I would make a great Church Lady. Even could do my own version of Church Lady Dancing
I've spent most of the day fighting with my HP scanner trying to get it to work on the old system, which it worked on perfectly before I tore it apart to move to an obscure corner. Now the old computer says it's being used in another program but none are open. This really sucks... I've lost five days of work! 5! I'm so stressed I know I've got gray hair sprouting up everywhere. Yep...there's some on my knuckles...oh hell, there's some on my palm...wait, nevermind--the palm hair is a result of ...er... masturbation.
Conversation with King John:
Me: Hewlett Packard really is the devil, btw.
KJ: no, Hewlett is the devil. Hewlitt was Satan incarnate. Packard was a car.
me: combined they are a Satan incarnate car? Well, no wonder my printer and scanner aren't working right!!!
KJ: yes, sort of like Stephen King's Christine
me: Maybe if I sacrifice a Stephen King book they will work.
So readers, I'm off to sacrifice ...something....