I called in for jury instructions last night and the recorded voice said:
"Attention all jurors, this is the Clerk of Court. Those jurors who started their jury duty on May 19, 2008 are now excused for duty. You have completed your responsibility to the county. Do not report in tomorrow. You will not have to serve on jury duty for two years. Thank you. This tape will self-destruct in 5..4..3..2..1 seconds. (Boom)."
So very groovy. I'm done and have no worries for the next couple of years.
Our landlord dropped by the studio yesterday and told Dad that the building was under negotiations and might be sold soon. As soon as he left, Dad came charging round the corner to where I was and asked if I heard what was said. I did.
What kills me the most about this situation is how Dad acts like he's just heard the news! The man told us in early August that he was going to sell all the buildings he owns. Hell, he's in his early 80's...and his health is bad. I would too under the circumstances.
Dad said, "I don't know what we're gonna do."
I took a deep breath, because even though I told him this before doesn't mean he took me seriously. "Dad, I'm actively looking for another job. It's time I got out on my own and did something different. I've spent 19 years with the studio and I feel a little burned out."
He didn't say anything. I really believe this is the first time he's actually heard what I said.
"You can work out of your home, doing commerical work and wedding. Heck Dad, you could even put a building out there? It's not far from town and think of the money you could save? I can do my restorations on the side at home. I've got a list of my clients."
He still didn't say anything. Funny how you ramble inside uncomfortable silences. So I said, "I've got a lot of skills. I can get a good job that pays more that we're making right now. And if it doesn't work out, then I can start a restoration business full time or even work in Fayetteville. There are a lot of jobs there that I qualify for."
Finally he said, "You could get your teaching certificate."
I shot that idea down. "No way...I am too old to teach and that's not what I want to do."
He frowned and said, "I hate this is happening. I don't want to work out of my home. I feel like a failure. What will people say?"
"A FAILURE??? You aren't a failure. If the studio suddenly started putting out bad work or you launched a new champaign to bring in business and it bombed...then maybe you would be a failure. You aren't ... in fact you should be proud of the fact that the studio hasn't closed sooner. Look at all the studios that were once opened but have closed down because of lack of business. We can't help that a new era in photography hit us, Dad. The public can get the same camera as professionals can. There's little use for studios now, except commerical work or daycare and weddings..oh and restorations. We're the 'Horse and buggy' of our time...once automoblies arrived...they almost became obsolete... soon we will be too. It's time to do something different."
I was surprised he didn't interrupt me...but I think he knew this already and wanted to milk some sympathy out of the situation. My brother and sister say he's trying to make me feel guilty for moving on... maybe, but the guilt isn't going to work. I've paid my dues long ago and it's time for Shere to fly away.
All of her days have gone soft and cloudy
All of her dreams have gone dry
All of her nights have gone sad and shady
She's gettin' ready to fly
Fly away (mmmm)
Fly away (mmmm...Fly away)
I really don't know what the future holds but I feel a lightness within me...an excitement and a little fear of the unknown, but I think I can handle it.
Hell, I know I can.
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