Tuesday, June 10, 2008

If they get a foot in the door.... RUN

abandon everything and run for the hills...or swamp...any F'ng where...

I was in the shower about 30 or more mins ago. So refreshing to be able to take a long luxurious shower in the morning, scrubbing every inch of your body. Ah how refreshing!

As I dried my wet body, I looked in the mirror at my tank top tan and cursed it. Now I can't wear spaghetti straps until I have a chance to even it out ...but the most curse-able part of it all is that I wasn't planning on getting a tan because of the aging factor and at my age aging is a factor.

I hear a little tap tap sound and stood stock still, ears perked up like a cute lovable floppy ear puppy detecting the sound of kibbles hitting his dinner bowl. Was that someone at the door? I threw on a tee shirt and shorts, grabbed a towel for my hair and my comb and then trotted down the hall to the backdoor.

My main fear was that my great-uncle had stopped by to chastise me for something he thought he told me to do. But there was no one at the door. I heard it again. "Tap Tap Tap"...

I went into the den and peeped out the venetian blinds...and saw a strange SUV in front of the house. I surveyed the outside and saw to my puzzlement a mingle of different races of people--African Americans, White Americans, Native American Americans and Hispanics, all toting Bibles, pamphlets and a determination that would deter Terrorism if our Government would employ it.

JEHOVAH WITNESSES! On a weekday....

Then I heard a voice that said, "I think I see someone inside."

I had been spotted by the 'tapper.' And I made my Mom proud by desperately looking around for a quick hiding place and plastered myself to the wall between the TV set and the arm chair. Luckily, I wore a white Tee and it blended perfectly with the white wall... I prayed that the rest of me would look like some sort of weird wall art.

They would not leave! They kept tapping and tapping...and tapping....and I thought "What the hell am I doing?" But I still didn't move.

It all comes back to conditioning!

When I was a little pony-tailed girl playing outside with a doll, they would drive up in station wagons. I would call to Mom or Granny "We got compy." They would look out and then in the voice they gave when I did stuff I shouldn't, "Come inside NOW." I would run in and the doors would be slammed shut and locked. The adults forbade me to make a sound.

That's how my family dealt with Jehovah Witness. Once when I was around nine or ten, we went to visit my step grandfather who had just gotten out of the hospital after having some sort of illness. The house was full of visitors and he was sitting in his favorite chair by the fireplace. My sister and I were quietly playing with dolls in the corner of the room.

Someone let in a horde of Bible carrying people. I didn't recognize any of them. And presumed they were from our Church or a neighboring church and I dismissed them by continuing to play games. Which lasted all of 3 seconds, when my step grandfather realized who they were, he began to shout and curse, telling them to get the HEll out of his house or he was going to get his shotgun.

It took ten people to keep him in his seat and even more to get the Jehovah Witnesses out of the house. At that moment I realized just how evil they were---because my step grandfather was the pillar of our community, church and world. He was the most Godliest man I knew at that time in my life and for him to use words I've never heard, then these people must be the Anti-Christ.

Then when I was in the fifth grade, a girl in my class told us that she couldn't say the pledge of allegiance anymore or celibrate Christmas or Easter, because her family had joined the Jehovah Witnesses. I was appalled! She was doomed to hell. So began the conflict within...if this religion was so bad why was she such a good person and why did such a good person join them?

As I grew older, I became more involved in our church--spitfire Baptists--and studied the Bible. I sang in the choir and directed the children's choir. Eventually I was given a Sunday School class (5 and 6 yr olds) and I felt strong in my faith.

All during my school years, I was known as the nicest, quietest smartest girl in my grade. I don't know if that was true...I think I just applied myself more than others. But getting back to the story...in the 10th grade I took Geometry. We had an easy teacher who showed us how to do the equations Mon and Tues, then on Wed and Thurs we worked practice questions. Friday was the test day. About four people sat close to me and I would help them do their practice questions and we would be done by Wed and have Thursday to do nothing as long as it was done quietly.

One of the people was the girl who was a Jehovah Witness and I was determined to save her soul. The first debate was between she and I.... as the others watched. She had been schooled well in her faith as I was...for every thing I pointed out, she had an answer and vice versa. After a few weeks, some of the others joined in, allying themselves with me. We spent that whole year debating--neither side winning.

Then the following summer, a horde of Jehovah Witnesses showed up at our door. I was ready for them and very eager to take them on. Instead of running, I stepped outside and began to debate their 'new world' theory. My sister--the traitor told my Mom what was up and she demanded I come back inside. So I did. Boy was she livid with anger at me. I was suppose to HIDE not Confront them.

And over the years, I've taken a nicer approach to them. When they caught me unawares I would politely tell them I was a Baptist and close the door. Once when William was just a baby and was at my house. They came by. Mom was there. We had the sliding glass door (now gone) open so William could see the birds. When Mom saw them she yelled, "Hide." We hide in the breakfast knook.

Here we are, two very grown women hiding in the breakfast knook while little baby William was in his electric swing facing the sliding glass door and staring at the people tapping on the glass. I said in a horrified shocked voice, "We left William!!!" How could we abandon a baby to the horros of JW's! Why we were monsters, I say MONSTERS.

Mom said, "He'll be ok. They will leave when they realize no one's home."

Huh? "Mom," I said, "they know someone's here. Come on, who's leaves a 4 month old baby alone! This is ridiculous--hiding from Jehovah Witnesses."

But eventually they left. And since then we haven't had that many until today. And there I was, reverting back to the days of hide and seek. As I stood plastered against the wall, I realized that just maybe old habits really are hard to break.


Stephen B said...

What would happen if a gang of JWs ran into a pack of those young Mormon missionaries? Would there be a rumble over the turf, like the Sharks and the Jets? Knife-wielding Witnesses? Chain-swinging missionaries?

Bob said...

Hmmm, interesting thought, Steve... is the Book of Mormon heavier than some copies of The Lighthouse?

John said...

I usually offer some form of..."Sure I'll come to church with you, if you come to my church with me first." That usually gets the desired level of disinterest and disappearing.