed, we exchanged ideas of the sea and the fact that it can swallow yesterday and tomorrow and still remain so beautiful.

Something wrote in 2001

It's Been a While

Its been awhile since I thought of him, the one that got away. The love of my life that I let walk out that door. Youth in all its silliness can fuck you over. Its been 13 years, wiser now, smarter now, and a little more mature.Why couldn't fate have allowed us to meet now instead of when we both were so young and foolish? I think of that on nights like this, in the humid summer.

I sit on the porch, especially after a rain. Think about the moon, the stars and how they remain much the same, through all our fuck-ups and our heartbreaks, our laughter and our love. No emotion there in the sky, just existing. Some lights burning long and bright, some dying fast..some just twinkling dimly...no one noticing them at all.

Sitting and sipping lemonade. Ice-cold-freshly-squeezed-between-my-thighs-lemonade.

His light was bright, so blindingly bright. And hot to touch. But I did. I took the chance. He told me mine was as hot to embrace and so blindlingly beautiful to look at. One night while we were making love in one of those cheap motels that have the mirrors over the bed. I looked up into the mirrors, after one particular extravangant pussy-blowing orgasmic fest, and saw our combined auras, swirling and melding together--cosmic colors of pink climax and blue satin bliss--silly giggly after-good-sex-colors.

Lemonade sure is good. Crickets are mating and damn...could have sworn that for a moment, the skies looked like our bonded hearts did that night, reflecting back at us and smiling, at youth and its heated fevers of the moment...wish that I knew how they get so lost in today.

~ ~ ~ ~
I remember writing this. But I don't think that the person I'm referring to in the prose is the 'love of my life.' At the time, I might have felt that way...but now, I don't. I'm hoping I haven't met the love of my life yet. That there is hope in the stars and that love...is eventual.

Ex-Almost Mother-in-law

I've been putting off calling Susan, my ex-fiance's mother for over a week. She had ordered 3 of my poetry books through me. She wants them signed. So, I buckled up, put on my mellifluous voice and called her this morning.

As usual, she went on and on about things and people I don't know, giving out too much information, which she acknowledged she was doing. Then she went on about how proud she was of me. I finally broke in and asked how she wanted the books signed. I knew one was for her and I had a suspicions about the other two. Sure enough...one was for Charles, my ex-fiance.

She begun her defense...which should have offended me but didn't. As she talked I realized how so over him I was. Hell, this past Jan made it 10 years that we had officially broken it off.

She said, "I know that Charles has a tendency to hurt people by rejecting them. I'm sorry he did that to you. But he's proud of you. And he still cares. I know it probably hurts to hear me talk about him, but I want you to know he's so proud of you."

My reply, "Actually Susan, it doesn't hurt. To be honest, Charles and I should have broken up sooner than we did. I guess, I couldn't give up on him and that's why we meandered for so long. When I think back to those times, its like a distance memory. I don't mind if he gets a book."

"Oh darling, you are such an angel. It's so nice to know we can all be close friends." (I covered the snort I gave with a fake cough) "In fact, we've joined a Bluegrass Association and if you want to come along to a concert some time, you're welcomed to join us. Jimmy (Charles's brother) and Charles are in a band. They've learned to play instruements. Jimmy plays guitar and Charles plays the banjo. Will you come with us something, sweetie? We would love for you too."

Bluegrass? Oh I almost lost it. I can't imagine hanging out with them now. I'm so different. Thankfully a customer came into the studio and I had to cut the call short.

Yes, I'll sign Charles's book. It will probably be something mundane and mellow. But as for him being proud of me. Well, I feel he has no right to feel that way. He never offered support to me, regarding anything I did. In fact, he once told me I loved my art more than I did him...or I loved books more...or I loved the sea more...

I must confess...in the end...he was right.

A Dream

I've had this dream a few times. I don't know if it has some sort of subconscious seed or what but last night, I dreamt it again. In the dream, I woke up with an erect 4-foot penis. Thick as hell and very slick and shiny. It was hot to touch, almost burned my hands. I wasn't freaking out over it. But I knew I should go see a doctor, but what doctor. So I decided to go to the emergency room.... and it was a bitch to drive to the hospital with it. I had to weave it through the steering wheel. Turning corners was a pain. The sight of the head peeping up over the dashboard was exciting. It was like I was giving passing cars a 'heads up.' Once there, I kept accidentally poking people with it and knocking stuff over when I turned around. People were afraid of it, but you know..I kinda liked it. The last image I had before I woke up was of it knocking glass out of a stained glass window...much like one found in a church.

You know.. if I saw a 4-foot penis, I wouldn't run from it. I think I would have to examine it. I know I couldn't fuck it...but a two-handed hand job could be fun.

Clouds

I watched clouds tango
across the palest of skies;
a dance that made winter
an illusion of today.

In the warmth of the moment,
I caught a glimpse of heaven...
the image of lovers dancing
across the the pale sky.

Clouds, they reminded me
of the first taste of love
that seems so long ago,
before the rains came.

~ ~ ~ ~
After a rainy cold day...the sun appears along with the prettiest clouds I've ever seen.

The "Eye Candy" Factor

Sunday during their visit with me, I listened to Betty-A and Shannon discuss some of the men we know--the guys they thought were hot..and the ones that weren't. They made special mention of the guys they knew who had 'a crush' on me. I had to laugh, because I didn't know they had one. But what made me laugh harder was when Shannon asked my secret!!!

I don't think there is any secret recipe to getting a person to develop a crush on you. It's something that just happens. Hell, I've had my share of crushes. And I hope I continue to have them even when I'm 103.

When I first meet a person, I am usually reserved. I study that person until I get a reading on them, as to what type of humor they have and if they are intelligent enough to get my wit. So you can say I give little tests on each. Once I feel comfortable, I slowly reveal who I am unless the connection is immediate and if it is...then I am myself. This goes for men and women.

It took me a long time to warm up to Betty-A and Shannon. Mainly because they don't have independant skills of communication. Their interests and their conversation topics are predictable and they don't have independent opinions about anything. Their goal is to find the man of their dreams...but their expectations are unrealistic. Thus, they go through many 'relationships.'

Take their 'hot' list for example... the key words are sexy, fine ass, built, cool car, lots of money and handsome. Superficial and shallow should be included. In other words, they love "Eye Candy."

I've never been one to go after "Eye Candy." There has to be more to a person to get my interest--there has to be a cavalcade of characteristics like humor, warmth, interests outside of the night life scene, education, goals, kindness, eyes that smile, a bit of devil/wickedness and listening skills/communication. Most of all, the person has to make me laugh--not just at jokes but at myself and the ironies life tosses our way. There has to be a connection that is beyond description...one that is a combination of sexuality and humanity. Toss in complexity and its perfect...I don't mean to sound vague but its hard to describe what I am referring to.

Since our conversation, I've been thinking about the guys they mentioned who have crushes on me. They are nice enough guys. And I've known them a long time. I tease them and joke around with them, mainly because they are easy targets. I can zing them with my wit and humor and half the time they don't know what hit them. There is no pressure for them to impress me, because I don't expect them to. Each moment we spent together is just that...a moment and I don't expect anything from them other than a brief conversation.

Do I have any crushes? At the moment I don't. In fact, I have no real interest in anyone. Not even a sexual interest. There has to be a connection that is wicked and delicious--one that is continuous or I lose interest fast. I don't mean love, either. I believe that a balanced combination of lust and true affection can keep me interested for a long time. There has to be a depth that goes beyond the 'eye candy' stage. I believe that's why I love being involved with complex men, because with them they throw curve balls and I find it a challenge to know when they're going to throw one.

This is the reason I don't jump on these offers from Eye Candy. Give me a man with depth and complexity any day. I don't mind waiting for him...even if him only comes my way every few years. Its better to have mind-blowing quality than mundane quantity.

Stereotypical

Hunter S. Thompson committed suicide. A writer/journalist. You know..he lived a volatile life... and it ended the same way. Hearing that he committed suicide made me feel strange because yesterday Shannon said, "Now that you're a published poet, will you be having suicide tendencies like Sylvia Plath?" Strange question to ask. Especially to a perpetually cheery person like myself.

But then not so strange to ask. After all, writers/poets/artists/musicians have been known to hide demons that drive them to sad acts such as suicide.

We all have our demons. Some people deny them and continue living their mediocre life. Others thrive on them, feeling as if they can't live a normal sane life if they don't have their demons to drive them forward. Allen is such a person.

There are people like me, who know that demons lurk in shadows and if I'm not careful can consume my soul. But through my life experiences I've learned to face them...that once I look them in the eye, they aren't so frightening. They are bearable, even if the weight of them causes my back to bend until my shoulders touch the ground. I can still bear them.

So my answer to Shannon is no...I won't be embracing suicidal tendencies, even as I embrace my demons.

Raining cats and dogs today

The rain is rather dreary. Cold and icy to the soul.

Spent Saturday afternoon on the couch, reading and napping. Can't remember what I watched on TV. I tried to stay awake but couldn't. Was in bed by 9:45. I woke up Sunday at noonish. It was all I could do to drag myself out of bed. I made the decision to go to the doctor today.

Which I did. High white cell count and anemic. The nurse pricked my finger twice and couldn't get enough blood to do lab work. So she ended up drawing it out of a vein in my arm. Got more antibotics and a lecture from my doctor for not coming by sooner. I'm supposed to drink lots of fluid and intake vitamins and iron. I'm to drop by Thurs for a follow-up.

If my energy level isn't up by then, I'm re-scheduling my trip to Greenville. The drive alone will exhaust me beyond words.

Today is Presidents' Day. Half the stores downtown are closed!!! I am always amazed at how quickly these downtown merchants will close shop at any excuse. I can't keep up with how many people have walked next-door only to quickly run to their car. I bet if there was a 'Fuck My Ass Day', they would close the store for that.

Ok, back to Sunday. I watched movies all day. Had a few friends drop in on me. Luckily I was dressed and showered. My brother was over at a friend's house watching the race, though he doesn't like NASCAR. But if there's chicken and other food ...he's there.

The girls that came by are casual friends. Usually we hang out at parties and the night life scene. They didn't call, just popped in. I think one of them, Betty Ann has relatives a few streets down and they were in the neighborhood. The other girl, Shannon wanted to look through my recipe books. Ok, maybe that was the real reason they stopped by. She's having a big party for her parents' 40 th anniversery. They stayed for a few hours. I was watching Curve Your Enthusiasm and they didn't get the humor, so I turned the DVD off and we watched a show on the E channel about Red Carpet Fashion. BORING... but they were all into it.

I may write more on our conversations later.

That's what Friends are for!

My dear friend Mary called a while ago. It seems she's called several times while I was out and Dad forgot to tell me. She's been going through some tough family problems and was depressed.

So she asked, "Sherrie, tell me one of your funny stories. I really need a laugh."

To be honest, I really didn't feel like talking for long. I'm starting to feel really tired and just want to finish my work and get home. But what can I say! There have been times when I needed to cry on Mary's shoulder.

"What do you want to hear? I don't have any new stories." Before she could ask, I said, "And NO TEXAS story."

"Damn, that's the best one. Ok...how about a blind date story?"

"Hmmm... I'll let you chose between the squid eating dilemma, the alien demi-god guy or the conspiracy theory loser."

"Decisons! Let's go with the Squid."

I knew as I told the story that I would cut it short and talk to her about the heart of her depression. And in the end...let her tease me about Texas, because that's what friends are for.

Killing time with odds and ends

I had to leave work early yesterday. Suddenly around 3:45, I felt as if I going to fall over. It was as if I were speeding along at 75 MPH and my tires blew out. I found a stopping point in my work and told Dad I would see him today. Drove straight home and didn't stop until I was in my jammies and under the covers. Glanced at the clock and it read 4:09 pm. I slept until 7. I quietly opened my bedroom door, testing the waters. I knew my brother probably called mom because I came home so early and knowing her, she probably was lurking in the shadows, waiting to jump me with vapor rub, vinegar/honey tea (yuk), and OJ. But it was quiet. I stepped out and promptly slipped on something.

Paper.

I picked up several pieces. William's scribbles decorated the surface. I took them with me into the kitchen and found a note from Mom. She and the boys had stopped by to see if I was ok. In the fridge was OJ. On the kitchen counter, bottles of vinegar and honey for tea. In a post script, she wrote, "William and Ben left you get well wishes by your door. I wouldn't let them wake you."

I skipped the tea and had some OJ. I stayed up for a little while and then went right back to bed. I think the sleep did me good. I'm still congested but not as much as I was yesterday. Now it seems to be settling in my lungs. But to be on the safe side, I'm going to call my regular doctor Monday. I don't need to go from a sinus infection to bronchitis.

No real plans for the weekend. After I finish my tasks for today at work, I'll stop by Walmart ...or some other store and get some things I need. Then head home. It's times like this when I wished I still had my small apartment. I don't mind taking care of my brother to some extent, but there are times when I wish for solitude.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Stopped by a ladies fashion shop a few blocks from me earlier. Feeling under-the-weather I figured I needed a pick-me-up. So I spurged onthree pairs stockings (One is sheer black with a red lace top, the second pair is nude and the last pair is pearl) and two pairs of thongs with garter attachments. They are neat--something new in the lingerie line. One is a pretty blue and the other is black. I also got a new bra. I may look sick on the outside, but underneath I'll be all sexy, baby.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

about the test

Those questions were really good ones. I confessed the truth--I have cheated on one boyfriend before, back in college-- so if that make me moderately fraudulent.. oh well.. I'm a panderer. I guess I should be more concerned with the violence...lol... so I like movies with chase scenes, car crashes and gun fights... guys with ripped muscles duking it out... shoot me. lol

But I do confess ...I am lusty. I delve into the realms of pleasure wet and ready.

Dante's Inferno Test

The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 2 times.
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Second Level of Hell!

Second Level of Hell
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test

~ ~ ~
Lustful? ME?

Organzing a Road Trip

I've made it an effort the last 6 or so months to try and get away for at least a day. I've been heading north to G-ville and surrounding areas. The trouble with road trips is planning the stops along the way and also figuring out a tour schedule. Since this trip is to delivery signed books to people, I'm finding it hard to co-ordinate my stops. Two of them keep emailing me with changes in their plans. Its a week away and I imagine it will only get worse. If I could stop in for a hour or so at a few of the stops, it would make it easier. But the trouble with that is finding an excuse to leave so soon.

Miss me?

I've been fighting a sinus infection/chest cold. I was afraid it would develop into a serious respiratory infection. But sleep, taking my medicine, drinking lots of fluids and diving into soup has fought it off. I'm not 100%...more like 70%, but its a big improvement from where I was.

This weekend will be a lazy one of me napping, sipping hot tea and watching TV.

I emailed Jeff about this already, so if you by chance read here...you're allowed to skip the rest of this post. lol

I think I confirmed a stereotype about women and clothes today. Yearly, I have the house tested for termites. The guys came by this morning to check the house. When they first arrived, I was in my robe, so I quickly tossed on some jeans and a sweatshirt and answered the door bell. They said they would be back with the paperwork once they were done. I noticed their discreet once-over.

Since it was getting late, I changed into a thin sweater to wear to work---it felt cool out but not cold. Then they knocked on the backdoor to ask me a question. I stepped outside and man, the wind almost knocked me over. I noticed their once-over again. I knew I would be cold in the thin sweater, so I changed into a thicker sweater with a turtleneck under it.

When they were done, they rang the door bell again. I stepped out. Before they said anything, they looked at me and then at each other. lol... I waited until they were out of the driveway and down the road before I took off the choking turtleneck.

I think I should get credit for keeping on the same jeans and shoes.

Profile Photo

As you can see I added a profile photo...its a colored pencil drawing I did, last year or the year before. I think the date's on the photo. I probably will change the image periodically...just for kicks.

I've done a series of nudes too. Those are in oil pastels. I remember leaving one on my kitchen table when I had my apartment--this was during my Allen years. My mom had dropped by. I showed it to her and she was impressed. Al drove up as she was leaving. When he came into the kitchen, he saw the nude sitting on the table.

He gave me a sharp look and then said, "You left this out. I hope your mom didn't see it."

"I showed it to her. She likes it."

He gave an audible gasp, "Your mom saw a naked woman???? Don't you have any respect for her? Nudity is not for parents."

I couldn't believe his attitude. "Art and nudity go back a long time, Al. I don't think its up to me to try and stop it now."

It's funny how Al was/is. He didn't give a second thought to drinking beer or liquor every day of his life...and to smoking pot when the mood hit him. Yet, when it came to nudity and sex, his views were as Baptist as my Granny's are.

Now from the E-files (email)

Below is an email exchange between a casual acquaintance Sandy and myself. A bit of history....she goes thru men like she does her shampoo. She mentions Bonnie who is my fair weather friend and also mentions Allen, although she spelled his name wrong. I met Sandy back in mid 1995. She never was a close friend and I find her to be a ninny.

How does that saying go.. be careful what you ask for! lol

-----Original Message-----
From: Sandy O
Sent: Sunday, February 13, 2005 12:34 AM
To: Sherrie
Subject: hellllllllllllllllllllpppppppppppp sherri

Sherri, this is Sandy. I need your help badly!! Bonnie gave me your email address. She said you write poetry!!! Can you write me a poem to give to my Bay-bee Jayyyyyyyyyy? You know him. He played pool with Alan at Peckers. Its our first Valentine's Day. It HAS to be perfect!!! PLEASSSSSEEEEEEEEEE, Sherri. I'll pay you.
Hugs, kisses and curly q's,
San

----Sherrie wrote:

Hey Sandy... you've got the wrong Sherri/e. My name has an 'e' at the end. It stands for "Excellent or Exquisite" and sometimes it stands for "Equal Opportunity" in extreme circumstances.

-----Sandy O wrote:
SherriE
You are such a bleeping smartass. Can you write me a poem? Time is running out! PLEASSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE. I said I would pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----Sherrie wrote:
What do you want? An ode, a sonnet, a haiku, a cinquain...since you've waited so late I suggest you pick a short form. ~S

-----Sandy O wrote:
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!! Anything will be perfect. Can you write something about a first kiss and a rose? He gave me a rose before he kissed me the first time. Oh I am happyhappyhappy. ThankYOU, SherriE.

----Sherrie wrote:
Here you go:

You gave me a rose
on the first day of
our kiss...

Petals pure red
like the blood
boiling in our
veins with desire.

A rose--red as a heart
given at Valentine's Day,
delicate as a snowflake
on an eyelash.

I wish you had for seen
the eventual rise
of its fall,
as petals dropped
one by one.

-----Sandy O wrote:
Sherri that's not a LOVE POEM. I wanted a LOVE poem!! Not a POEM about a ROSE dying!!!!!!!!! HURRY. TIme is running out!!! I can't believe you wrote a CYINCAL POEM. ITS VALENTINTE'S DAY for PETE'S SAKE.

----Sherrie wrote:
Sandi, one suggestion: Hallmark.

Today... Boxes of Candy

When I got here today, a lady from one of the florist followed me inside with a lovely bouquet of flowers--daises, carnations and pink roses. From an admirer/friend. The card had a goofy poem and a congrats on my book. No secret admirer flowers! This is the first V-day in a few years, where I didn't get a dozen roses from an unknown source. I think the unknown source was Allen. Now that he's moved on, I don't think I'll get any. And yes, I'm glad.

About noonish, I sassayed over to the baker for coffee. My early morning tea had worn off and I needed a pick-me-up. The owner, Miss Gail's sister and her husband were there visiting. I've written about them before. Martha and Jerry. They are the people whose son was murdered last summer.

Jerry had a stroke two years ago. He's recovered but still is child-like in many ways. He always kisses my hand and tries to guess my age. He's on 25 now. lol... he started at 18. He still has a lot of guessing to do if he's going chronologically. Today he asked if I got a box of candy. I said no. I got flowers. He looked disappointed.

I laughed and said, "Well Jerry, I guess we know what ranking you give flowers on Valentine's day? They don't stand a chance against a box of candy."

"I've got Martha a box of candy."

"Did you take a bite out of each piece? That's what I do when I give candy at Valentine's Day. I take a bite out of each piece, so the person I give the candy to won't have to try and guess what's inside each piece. All they have to do is look at the center."

He looked at Martha and said, "She's funny."

Martha said, "Sherrie, don't put ideas in his head."

I figured I would exit, before Martha forbid me to talk to Jerry anymore. I'll teach him bad habits for sure.

When I got back to work with our coffee, Dad was admiring my flowers. The card wasn't put back like I had it, so I knew he had read it. No biggie... he's probably still trying to figure out who they are from. Sometimes mysteries are more fun if they remain mysterious.

I went back to work. Wes from next-door came in with some of our mail. We sometimes have a blonde mail carrier...no other explanation needed. He asked Dad if the flowers were for him, because they couldn't be for me. I was getting Rubies-Diamonds and Pearls (see the post titled Rubies, Diamonds and Pearls). Dad said that they were mine. I heard Wes say, "Whoever sent them must not of gotten the Goddess memo."

Valentine's Day 1987

In Jan of '87, I was introduced to an older man of 42. I met him at Wrongway Corrigan's in Greenville. A bar for the older crowd...at 25, I was at the in-between age where I could fit in at both scenes.

His name was Gary. Tall blonde and handsome, I was surprised he was interested in me. He spent most of January wooing me with dinner, flowers, perfume and other little gifts. I remember right before Valentine's day he said that he wanted to have a special evening and for me to wear something sexy. So I did.

He made dinner--baked chicken and a salad. There was a huge bouquet of roses on the table and a gift bag full of bubble bath, lotion and some perfume--Opium, my favorite. Candles were everywhere and Billie Holiday sang her heart out. The place was a seductive death trap.

In all the dates before this one, he never did more than kiss me. So naturally my ideas of what kind of lover he would be were beyond reality. So when he led me to his bedroom, my heart was pounding and my panties were soaked. He laid me out on the bed and began to slowly massage me with warm oil. When he got to my right hand, he took it and kissed it. He stretched it flat so the palm was smooth and took a vial and dropped some powder onto my palm. Cocaine!!! He snorted it and then put more on my hand and snorted that.

I was shocked. I wasn't into drugs--though I did smoke pot on and off during 84-86. I had never done coke and never have. Well, things went down-hill from there. His cock stayed flaccid. I worked it...he worked it... we both worked it. NOTHING. Ever tried getting a condom on a flaccid dick? Won't work! I told him it wouldn't... he tried but gave up after two tries.

The excuses he came up with..."I must have masturbated too much this morning." "I shouldn't have had all that wine." "Your beauty intimates me."

The real reason was the coke...we both knew it.

The pressure to raise an erection was too much for me. I was so disappointed in him. He had the looks of a Prince Charming, the manners of a King and he turned out to be just the Court Jester.
I made excuses to leave. Got my clothes back on, grabbed my goodie bag...and as I opened my car door, he called from the doorway, "I've lost you, haven't I?"

Even though he looked mournful in his boxers with his blonde hair ruffled, I still had no pity for him. My answer had a double meaning, I imagine it went right over his handsome head.

"You never had me."

What goes around..comes around

Back in the early 90's.... "Sweating to the Oldies" by Richard Simmons was popular. My aunt Shirley (my dad's sister) bought a video. One day in the early 90's, I went over there to visit and ask her opinion on an oil painting I had done for an exhibit. She's an artist--I get my talent from her. In fact she gave me my first sketch kit when I was 6 and my first set of oils when I was 10. I walked into her den and she was sitting on the couch with a huge bowl of popcorn and sipping a Pepsi. She told me to "have a seat." I did. For a few mins I watched the video.

"Aunt Shirley, isn't this an exercise video?"

"Yes, its Richard Simmons. I love it. Watch the girl in the black. She looks like she's having fun. Want some popcorn?" She offered me the bowl.

"Hmm, no thanks. Aren't you suppose to exercise with it?"

"Yes, but I like to watch it better."

I left not long after and when I got in the car I sat at the wheel for a minute, laughing at the image of her sitting on the couch with her legs propped on the coffee table, munching on popcorn while Richard S sweated to the oldies.

Last night, I kept the nephews for a while. They were playing in the kitchen. I microwaved some popcorn, put my feet up on the couch and turned on the VCR. A few minutes later, the nephews came into the den to see what was on and to raid the popcorn bag. Mom came in at about that time.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

William answered, "Watching girls dance, Nana."

Ben said, "me too." His words were muffled due to a mouth full of popcorn.

Mom looked at me, strangely. "Sherrie, is that an exercise tape?"

"Yes, its Hip-hop. Mary gave it to me. She doesn't like it. Sit down. Have some popcorn."

"But aren't you suppose to exercise to it?"

"Yes, but right now we like to watch these chicks get down. Don't we boys?"

See.... what goes around, comes around.

Spent about 30 mins while I had coffee and cleaned out my email files. I tend to stuff email in various files with the purpose of getting back to them later and rarely do.

In one file I found some old email and IM exchanges between my dear deceased friend Dan. He died young of colon cancer... I dedicated my book to him. I read over them and felt embraced by his presence. In this life, we tend to meet people and make them friends for a while. Then, something happens and they are out of your life. How ever-changing our minutes are, as we live day to day!

I read Dan's warm words. Our funny banter. Our nicknames for each other. His teasing me and my teasing him. I read our sorrow at life's curve balls and how they stung when we were hit by a stray one. I smiled at his encouragement of my writing and how he thought I was one of the most talented and brightest women he had ever met. I agreed again with my advice to him regarding what women want and that I believed he would one day conquer the devastation of his divorce.

Time eases pain. As I read, I didn't cry or feel as if couldn't breathe because I couldn't talk to him in the flesh. I smiled at the memories and the gift of a friendship that was accepting and so encouraging in this age of thoughtlessness and cruelty.When I hold my book in my hand, I think of how I would never have begun writing prose, if he hadn't of encouraged me. Writing prose led me to writing poetry... Dan's subtle touch started the process that has taken me to such satisfying and rewarding heights that at times I can't see the universe from above.

I miss Dan daily. Nothing can change that. But I have the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, the pink of azaleas and the aura of peaceful sleep to remind me in many ways that Dan will always be a part of my life with his subtle touch.

Rubies, Diamonds and Pearls

I dropped off a signed poetry book to the store next-door yesterday. I gave it to Wes. Told him to take it home and read it before his dad put it in his showcase. He got a call.

As I waited for him to finish, I noticed their new employee was staring at me. He's been with them a few months now and I swear that kid is hard to crack. Nothing I say warms him up.

So I pulled out the big ammo..."If I rent a Tuxedo does a guy come with it?"

Bullseye!

He broke. Couldn't answer my question because he was laughing so hard. I said, "Best find out. It's important to know these things."

Wes finished his call and began leafing through my book. "Hey I can write some of your verses on my Hallmark Valentine's cards."

"Sure, they're guarenteed to seduce. Especially page 66."

He flipped to it, read it and then with a surprised look on his face asked the smart question of the day: "Did you write this?"

"Whose name is on the book, Wes?"

That was yesterday. Today Wes dropped in for a minute to ask Dad something. I teased him, "Hey Wes, where's my Valentine?"

"Valentine? You're early, woman. It's not til Monday."

He talked to Dad for a few minutes. I kept on working. When they finished, it was Wes's turn to ask me a question. "How many men are sending you dozens of roses Monday?"

"No roses. I'm getting Rubies, Diamonds and Pearls. See, when you're a published lady poet men deem you a Goddess. I expect nothing less than jewels for Valentine's Day."

All he could say before he left was, "Oh Hell."

After he left Dad said, "That's the first time I've seen Wes speechless."

tattoo

Man walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo.

Tattoo artist: " What kind of tattoo do you want ?"

Man: "I want the new $100 dollar bill tattooed on my penis."

Tattoo artist: "Why?"

Man: "3 reasons: 1. I like to play with my money 2. I like to see my money grow 3. Next time the wife wants to go out and blow $100 she can stay at home."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~
speaking of a tattooed penis...I would be so mesmerized by the tattoo I would forget what the purpose of a penis is!!! In fact, I've got a photo somewhere hidden on my PC of a penis with a Scorpion tattooed on it... now... that would be quite the 'sting' I think.

Another Sher-Mix

I made another music CD of some of my favorite songs. Thought I would bore you with it. lol

1) Mustang Sally
By Wilson Picket
yea my first car was a 1976 Ford T-bird. White and soooo sweet. But I still love this song the best. I request it every April when the Coastline Band plays at our Lunchtime on the Plaza.

2) The Best was Yet to Come
by Bryan Adams
I like his first two albums. This song is one of my favs. I think it's a good "I love you" song.

3) With or Without You.
By U2
Yes, they have other songs that are better. But I love this one the best, even if its not one of their best-- because of the video. I like the part where Bono puts his hands up over his head as if they are tied together, because I can just imagine tying him up and doing whatever I want with him. lol

4) By The Way
By the Red Hot Chili Peckers... hmm Peppers
Any band that has the balls to wear a sock on their cock and perform music live... well they deserve a spot on the Sher-Mix

5) Don't Cum Around Here No More
By Tom Petty
Reminds me of a guy I dated who worked at the Elbo room. His 2nd to favorite song...his first being the theme song of the movie..."The Good, The Bad & The Ugly."

6) Stay (I Missed You)
By Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories
She wears glasses too!

7) You Outta Know
By Alanis Morissette
Got to include an Angry Chick song. This one rules because she's a dirty girl...much like me.
I like the part where she says "When I rake my nails down someone else's back...can you feel it?" OH yea... now that's one fucking connection.

8) Ants Marching
By Dave Matthews Band
This tune is so catchy. I love it. Used to play it several times a night when I hit Peckers sports bar.

9) Dancing in the Dark
By Bruce Springsteen
I think I drove Jeff Diamond crazy with this one. I would request it at Rafters and he would say something like... "That's not one of his best songs..." and he would play the next song instead...

10) Pink Cadillac
By Bruce Springsteen
DJ JD won... this song is now my fav Bruce song.

11) My Prerogative
By Bobby Brown
This song jams. Charles and I rocked to it on the way to his beach house every weekend in whatever year it was a hit. lol...my mind is fuzzy on that.

12) Jump, Jive and Wail
By Brian Seltzer Orchestra
I like ole Brian... his swing song wails, baby.

13) Plush
By Stone Temple Pilots
A great song to sketch too.

14) Hey Jude
By the Beatles
A good song to end the second Sher-Mix CD.

Year of the Cock

....I mean Rooster..

Today is the Chinese Lunar New Year.

It's the Year of the Cock.

I mean Rooster.

I was born in the Year of the Tiger.

I am a Tigress... I devour Cock..

I mean rooster.

lol.. yum

Happy Mardi Gras! Can I throw you some beads?

Throw me some... I'll flash my breasts.


( @ )( @ )

Let's have a parade... let's paaaaaaaarty....

Where did everyone go?

If I Could Sing a Song

I wish I could sing a song
that made the cosmos light up
so that Saturn appears
over the tops of the pines
and you could see the lyrics
on the rings.
Oh, such a gift to give
to you, my love.

Instead, all I can accomplish is
a poem, gray and tortured
like livid black clouds
over a tumultuous sea,
waves crashing into each other;
emotional overload, as words
tumble from the tip of my pen.

I cannot sing for you, my love
but if you look into the satin lining
of the sinister clouds tormenting
the reflection of the sea,
you will find the words of my poem.
Read them and I promise
a ray of light will break the storm,
coloring the sea with love.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I love the sea more than I love the cosmos and even more than I love music.

In the Night, You Whistle

In the night, you whistle
as I strum a guitar.
The melodies crash
and we are out of synch.
Stars are clouded
making it impossible
to read the music sheet.

“Patience,” you say.
“Listen,” I reply
and begin to let my fingers
stumble over the strings.

I play my heart,
as you whistle softly.
I assemble patience and you listen
until our divided tunes
merge into a love song;
One that if practiced enough
will be our song.
Now play me, my love,
as I whistle sighs in your ear.

~ ~ ~
Part Neruda and Part Guns & Roses ... their song "Patience" was playing as I wrote this.

Time and Hope

Time erodes the surface of Saturn,
even as it adds a satin sheen to its rings.
We walk a path sown with celestial beings,
weeping jewels mistaken for stars.
Lost souls make wishes upon them,
as they solemnly seek darkness.
There is hope, we always say,
as night claims us and the universe
always misunderstood tries to steal
our kisses before they touch the evening star.
Time and hope are our constellations.
Love will keep them in sight as they dim.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~
Strong influence by Pablo Neruda. My love for the sky is evident.

PMS and Poetry

Sorry for the ramble last night... between being extremely sensitive due to PMS and also overwhelmed with poetry, I got carried on an emotional winged bird of BS.

lol... now its back to comics, horoscopes and the quest for the perfect cock.

Roads Not Traveled

I wonder often about the roads not taken. I assume I'm not the only one who does that. I always think of the road before me as one-way, in the same direction with different paths that sometimes intertwine... and sometimes not. But its still the same direction, just different experiences found on each path. Only, I can't experience them all. I have to choose which path to take and hope that it's the best one in the long run.

No matter which path is taken, there is always that little doubt that it's the right one. There is always a big 'What if I had..." lurking in the back of my mind.

Those decisons on the paths we take make us who we are. It's the paths not taken that make us question ourselves.

Past Super Bowl Parties

When I think back to all the parties I've been too, only a few stand out. Isn't that the way it usually is though? It's like Christmas parties or birthdays... you know you had them but the details tend to blur away... until you see photos or something to jar your memories.

I don't remember much of last year's SB party...just that everyone was pulling for the Panthers...and they lost. I do remember a delicious dip that had a hint of dill in it and some smoked salmon that way yummi-licous.

The two parties that stand out the most are from 1986 and 1998.

Super Bowl XX Chicago vs NE

And the Bears kicked ass! It was my last semester at ECU. And half the girls on my floor at Greene Dorm were Delta Sigma Phi li'l sisters. I wasn't. Why? Because I refused to sleep with one of the 'Brothers' so I could become a li'l sister. No thanks--they weren't my type...but they did throw good parties. So here I am... forced to go to their Super Bowl party. I wasn't looking forward to it, because the last time I had been over at the Frat house, one of the guys had called me frigid because I declined his offer to show me his balls. See... I had already seen them a few weeks before when he decided to streak through the Frat house wearing nothing but a necktie. I wasn't impressed enough to view them again. But I went to the party.

I remember wearing a black denim mini skirt, black tights, boots and a red sweater. The li'l sisters I went with all had on Chicago sweatshirts except for one... she was a Yank. When we got to the party one of the brothers that I got along with, Andy...saw my sweater and said.."That won't do." He left for a few mins and came back with a Chicago sweatshirt. It was so huge. I remember that it almost covered my mini skirt. The girls scattered and I was alone with the keg and a few of the guys watching the game in the kitchen. I took over the 'pumping' job at the keg. My favorite lines to say as I filled up plastic cups with beer were..."A little head or a lot?" ..."Let me pump it." and "Want me to blow your head?" <--only used when there was more foam than beer. It was so much fun though...and the game was exciting. My voice was hoarse the next day. After the party, we all went downtown to celebrate. It was very ironic ...the sweatshirt. About a week or so later, I went with one of the girls over to the Frat house. She had to drop something off. I had Andy's sweatshirt--washed and folded neatly. While she did what she had to do, I went into the room where they all hung out at and found Andy. I gave him his sweatshirt and hugged him. Telling him how much I appreciated him letting me wear it. I guess the other guys forgot I was at the party and that he had given it to me to wear (I think that's the reason the Bears won--I wore a sweatshirt..lol) ... anyway, the guys assumed Andy and I had sex sometime recently... and they were nicer to me after that. LOL... what ninnies! Super Bowl XXII Denver VS Green Bay

Allen and I hosted a party. He was still in the Charlotte area.... well south of it. York, SC. He invited a bunch of his Charlotte area buddies. It was a small crowd of around 15 or so. I made some killer hors d'oeuvres. I was forced to hang out with the women though. Strange how the sexes were so divided at that party. The women sat in the kitchen, looking at a Cosmo mag I had brought with me. None of them ventured into the den to watch the game. I kept going in there to see the score and to tease the guys... I was pulling for Denver. Most of them were for Green Bay, including Al. He seemed proud of that though. Having my own mind and own opinion about things met with Al's approval. He would brag to his friends that his lady was bright and could use her mind.

What he didn't like was me reading Cosmopolitian magazines! He said that the articles made me think too much like a woman!!! And he would get prodded after I read the articles. Which wasn't true. I would prod him anyway.... mainly because he wasn't very open with communications unless it was about him or something he needed. Let me mention that I was unhappy or that I needed something from him--even if it was just for him to listen to me talk...he would changed the subject.

Damn..got off the subject. Since I got off the subject, I'll go over another one right fast...a succulent guy just came in for a passport. Tall, black hair, an aquiline nose, black eyes and a big white smile... I see a poem cumming.. I mean coming. lol.. Dad's not here so the guy is going to work out and then come back after 4. ...I can think of a work out that would benefit both of us. Damn... where's my come-hither lipstick...

Ok...back to the subject. The party was fun. Even if I was stuck in the kitchen a lot of the time. Scott, Al's friend from Lumberton who was living with him in Charlotte for a while, was a ladies' man. Scott spent as much time in the kitchen, helping me as he did with the guys. He kept bending over, so the girls would look at his ass. I confess...at that time it was something worth viewing. Even I eyeballed it. After he walked out of the kitchen towards the end of the night, I told the women that it was too bad I didn't have bread to bake, because with Scott in the kitchen it would have risen all by itself. lol

But the Broncs won and I was one of the few people gloating. After the game was over and all the guests were gone, Al had me sit on his lap. He stroked my hair and kept telling me how great of a hostess I was. How the party was the best and that even if I cheered for the wrong team (albeit the winning team), it didn't matter, because I was the best and his lady.

To think... a year and 1 month later, I would be ending the relationship.

Yea... Super Bowl games... gotta love 'em.

Weekend Update

I hope the rest of February is as great as my weekend was!

Friday night I went to dinner with two of my girlfriends...we hit the male strip show afterwards. I wasn't prepared...meaning I didn't have a lot of $ bills on me. One of the girls hadn't ever been to a show and when we pulled up at Cagney's she read the sign that said "Male Reveue Show" she said, "That sign doesn't say male strippers. It says male reveue. We're at the wrong place."
Too funny. Needless to say ...she went wild in there. Every time one of them would make his way to our table I would excuse myself until he was gone. lol... its not that I'm cheap...I'm not. Both these guys looked all of 16 and had peach fuzz instead of hair. I realize that many women have the 'teacher/student' fantasy. I think its too much work to have to instruct a guy how to fuck/lick properly. If I'm going to do that... hell, I'll get a submissive guy and become a Domme. lol....that way if he doesn't do it right after 3 times, I can punish him. I'm sure after that, he'll listen better. lol... hey, can we say 'Safe word'?

Sat morning I had the nephews for a while. I made them football shaped pancakes. Ben wouldn't eat them. He wanted 'ballbats' ..his word for baseballs. So I made some for him. After that we played on the computer until Mom came over. She took charge of them so I could go to work. I worked for a few hours. We were slow and some of Dad's buddies dropped in. They kill me... when Bush talks only about the Iraq situation--they diss him because he's ignoring the home front. Last week Bush gave a speech about social security reforms, and what did dad and his cronies do Sat?....why the dissed Bush for not mentioning much about Iraq. Double-edged sword, my friend. After listening for 30 or so minutes, I decided to leave. Was done with all my work for Monday. Went to a few stores after work and then home.

Had a dinner date for 7.... but he was late. Didn't show up until 8:30 due to work or something. By then I was ready to tell him it was too late to go out but...I was hungry and so we went to a nice Mexican place. I had a Mex salad of some sort with chicken. I can't remember the name of it. But it was good. After dinner, he dropped me off and I changed clothes and went out...one word "Karaoke." I didn't sing but it was fun watching drunks who thought they could. One guy even had a stage name... "Mr. Smooth"..he sang Barry White songs... I hate to be a ball buster but, his name should have been "Mr. Crackle." His voice kept cracking.

Then... Sunday. I slept in. The first Super Bowl party started at 4. I went for a few hours. Half the crowd was drunk before 5?????!!!! I was glad to get out of there. I couldn't imagine staying the whole game. But I had to make an appearence. The people hosting it were friends of mine and my brother. Since he couldn't drop in, I had too. The second party was more like my style. Everyone was either drinking soda or water. There were TV's in almost every room and the refreshments were toothsome. I was able to be a social butterfly and visit different rooms without missing much of the game. But don't tell anyone this...in one of the bedrooms upstairs a few of the women were watching the Charmed marathon on TNT. I watched parts of it too.

Who did I pull for? Secretly I pulled for the Eagles. Mostly everyone was for NE. I wasn't surprised that they won. Why did I pull for the Eagles? This may sound silly but I've got a DVD for the nephews. Its called Backyard Football basics. Its from the Backyard Kids game series. William has the baseball game. The DVD that I'm talking about has Pro football players explaining football and its rules. Donovan McNabb is one of them. William and Ben think he's great. yeah.. they're only kids. But when we see him on tv, especially those Campbell soup commercials, the boys yell "Aunt Sherrie, its Donodon McNabbs."

I got home by 11:30. I taped Carnivale and Nip/Tuck. I guess you know what I'll be doing tonight.

Jealous Winter

Winter's chilly fingers dance
across my memories of summer
and its warm coconut scents.
Do you remember the way
the moon smiled up at us
as we danced rings
around Saturn and wrote
our name on the Milky Way?
I wonder why winter is so jealous
of the soft satin of summer
that still clings to my eyelashes
like golden sunlight in the morning?
We must have made a devilish
impression with the tease of our laughter
and the temptation we gave to the stars
as we kissed under the cape of night.
Winter shouldn't be so jealous,
for its coldness is the reason
we find ourselves hiding under covers
and warming up our nights.

~ ~ ~ ~
A poem I plan to use in my second poetry book, "Saturn and Satin."

wow... a breather

I took in a huge rush job yesterday before leaving work. One I didn't really want to do in a hurry... the photos are all wallet size and are worn from being in a man's wallet for years. Lots of marred areas.. and I mean lots. I did 2 (there are 7 of a young girl) and they aren't turning out that great because the face on the pictures is so damaged I can't see detail. So I did these 2 and and printed out the others so he can see what I'm talking about. He doesn't need them til next Wed. I think he's moving or something. I'm going to try and convince him to call around and see if someone has copies. I can do the copies faster and he'll have better prints. He's stopping by after 4.

So I'm taking a moment to write.

I have a very busy weekend planned. Tonight I'm going to dinner with a girlfriend and her sister. The sister is visiting from Wilmington and I haven't seen her in ages. I used to head that way at least twice a month but never do now. I know my Wilmington friends have given up on me.

Tomorrow I work til 4. Then I'm going on a dinner date. I had plans to go to Wilson to see Liv but I canceled them because I forgot I had committed my self to this date. Much as I would prefer to go elsewhere...I kinda got myself backed into a corner.

Sunday I am going to have lunch with my own sister and then go to two SuperBowl parties. One for the pre-game shows and then I'll slip over to the other and watch the actual game. Both parties are within blocks of each other.

Somewhere in there I need to do some laundry. lol Maybe I can take it with me to the parties and say, "Hey can I do my laundry while we watch the game festivities?"
Sure that would go over well.

Rainy Thirstday

its rainy and I'm thirsty. haha... badddddddd joke

And boy is the rain cold. I've been extremely busy this afternoon. Working on some hand tints and dealing with customers. Dad is at a photo session for one of the local high schools. Its been peaceful when its not been busy. I think that's why I have gotten so much done today.

Let's see what's been happening today (or yesterday for that matter) that's blog worthy.

Donny Osmond is back to priority status in my email inbox. I noticed this afternoon that I opened his newsletter before addressing anyone else's email. Way to go Donny....keep up the good work. Now...get naked and...sing "Puppy Love" to me.

Did a good deed yesterday. The local deaf/mute beggar was standing in the cold with a hurt leg and I gave him a ride to a store. Wasn't out of my way. First thing he did when he got in the truck was to motion for a pen and paper. I had a pen but no paper. He found a napkin and wrote on it... I thought he was writing where he wanted to go but he was asking for 50 cents. I told him I didn't have it. I didn't ...I had no change on me...plus he just got his check for the month... and also if you give him any money he'll worry you to death for more. ... I wrote back to him, asking where he wanted to go...he wrote "Bo's." Its was only two blocks out of my way....which I could handle. On the way there, I hit a pothole and he had the nerve to make fun of my driving. lol...what's up with that??

Saw Hide & Seek at the theatre Tues nite. It was unsatisfying. The plot had holes in it and if I could have gotten my money back I would have. I won't spoil it for you guys... but my advice is to wait for the DVD.

Working on the manuscript for my final submission of my second poetry book --Saturn and Satin. The contract's on the way but I figure I should go ahead and get it in order as to how I want it printed, so that the delivery time will be cut short. I've asked Romeo Blue (my friend Sam's pen name) to write the afterword for it. I've collaborated with him on one of his poetry ventures and figured he wouldn't mind contributing to mine. I am changing some of the poems though. I added a few of older ones I had written in 2001. I think my writing is much better now.


Oh yea...almost forgot... Charles my ex-fiance called. I was right. He asked me out. I am soooo over him. I laughed and said NO... so fast his head spun...and not the one he wanted to 'spin.'
I should write some Charlie stories. Lord Knows, I have 6 yrs worth.

The truth be told...he wouldn't like me now. I would be more demanding and not put up with his shit...plus... I've got dildos bigger than his cock. Why go back to beanie weinies when I can have prime rib.

On a softer note... I now own a pair of crocodile leather boots. Wonder if I'll be allowed crocodile tears?

Joke

Two Elderly ladies were sitting on a park bench one fine spring afternoon, enjoying the weather. An even elderly man noticed them and thought to himself, "why I should give those old girls a cheap thrill!" So he removes all his clothes and streaks by them.

The women watched his snail like run with mouths dropped in amazement. One turns to the other and asks, "Ethel, what was that?"

"I don't know, Irish. But whatever it was, it needs ironing."

Girl Talk (Adult Topics--so beware)

Met my friend Mary and one of her co-workers for lunch yesterday. I had coffee. We chatted a while and Mary asked me about my exercise class. She said she could tell I was toning...that my face looked smaller. I told her what I was doing and she said it was too much work. I pointed out that 20-30 minutes 3 times a week would make a difference in how she felt. (She complains about having no energy). Then I told her to start eating yogurt instead of ice cream or at least get sugar-free ice cream. Her reply was 'That's like fucking with condoms. Its not the same.

So opened the door to "Girl Talk."

I sat back and listened. I didn't really know the co-worker. She and Mary began a conversation about sex. They covered much ground. But what got me was when the co-worker said, "I don't give blow jobs." I looked over at Mary, who knows much about my sexual appetites. My eyebrows were raised and I gave her an over-the-top-of-my-glasses-look which screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Mary shrugged her shoulders at me and dived right in with the question, "Why not?"

To protect the faint of heart that might stumble by this blog, I'll soften the co-worker's reply to...hmmm...unpleasant odors.

Mary's reply to that was "breathe through your mouth." The co-worker couldn't grasp that concept and miraculously time had sped by and I had to get back to work.

I mused over how easy it was for the co-worker to talk so bluntly in front of a woman she didn't know. I've never been able to do that--except in my blogs. I have to really know a person--feel as if I can trust them before I tell sexual information--whether about someone or about my own self. If you know my secrets, what kind of toys I use and the fact I have an oral fetish, then you should be honored because that means I value your friendship, that I can be myself around you and that I trust you with the complexity of myself.

I trust Mary. She's probably my closest real life friend. She knows my secrets and my fears...she knows what makes me happy and sad. In a second she can tell from my voice if I am having a good day or a bad one.

Saturday night when I was out at the sports bar, I sat at the bar with a couple of women whose boyfriends/husbands were playing pool. One of their husbands came up to check on them and as soon as he was gone, they started talking about his ass. Yes, it looked nice and I silently agreed. But around that time, the bartender came up to check on us. He's a flirt with blue eyes and a pierced tongue. As soon as he walked off, the women started a conversation about pierced tongues, clits and how they go together. I couldn't add to the conversation because I have never experienced a pierced tongue...yet if I had would I have contributed? No. I didn't know them that well and too many ears were close by. I like to keep a low-key sexual profile around here. Small towns tend to know more than they should anyway.

I had a conversation with JS...an online friend I chat with sometimes on yahoo messenger. I've known him since May 2001. And he is one of the few men (online and in real life) whom I can be bluntly honest with. I don't worry about sounding like a whore or if I'll offend him. He always manages to make me laugh. Below is part of our conversation from yesterday:

Sherrie : I think I am in love with John Mayer...yea.. that came out of left field I know. I have a friend who does that to me all the time

j s: I think you should wait until you've had him in your ass before you make that kind of statement

Sherrie : lol... ever had a day where you've had crazy conversations????? its been that kind of day for me

j s: so, you came looking for me...I understand noooowwwww....you're looking to just keep the ball(s) rolling

Sherrie : you always manage to keep it interesting

Sherrie : a friend called and asked me if the Outback had buffet!!!!!

j s: they do...jimmy's brother is playing there this week
j s: I think his name is Lunch

Sherrie : he heeeee.... she then asked. "Can me and my 'beau' eat for $10? I've got a gift certificate." (She's an old high school friend)

j s: well, he can have a bloomin onion and she can kneel between his legs...that way, they can both eat for $10

Sherrie : you must have had razor soup for lunch! Your wit's sharp today.

j s: why thank you... actually, I had the seared grouper in a tomato, mushroom basil sauce over pasta

Sherrie : yum sounds... met a friend of mine and her coworker for lunch
Sherrie : the coworker doesn't do blowjobs
Sherrie : women are as bad as some men about sex talk

j s: zakly....well then...she has the bloomin onion and he can kneel between her legs
j s: this is an equal opportunity deal

Sherrie : a different woman

j s: and incidentally, I think women are worse with sex/partners talk

Sherrie : I agree...did you notice I said 'some men'

j s: I've talked to women the day after...and there's nothing sacred. I usually don't divulge details

Sherrie : I've become more sacred about details

j s: I mean...they're down to the funny way his cock bent when it was erect

Sherrie : yep and how his balls hang

j s: I don't think I've ever had a conversation with a man about what her pussy lips looked like

Sherrie : I think I will write about that in my blog..

j s: I now feel like I accomplished something today...I inspired a blog entry

~~ ~ ~ ~~
j s is right though. I don't know any man who has told me sexual details of encounters unless he was a trusted lover who shared them with me. Well, there were a few exceptions like the gay guys I know...but they're more like women than they are men.

When I watched Sex and the City and I related to everything they said over lunch/dinner and almost every conversation those women have has some sort of sexual comment in it. I would watch and say, "Oh MY GOD... we've talked about that before."

I wonder if I'll have Girl Talks when I'm too old to even think about sex???

Gray Groundhog Day

I had a crazy day yesterday. You know the kind where people make you stop and say .."WTF????"

I even started a long post about it but due to computer problems I never finished it. Funny how one day can be so different than the next one.

Yesterday I spent most of it laughing...today I'm spending most of it in contemplation--morbid self-absorption.

It is cold out...and very gray. I've got a chill that goes straight to my bones.

No shadow's around here. Just cold and gray and I'm in a blah mood. I told Dad we shouldn't complain about the cold, after all it is winter.

Got good news. PA accepted my second book-- Saturn and Satin. The contract is on its way. I hope it will be out by Christmas. Would make some great Christmas gifts...hey where's my modesty??? I think I will still do a short poem book. Dedicate it to the nephews. I'll have to look thru all my paper scribbles I've got in a box and find them. That will take a good year to do. I lost the original file when the PC crashed.

Went to see Hide & Seek. IT sucked. Lots of holes in the plot. I was disappointed in it..though Robert DeNiro does a great job. I wanted my money back.

Heard from my almost mother-in-law today. She got news of my book and had to call. I always get in a funk after dealing with her. She said she called Charles (my ex-fiance) and that he said he was going to ring me about it. I don't want a ring. hahahaaaa. I dread that call. He'll ask to see me. Always does.

Life is good but sometimes, one can still feel cold steel on the vein at the wrist. I hope everyone's day is better than mine.

Groundhog Day

It's official... Phil saw his dick. More cold weather.

But according to DJ Jeff Diamond:

"he came out of the hole saw Donald Trump and he said...'you're fired'...6 more weeks of unemployment."