Blue...

Talked to my friend Sam..aka...Blue today (actually yesterday--since I drank so much coffee and can't sleep thought I would blog) for a little while. A train caught me and I decided to give him a call while I waited. The last few times, he's either been busy or I had to make it a quickie because of one thing or the other.

I am always speechless when I realize how much there is to tell and I don't have an idea where to start. That's how today was... he asked how things were and I said "Fine" in a slightly trembling voice.

And I don't know why.. things are fine but in ways they aren't...

He said, "No they aren't. I know you, my beautiful faraway friend. I know you."

Then he had a call and put me on hold. When he got back to me, he started talking about the young girl he had a fling with. He finally broke it off with her completely and told me he was relieved...that now he could be the romantic poetry guy he wants to be instead of the angry poet.

He went into detail about things that went on before they broke up and things that went on after--funny how angry break-ups take longer to dissolve.

One thing he said that has stuck in my head is how he told the young girl (actually she's around 19 or 20)... about an online 'love' of his who "alledgedly got a blue heart tattooed on her inner thigh" and he told this girl about it...she goes out and gets a blue heart tattooed on her left wrist and told her she was his "forever". He wasn't too happy about it, because of the problems they were having. But during one of their last arguments, she said some really mean stuff that totally made him blazing angry and he said, "if you feel that way about me, why don't you take a razor and slice that blue heart off your wrist."

She was appalled and said more angry evil things...and he replied with "Your love is so shallow, I bet you can wipe that tattoo off with a paper towel and some spit."

I don't know why...but I laughed...how silly it was. He laughed too and we moved on to a few other short topics before I had to go because the train was gone.

He wanted me to call him later tonight but I didn't. I've got something on my mind of late and I don't know if I want to talk to him about it. If he turns it around to him, it will totally destroy me... there are times when you need someone to listen to you too...and though he is a wonderful dear friend, he can get off target when you're talking to him.

Maybe I'll email him later today at his workplace...so he'll get it tonight. I've thought of blogging about what's bothering me..but can't find the words right now. I'm sure when the time is right, they'll flow off my finger tips...