Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Al called last night. We talked for 30 minutes, mainly about his quest to get hired by a company that works in Iraq. He qualifies for several positions. We discussed his resume (which I said I would type up) and references he should use, etc.
Before we hung up, he said, "Sherbare, I really want this."
I know he does and I said, "Then let's make it happen."
There was a smile in his goodbye that told me I said the right thing. It really was the only thing I could say.
My brother is confused. He asked, "Doesn't it bother you that Al may leave? He'll be gone for a year, maybe more and you'll be miserable. I don't understand you, Sherrie. You act as if it's no big deal."
It is a big deal, but I can't talk him out of his dream. No, I don't want him to go away. I want him close. We've just begun again. But I can't diss his dream.
I knew I couldn't convey to my brother the importance of following dreams. He's never really done that. I have. Look at where I would be, if I hadn't of found the courage to publish my poetry... I would always wonder if I could make the cut. What if I had listened to people who doubted I could learn the restoration business... well, you get my point.
All I know is that Allen should follow his dreams... those that are obtainable. IF he doesn't, there will always be a 'what if?' Let's face it, we all have those.
It's too early to tell if things between us will return back to the way they were before our problems began. Who knows...we may decide to stop seeing each other... I don't know what path we'll take nor do I plan on trying to figure out the future...it comes fast enough...the future...Time flies and who can stop it?
All I know is that I still care about Al...I always have and I'm happy now. I'll deal with whatever bridge I have to cross when it comes into view. Life is what it is...so is love. Either we live it or we stay huddled in the shadows, frozen in fear.