Monday, March 31, 2008

Yahoo --the Moral Patrol

Subject: An important notice about your Yahoo! Profiles photo

We're making some changes that will affect one of your Yahoo!
profiles. After April 9, 2008, mature content will not be
permitted within Yahoo! Profiles.

In accordance with this new policy, users will no longer be able to
designate an "adult profile," and mature content will be removed.

The profile for the Yahoo! ID ___ is marked "adult."
The picture associated with this profile will be removed and
deleted on April 9, 2008.
http://profiles.yahoo.com/(insert adult profile here)

We encourage you to upload a new profile photo on that date that
complies with the Yahoo! Terms of Service and Community
Guidelines. Please take a moment to review our Terms of Service
and Community Guidelines.
http://info.yahoo.com/legal/us/yahoo/utos/utos-173.html
http://info.yahoo.com/guidelines/us/

For additional information or to learn how to get a copy of your
photo before April 9, 2008, please visit our help pages:
http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/members/profiles/index.html

Thank you,

The Yahoo! Profiles Team

~ ~ ~ ~
The problem with this is that you can't change your photo. The photo I have on the mentioned profile is my lips. So not adult! I edited the profile and unchecked the 'adult' box...

so if you're labeled 'adult', I suggest you change that status or be deleted.

Friday, March 28, 2008

80 Degrees and chilly!

We're at almost 80 F degree weather but it's chilly with wind gusts. Some of the neighborhood kids were flying a kite this morning when I left for work. I hope they don't lose it to my huge magnolia tree like Charlie Brown... maybe the tree will eat a few of the kids instead.

Guess I've been reading too much of Bentley Little of late.

Our weekend weather doesn't look so lovely and warm... high's in the mid-to-upper 50's. I hope next weekend is warmer. I'm having a yard sale next Saturday.

Tomorrow night I'm treating myself to a movie at the Omni 8 (a budget theatre--$2 before 6 and $3 after). I've finally narrowed it down to the Eye. I think that movie is worth a few bucks. Thought of seeing I am Legend but I know they've changed the story and don't feel like going..."oh man, why did they do that?" through most of the show.

Al has to work until 9:30 pm, and the Tarheels (Go Heels) are playing around that time, so I know what he'll do. He's off Sunday...don't know what we'll do. He hinted that I should wait and go to see a movie Sunday but I how what he'll pick... Meet the Spartans..and I don't think I can sit thru that without getting high or drunk first...since I don't do either...watching it at the theatre is an non-option.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

painting ... Lady on a Fence



I did this painting a few years ago... still haven't framed it. When I was around 11 or so, my paternal Grandmother Leggett gave me a kit that had colored rocks and other things like waxed braid. It made a picture of a girl in pink with a big pink bonnet on her head, sitting on a fence. I wish I had it. For years it hung on the wall above Grandma's favorite chair. But in the last five years of her life, she took it down and put up a photo of John Wayne--her hero. I asked her where she put it but she didn't remember. After her death, I couldn't find it, so I'm assuming she accidentally threw it away or hid it so well no once could find it.

I painted this thinking of that little piece of rock art...wondering what the girl on the fence would look like today..and ... here she is.

Orbs??

Back in Jan, we had a brief bout of snow. I took some photos while it was snowing and they all came out OK, although you couldn't tell it was snow--looked like rain coming down. So hours later, after the snow stopped there was a small accumulation, not much--just enough to semi-cover the ground. I opened the sliding glass door in the breakfast nook and took some photos.

And got Orbs! I could understand them if it were snowing but it wasn't. Nor was I outside the glass door. I just leaned out a bit and snapped some shoots. What's really weird is that the last night shot I took, I didn't really get any orbs. If it were a glare on the lens that shot would have had them too..I'm puzzled over this. (click on the photos to see enlarged version)





````````
Below is a picture of Al's cat, Slick I took at the end of Feb. She likes to come into the kitchen when I'm in there and talk to me. She was talking to me when I snapped this picture. Then immediately fell on her side and put her paws over her eyes as if she were shy. When I tried to snap another shot, the camera wouldn't snap and made the noise it does when the battery is low...but the battery sign was full powered green. I kept trying on and off all weekend but no luck.

Now mind you, I didn't mess with the camera again until I got new batteries. The Friday before Easter, I took some photos of the tulips in my yard. It wasn't until I went inside to put the camera up that I realized I hadn't changed the batteries. Strange that it worked outside and not inside..so I tested it again on a photo of a painting I did...and the damn thing worked OK inside. And the same batteries are still in the camera. The batteries are still strong.

Over the weekend I took the Easter hunt photos without changing batteries. I wonder why I can't get the camera to work for long at Al's house. Maybe I'll try again this weekend to see what gives!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

yahell, typing and dot coms

My main issue today is my battle with yahoo mail--it's not being Sherrie friendly. I had to run to mail2web.com to check my mail because it keeps sticking. A few weeks ago I switched to the new beta version that has the inner chat feature. It's ok. I will give it an A-, mainly because I can chat in email. It shows if I have offlines, etc, just like yahoo messenger but without the extra window. I love it.

Chatting is very humorous for me like when John pops by and we're chatting away. As he types the area above the typing slot usually says 'j s is typing' but there are occasions when it says funny stuff like:

"The Word of J S is being delivered."

"J S should really learn how to type with more than just 2 fingers."

"Stand by for a message from J S."

"Brace yourself for another ingenious dispatch from J S"

"J S is Typing! J S is Typing!"

"J S is in the Zone, Prepare for an AHA moment."

and my favorite: "A Thousand Monkeys are Jumping on J S's Keyboard."

These little nuggets are almost as funny as the messages you see on Taco Bell sauce packs.

But as always, Yahoo has to keep touching their hair and rearranging it, and on these days some other part of their site is affected, most often it's mail. I guess once they change the 360 sites into whatever feature they deem is best, that things will get better with their beta mail and I won't have to beg it to open.

On to another subject .... I've decided to get another website. I wanted to get the sherrieparnell.com domain name but it's taken... yea how dumb is that... and so is painterlady.com and fairyfyre.com... I'm sorta leaning towards sipofsherrie.com... what I want to do is put my art, my writing and also my photo restorations on it... so I'm tryng to find a name that will blend with all of the sides that I possess.



Your Thinking is Concrete and Sequential



You are precise, orderly, and realistic.

You tend to get to the point and get things done.



Difficult, detailed work is easy for you. You take things step by step.

Time limits aren't a problem for you either. You work well with deadlines.



What does drive you crazy is any sort of task that isn't precisely laid out.

You don't like anything to be ambiguous. You prefer to deal with the facts at hand.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Easter at my house

We had a pleasant Easter at my house. I called my sister's house at around 9 am and got her answering machine. I figured they were out for breakfast and left a crazy message on the machine. I disguised my voice and pretended to be the Easter Bunny, asking "Where are my Eeh-ehggs?" But I was wrong...Lisa and the boys were there, screening calls. We chatted a minute and made plans for an Easter Egg hunt at 2 pm or so... though it ended up being at 3, because Granny was taking a nap at 2 and we didn't want to disturb her.

I hid a bunch of plastic eggs all over the place. My Uncle Jerry came by to inspect my work and proclaimed me a genuine Easter Bunny Assistant. He stayed a while and then when back to his place. It was a nice day. I stayed outside, watching the birds fly around until my sister and the boys arrived.


The boys arrived and jumped right into finding eggs. Here they are overlooking at least 3. I hid them well. PS... here's one of my bedroom windows.


Ben found his Easter Bunny surprise.. a PC game from Cars (the disney movie). Hasn't he grown a lot this year.


And here's William pointing at something...probably an egg ...to my sister. He's almost as tall as I am...and I'm 5'4".



We had a great early dinner of Beer Butt Chicken and other things. Then banana pudding..so yummy. Ben told his Dad that I was the Easter Bunny because I hid the eggs for the hunt. Mom asked him how in the world could I be the bunny, when I'm a girl. He said that "When Aunt Sherrie touches the Eggs, she turns into the Easter Bunny, hides the eggs and then turns back into Aunt Sherrie."

Who can argue with that? He and Lisa dyed real eggs the night before but we didn't hide them, because he named each one. And wanted to eat them himself... the one he's holding is named "Baldy" because it's the only one he didn't dye. I feel sorry for my sister, especially if he ate 12 eggs last night.

Peee uuuuu...

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Inherit... the wind...

I got my blue eyes from my father. My mom has brown eyes. This morning we were discussing it...she and I while I was putting my make-up on. William sat playing at the computer and I was watching him, making commentary remarks etc. I had the hand-held mirror and made a comment about my eyes being so blue.

So the discussion began... after Mom left the room, I mused aloud, "Well Ben has my eyes. I guess he inherited it from me." Looking over at William, I wondered aloud again, "Hmmm... Ben has my eyes. I wonder what I gave you, William."

Never missing a click of the mouse as he battled Pirates, he said, "My Identity."

I laughed and returned to the mirror, only to look over it at him. The things he says...sometimes have deeper meanings that he isn't aware of. Did he get his identity from me... no, because he's an individual, but... I believe I've helped mold it, helped him become the young man he's becoming--smart and witty... and so loving. One day when he's ready, I'll watch him soar as he inherits the wind...takes on the world.

Sculpture Things

A professor at UNC-P has created a bunch of sculpture things and they're on loan for display around town. These are just two of them located at the Plaza. There's another one but I didn't take a photo of it.



I asked Wes, next door at Washington's (that's their window in the background) if he thought this thing crawled around at night. He said he didn't care if it did because he's at home. I've decided to look for signs every morning I arrive for work, because I park right beside it. So far it's been very clever at hiding them.



And this one... I saw it on the truck before they placed it and thought...wow that looks like a deep sea diver's helmet... and promptly thought of Scooby Doo Monster's Unleashed. Maybe I should call Mystery Inc.

Tulips...



Lovely and sweet...in my front yard.

Friday, March 21, 2008




What Your Easter Egg Says About You



You are truly optimistic, open, and hopeful.

And your optimism gives you the courage to live life adventurously.

You love new experiences, ideas, and challenges.

You see life as a fluid, growing process.




Your Chocolate Easter Bunny Personality



You are friendly, optimistic, and kind hearted.

You don't have a harsh word for anyone.



You cheerfully live your life with little complaining or suffering.

You are creative and artistic. You live in your own inner world.



You live your life freely, without guilt or restrictions.

And you would never feel bad about eating too much chocolate!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Happy Easter, Bunny!




I hope your Easter is full of fluffly happy things like baby chicks and bunnies...and not spoiled by rotten eggs.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Happy Birthday Granny

Today is my Granny's birthday. She's 83 I think... and doesn't know it nor that it's her special day. Mom and My Uncle Jerry are on their way to pick her up and bring her back for a visit. She'll go home Monday.

I am sad today... just so much going on around me that is so out of my control. Watching my loving Grandmother spiral down to someone who's a stranger to her ownself is so hard at times...

But I'm trying to hold on to all the memories of old and the hugs she still gives. Her I love You's mean more today than they ever did.

Things make more sense now...

that Ben has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder.

He was tested yesterday and scored very high. He's take low dosages of Concerta to help him focus.

I'm concerned about the medicine and also worried about his long-term outcome. I know... I know... one day at a time.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

To the Future...Not the Past...

When I got home yesterday early evening, William and Ben were in the den watching a television show... I think it was ICarly! Anyway, I had my shoes off and Ben who misses little said, "Aunt Sherrie, there's a hole on your toe."

The sock on my right foot had a hole at the big toe. I said, "Oh, it's just trying to escape. It wore through the sock. That's how toes escape, you know."

Ben looked down at his socks--they were holeless. I asked, "Where do you think a toe would go if it could escape off your foot?"

His eyes grew big and he said with 6-year-old enthusiasm, "NEW YORK!"

I laughed, "Is that where you would go if you could escape?"

"NO, I would go to the future so I could play with you, Mommy and Uncle John when you were little."

"The future? But we would be older not younger. You would have to go back to the past to play with us." I smiled to myself. Kids and their confusion on things!

"I CAN"T. I wasn't born then."

Talk about a loss for words! And no matter how I explained that if he could go to the future, he could go to the past---he still held to his idea of "I wasn't born then." I would love to see Bill Cosby handle this one.

Monday, March 17, 2008

UNC Tarheel's #1 Seed

I'm very proud of my Tarheel's. Not only did we win the Conference championship, we won the ACC championship and are THE #1 Seed going into the big dance.

We played Clemson for the ACC title and it was a nail-biting game. Our first contact with them went into 2 overtimes, our second went into 1 overtime and the champ game didn't... we won by 5 points and it was truly a great game. Clemson is a fierce team and I think they'll go a good ways into the dance.

Sorry J... looks like that little school in Philly is gonna play them this week...maybe they'll beat Clemson. I hope so...but...well, Clemson is really good.

Back to the 'Heels...can they win the NCAA champ... I think so.. I really do.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Friday, March 14, 2008

Pinky the Poodle?

Woman defends right to pink poodle

BOULDER, Colo. (UPI) -- A Colorado woman says she broke no laws, or even Boulder city ordinances, when she colored her poodle pink.

Joy Douglas, owner of Zing Salon in Boulder, faces a fine of up to $1,000 a day for dying her pet, Cici. A hearing in municipal court Tuesday was postponed when Douglas said she has hired an attorney.

Douglas ran afoul of an ordinance that specifically prohibits dying "fowl or rabbits or any other animals."

"No person shall dye or color live fowl, rabbits or any other animals or have in possession, display, sell or give away such dyed or colored animals," the ordinance reads.

Douglas said Cici gets only natural coloring -- beet juice and occasionally pink Kool-Aid.

"Cici will be pink until they kick us out of the city of Boulder," Douglas told reporters.

She said one reason she dyes her dog is to raise awareness about breast cancer.




Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Now come on... I have a problem with the 'one reason she dyes her dog' pink... there are better methods of supporting Breast Cancer awareness than to dye your poodle pink. Let's grasp for straws, lady...grasp for straws.

Creepy Gnome?

Saw this on yahoo's front page...



Creepy gnome...maybe...but I swear he looks like a 'little person' a friend of mine in college dated... all her friends (including me) kept slapping him... because he kept telling us how great our hair smelled.

(yeah a bad joke... don't get upset)

But seriously it is creepy...

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

But... I really wanna be a Pirate...

I had a loopy dream before I woke up this morning. I dreamt I was at "Crazy Pirate School" learning to be a pirate like Captain Feathersword of the Wiggles. He's so funny and so cool...even if he acts a bit dense.



But... they threw me out of Crazy Pirate School because I wasn't silly enough. In fact, I was advised to change my name to "Scary Sherrie Danger of the Sea."

And survey says...



William and I were working on some homework last night... he had to add more details to sentences... like "I own a dog (that barks at people)" and so on... I left him to work on it on his own..and the last sentence was "The pilgrim ate turkey ..William added "and sushi."

lol... I didn't encourage him to change it but my sister did... poor kid... sad to have a mind like that programmed...lol

He didn't understand why the answer was wrong. He asked me, "Didn't they have sticky rice?"

But he had a point in a semi-right way...the pilgrims probably did eat fish, not sushi but fish. So he changed it to "and fish."

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

"Just like the white winged dove..."



For the last week, I've heard a Stevie Nicks song on the radio every day! Does this mean I should start listening to her songs and see if there are hidden messages for me within the lyrics?

I jokingly asked a customer who is around my age that very question and she said to seek God.

Sad ... how humor can fall flat.

The Ultimate Peep Show




(Thanks Nancer for this funny pix)

Heels Vs Duke

Saturday night's game was awesome. Instead of me rehashing it...here's the highlights.

It could have been like this...and some might try to say that it would take a team of ninja kittens to whip Duke.



But it was really like this, although in the second half Duke had the best defense I've seen in ages and for a while I thought they might pull it off...


But they didn't... The 'heels whopped ass.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Practice Makes Perfect



I thought today was St. Paddy's day ...so here I am wearing green. I didn't wear my "Kiss me, I'm Irish" button... maybe I'll only wear that next Monday...if I can find a patch of skin that is painless and prickly.

Friday, March 07, 2008

totally...




I could totally eat him up with some whipped cream and a spoon... since I can't sleep I think I'll plug some Bruce into my CD player and... let him coo me to sleep.

Blue...

Talked to my friend Sam..aka...Blue today (actually yesterday--since I drank so much coffee and can't sleep thought I would blog) for a little while. A train caught me and I decided to give him a call while I waited. The last few times, he's either been busy or I had to make it a quickie because of one thing or the other.

I am always speechless when I realize how much there is to tell and I don't have an idea where to start. That's how today was... he asked how things were and I said "Fine" in a slightly trembling voice.

And I don't know why.. things are fine but in ways they aren't...

He said, "No they aren't. I know you, my beautiful faraway friend. I know you."

Then he had a call and put me on hold. When he got back to me, he started talking about the young girl he had a fling with. He finally broke it off with her completely and told me he was relieved...that now he could be the romantic poetry guy he wants to be instead of the angry poet.

He went into detail about things that went on before they broke up and things that went on after--funny how angry break-ups take longer to dissolve.

One thing he said that has stuck in my head is how he told the young girl (actually she's around 19 or 20)... about an online 'love' of his who "alledgedly got a blue heart tattooed on her inner thigh" and he told this girl about it...she goes out and gets a blue heart tattooed on her left wrist and told her she was his "forever". He wasn't too happy about it, because of the problems they were having. But during one of their last arguments, she said some really mean stuff that totally made him blazing angry and he said, "if you feel that way about me, why don't you take a razor and slice that blue heart off your wrist."

She was appalled and said more angry evil things...and he replied with "Your love is so shallow, I bet you can wipe that tattoo off with a paper towel and some spit."

I don't know why...but I laughed...how silly it was. He laughed too and we moved on to a few other short topics before I had to go because the train was gone.

He wanted me to call him later tonight but I didn't. I've got something on my mind of late and I don't know if I want to talk to him about it. If he turns it around to him, it will totally destroy me... there are times when you need someone to listen to you too...and though he is a wonderful dear friend, he can get off target when you're talking to him.

Maybe I'll email him later today at his workplace...so he'll get it tonight. I've thought of blogging about what's bothering me..but can't find the words right now. I'm sure when the time is right, they'll flow off my finger tips...

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Did you know that...




The statue by Auguste Rodin that has come to be called "The Thinker" was not meant to be a portrait of a man in thought. It is a portrait of the poet Dante.

Japanese inspired art by...

ME! All these are watercolor, btw.



Bamboo is fun to paint!



Cherries... yum!




A Ben inspired Red horse!

Poodled

Tuesday evening I went over to Lisa's to help William with his math and paragraph using 10 of his spelling words. I knew it would be hard for her to help him with them because she sucked in school... haha that sounds terrible...I mean she wasn't a good student.

When I pulled into her drive, the front door was open and there was a happy face at the door. Not Ben or William but Champ the dog. When he saw me, he actually did a double take...and I could see the door shaking--he was trying to get out to get me.

I stepped into the house and he went crazy, running in circles, jumping up and doing a funny little howl. I picked him up and he promptly licked my face. Never one for dog spit, I put him down and he still went crazy, which irritates my sister. She says, "You're the only person he acts up around." He got into trouble for barking. I felt bad for him. He can't help it if he goes nuts over a gorgeous woman :))

So... I go into the kitchen where William is working on a writing assignment. About a Leprechaun named Kyle. (He had to type it last night ... )


Kyle the leprechaun

One cold day in March I was walking in the woods. Little did I know a leprechaun just popped up from the bushes. Psspt the leprechaun said! I'm not gonna hurt you. What's your name I said. My name is Kyle, Kyle the leprechaun. I've lost my pot of gold, Kyle said. I'll help you. Thank you, Kyle said. We walked for one mile to find the pot of gold. Gosh this is long, Kyle said. We're almost there to find the pot of gold. I finally thought that we past the forest. I started getting angry about it. Where is the pot of gold? What are you doing , Kyle said. I am screaming that's what I'm doing. After that we walked five more miniutes to find the pot of gold. Guess what we found the pot of gold. I was happy for this to happen! Finally after that Kyle the leprechaun had vanished into thin air. It was finally over.


While he worked on it, Lisa and I chatted over coffee while Champ either jumped up on my leg for me to pet or brought a variety of toys for me to toss. A few times he tried to crawl up my leg and into my lap but I knew if he did, my face would be a sopping wet mess. To entertain Ben, I got Champ to stand on his hind legs and dance with me.

Once the Kyle story was over, William and I worked on his math which was about ounces, pounds, pints, quarts and cups. He breezed through it. Once it was finished, William took my hand and said, "Let's talk a moment." Lisa was at the sink washing dishes. I figured after writing such a great leprechaun story he deserved a moment of rest.

We spent a little time talking about the "Spiderwick Chronicles." He wants a journal like the one in the book. (I got him one off Ebay--but am saving it for Easter). After about 5 minutes of repetitious conversation, I asked what did he want to write about. He couldn't think of anything and turned the subject back to the Spiderwick obsession. Most of his spelling words were about careers like actress, painter, investor, chemist, etc... I suddenly got an idea..I said, "Hmmm.. William... what fantastical creature would make a great chemist?"

He thought for a moment...then said, "An ogre...he would make a mysterious chemist." Then I said, "Why don't we write about The Field Guide to Fantastical creatures and their careers."

He jumped on it and we had his paragraph written in no time and it was really cute and humorous. My sister was totally blown away. When we finished, William ran off to play in his room and she said, "How do you so that? I had a meeting with his teacher yesterday and she praised the work you've done with William. At first she kept saying 'you're doing great with him at home...whatever it is you've been doing, keep doing it,' I finally told her it was his Aunt who works with him. She said she would like to meet you. I'll let you know when we're having the next conference."

I didn't say anything. I sort of felt sorry for Lisa. I imagine it took a lot to admit to his teacher that she's not the one who's helped him come along so far.

And all the while, Champ sat at my feet or on my feet or trying to get into my lap. As she finished telling me what William's teacher said, she looked at Champ and said, "Champ doesn't usually act like this with other people who drop by."

I stayed a while longer, talking to her about other stuff. Then noticed the time--I had been there 2 hours! I got my keys and stood by the door talking to Lisa about some things going on with Dad. Champ kept jumping up on my leg again. I picked him up and held him like a baby, rocking him back and forth a bit. Then put him down. He ran around the house getting toys and putting them at my feet. I finally said good-bye and tried to get out the door but Champ was blocking the path.

Lisa said, "I don't know why Champ likes you so much!"

And from the couch came a small voice, "Because she's part poodle."

Ben! Man of Theories and Power Rangers.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Your What misses my WHAT?

After work yesterday, I ran a few errands. One of them was at the Office Depot. My goal was to get ink and get it fast, but I was held up by a woman who couldn't make up her mind about which flash drive to get—the 514 MB or the 2 G. The cashier and another guy were both competing with whom could explain the differences in layman terms the best.

After a few moments passed, a young couple got in line behind me. Their deep passionate kissing was hard to ignore. I smiled a bit because I've had uncontrollable displays of affection in the past but not as down and dirty as this kiss was getting. When they broke apart the guy said in a very deep boom, “I love how you taste in my mouth.”

This comment broke the contest up and all three of the flash drive squadron turned to stare at them. I didn't. But I could feel the girl's embarrassment. In a tight voice, she said, “I wish you wouldn't say stuff like that in public. You know I hate it.”

I waited for his apology and I think the others did too but instead he gave a satisfied laugh. He knew that this got under her skin and he liked it. With a whisper I said to myself, “Please don't let him get away with this...say ...say ...something.”

But she didn't. She stood in an uncomfortable silence that amplified with each breath. I was reminded of something or rather two things that happened years ago. The first was during my college reign. I was briefly dating a cute fun guy who never tried to go beyond first base. My roommate would leave us alone when he visited, winking as she left as if to say “Get laid.” But the only laying that was done was unopened text books on the bed.

After about two weeks, I decided to end the 'friendship'. So the next time he visited, we hung out in my dorm room but this time when we made out he had Roman hands. But he was a little too late. I had lost interest in finding out how endowed he was and if he could use it. When the time came to leave, I tried to think of how to break it to him that this was our last tango of tongues. We got on the elevator with two other girls. They stood in the corner by the button panel. We were in the opposite corner. Total silence accompanied us until he said in a loud voice, “Babe, the next time I visit you I'm gonna eat you really good.”

The girls gasped then giggled. I turned red and stared at him. But he wasn't looking at me, he was watching the reaction of the girls with a happy face. His goal with that statement wasn't to turn me on or to get me excited about a possible oral sex feast, it was to shock the girls in the elevator. And I wasn't going to have that...no way would I face them every day and wonder if they were thinking of me and him, wondering if he ever ate me.

So I said, “Come on Tim, we both know that if you had the choice to eat me or tacos, the tacos would win—hands down.” His shocked expression was priceless. The girls laughter was too. He departed from the elevator in two shades of red.

Every time I saw those girls (they seemed to be everywhere together), one or the other would say “Tacos or you?” and they would both laugh really hard at the joke. I was proud of myself for taking control of the situation and I bet he's never done that again.

The next time such an incident happened was in late 2000. I was on one of the blind dates from hell that those of us who are brave enough to face the blind date demon encounter. He was a nice guy but a bit boring. We had little in common and I was glad to get out of there after the meal was finished. I had parked my car in front of the entrance. On a bench by it, sat a couple of teenage boys smoking. They were either waiting for seating or waiting for dates. My date and I stood outside my car. I had opened the door and it was between us. I kept saying, “Well, that was nice” and looking at my watch as a covert means of saying I had to go.

He said in a booming voice (why do embarrassing moments like these have to be amplified?), “My penis will miss you.”

His... his what?

The teens laughed so hard they almost fell off the bench. I saw my date give them a sideways glance without turning his head. He didn't mean that statement as a compliment or a come on. He meant it to get some laughs from those kids. I felt a flash of anger but controlled it—barely. Instead I said, “Really? Wow! What a predicament your penis is in! Missing something it never had. Wow!”

This sent the boys into another spasm of laughter. My date's forehead became another shade of embarrassment. He turned away without another word and I never heard from him again.

Experiences like these aren't created for the pleasure of the recipient of the statement. They are made to exploit embarrassment and discomfort. If you let someone create this atmosphere around you, then you let them gain control of your discomfort. The only way to stop this is to take control and turn the tables.

I wanted to tell that girl at the Office Depot this, but I don't think she would have listened. Not everyone is able to turn the tables around in their favor. Which is really a pity.

Oh yea... Homemade wine..

I posted the last post before finishing it. Oh well...

I left out the homemade wine part. Sunday night Al called me to say he was headed home. He kept saying stuff like "you're hotter than a hot pocket" and "I dun got my woe man some wine." "You a wino chick, baby?" He would say it in a funny redneck or drunk voice.

I figured he was joking...but he wasn't. He had some homemade wine in a mason jar. A guy he works with makes wine for fun and sent some to me. It was actually very tasty and very potent. A sweet high... I had two glasses and figured I had better eat dinner or else I was going to rip Al's clothes off...

Rednecks, beer cans and homemade wine

I had a nice weekend at Al's. He worked during the day and I spent some time relaxing and doing little things...like cooking some killer meals. I was in the mood to cook something different ...and didn't have my recipe books with me...so I sorta invented a few dishes (well, maybe not invented them...more like created my own recipes).

I didn't cook Friday night. Al had leftovers because I had already eaten and didnt' feel like cooking. Saturday morning, I cooked steak and eggs... yummy... Al was happy and I sent an extra steak with him for his lunch. He left for work at around 2 and I spent the day doing some laundry and shopping.

For supper, I cooked some coconut rice, sauteed shrimp and some early peas. I melted butter in olive oil and sauteed some minced garlic, once it was soft and not quite brown I added the shrimp and cooked them until they were slightly pink and curled up.
The rice was cooked in coconut milk and salt... I added about a 1/4 of a cup of water to the c. milk and cooked the rice in that... I swear it was all 'melt-in-your-mouth' good. I'll have to add the recipes to my cooking blog later.

So after dinner, I cleaned up and Al watched TV. Al tends to channel surf when nothing's on. I did up the dishes by myself because he tends to get in the way when he's helping. After I finished, I sat beside him on the couch. He stopped on a show called "My Big Fat Redneck Wedding." The bride-to-be was showing her mom where her wedding was going to be held...at a flea market...and how she wanted bales of hay in certain spots...and that the aisle to the alter was to be directed between pool tables...if someone wanted to play pool before sitting down, that would be ok with her.

Tom Arnold hosts the show and would pop up with commentary remarks through the thing... and we laughed our asses off. The bride and groom went to the florist and told her that they didn't want anything 'foo foo' for their wedding... so the groom gets an idea and polishes off his tall boy beer that he had in a paper bag...cuts the top off and adds some stuff that was sitting on the counter ... some sort of dried straw and tells her to put flowers in it. The florist was like "You want me to make your arrangements out of beer cans?" The bride says, "I think it's kinda cool."
As the happy couple leave the place, he pees her name in front of the store. The Bride says, "I can't believe you peed my name in front of her store. It's cool but you forgot to dot the i" (her name is Gail).

They decide to have a beer can arch...and the groom supplies the empty "Bud" cans for it.

The dress arrives from the internet...a size 8, when it should be a size 28! But the helpful groom does his best to get her in it...kept saying 'Hold it in.' An oversized shoe horn wouldn't have gotten her in that dress, much less him.

The wedding day arrives and the bride's lost her teeth but don't worry...her mom offered to let her use hers. They find it. She poly-grips it and the wedding begins.

Before the wedding the groom along with his granny worked on his vows...I can't remember all of the bad rhyme but part of it was 'you're hotter than hot pockets." And granny pipes in "I looOOOove hot pockets." After hearing all of it, she offered him some advice...in polite terms she told him it sucked and to work harder. But he pulled off a really touching vow at the wedding.

When the preacher pronounced them husband and wife, instead of releasing doves...they released chickens...but that's only a side bar...they had a mechanical bull at the reception and did a mating-dance-ride on it...talk about my eyes seeing more than I wanted...

it was really funny. I can't give it justice in this blog.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Anybody can Write




My sinuses are giving me a fit again. Yesterday by 4 pm, I felt as if my head would explode, but I didn't leave work until 4:45 and only because my PC crashed. I had opened too many photo files. To make a long story short, I went to bed at 9:30 pm. I wasn't really sleepy but my head was achy and I felt a bit feverish. Thinking I needed help with my sleep, I looked for a boring book to read. I found one I hadn't read yet...a book on writing. It was in the clearance bin at Barnes and Noble, begging me to buy it, so I did.

The book is "Anybody can Write" by Roberta Jean Bryant: A playful approach; Ideas for the aspiring, the beginning and the blocked writer. On the back it gives a detailed message of what to expect (we all know how these books go and what they usually say). There are naturally some writing exercises like: Engage in paper and pen conversation, Free your creativity through escape writing, Keep an "anything goes" journal, Learn to fingerpaint with words, and Have a conversation with your muse or even with your writer's block.

So I picked it up and began to read...and found myself relating to what Mrs. Bryant had to say: that creativity can be stifled by well-meaning teachers and parents. She gave an example from her youth. During the third grade, she was introduced to finger painting. She was very excited about it and thought, 'I wonder what will happen when I put this color beside this color...' and she would dab different colors, excited about how they looked beside each other, wondering what would happen with each color. Suddenly, her teacher was beside her and asked, "What are you painting?" and she thought, "Uh?"... then said tentatively as if questioning, "Flowers?"... the teacher grabs a brush, runs it through the green paint and says, "You need to add some leaves and stems"...and she destroys Mrs. Bryant's painting...changing it from what it was...an experiment with creativity.

I remember reading "The War of the Worlds" by H.G. Wells in the 5th grade and writing a report on it. Instead of writing "color" and other words like we Americans normally do, I wrote "colour" like the English do, because that's how those words were written in the book. I got a D on the report and I asked why. The teacher said because of my misspellings--that I knew better. I said that I wrote them like H.G. Wells had done...that the report was on his book and should be written in the same way... she and I argued over this and I think she was at a loss of explanations as to why I was wrong and she was right. She knew I had a point but she also knew she couldn't let me by with it because it went against the grain of her teaching method and took away some of her teaching power. In the end, she said I could re-write it in "American" grammer. I rewrote it but the damage was done. She had installed a hint of doubt to my instinctive creativity to writing reports or any type of project. After that incident, I painfully completed essays, projects and reports, fretting over the outcome.

How many times have we been told our method of doing a task is wrong, when in the end it probably comes out to the same results?

I wish I had a hundred dollars for all the times I've heard people say to me "Oh I wish I could paint like you or I wish I could cook like you or I wish I could write poetry, etc." I always reply, "But you can. You might not do it like I do or like anyone else but you can paint or you can cook or you can write..." and so I tell the story of my crocheting experience. I can crochet but not very well...and if the person is in my house I show them my crochet project--a very crooked afgan. I have never thought I couldn't do something I really wanted to try to do. So many people experience defeat before ever trying a task or an adventure into the unknown.

You can write, you can read, you can do anything your heart sets its sights on...just because the outcome isn't exactly as you imagined it would be, doesn't mean you failed. What it does mean is that you succeeded in trying and imagining that you could and who knows...maybe your next venture will be a success.

I'm glad I started reading the "Anybody can Write" book. I'm looking forward to the adventures waiting within the pages.



You Are a Crossword Puzzle



You are well read, and you have a good head for remembering facts.

You are a wordsmith. You have a way with words, and you're very literate.

You are a mysterious person who enjoys dropping little clues every now and then.

Monday, March 03, 2008

William Rocked

William made an A+ on his oral presentation. He got the highest grade in the class and was the best presenter. He's proud of himself...and told Mom that when I saw his grade I would scream with joy.

Glad she told me ahead of time that I was suppose to scream with joy... so I did. He grinned at me and I felt all the pride he had... how it shined in his eyes and I almost cried.

He's come so far... and it's been a long road to travel. I'm glad I've been there to hold his hand and to guide him over the rough spots. The journey is far from over, I know...and there will be rougher roads ahead, but today... for now... my heart is full of love and pride.