Monday, February 20, 2006

Finally ... winter

It's very cold today. More so than yesterday...and gray.
I can deal with the cold... not with the rain that might come in.

Had a great weekend.
Drove up to see Allen.

I was in the kitchen last night, putting chocolate icing on a cake I baked for him. For no real reason, I glanced up and saw that he was watching me. His expression made my knees buckle. I was thankful to have the kitchen counter to lean against. Al's face had a softness to it, his eyes... that said all that my heart wanted to say... that I love him, as deeply as I did all those years ago...and I thought, "This love has never really left us."

I didn't say anything. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I know my answering look spoke to him, because his smile was a dopey and wide as mine.

We'll say those words soon. When the moment is perfect.

Saturday, we did some errands that he needed to do and then spent the evening, talking and watching porn. lol... it's so goofy--porn... he's not seen much due to being a prude for 45 years, so this is like candy to him. I sit and dissect it. Make commentary remarks that crack him up. After he got tired of the porn, he said, "Ok, it's time to hide the salami." That cracked me up...

Sex... well, it's been animalistic and wild...and the afterglow has been loving and tender... that's all I'm going to say about it.

Sunday, I cooked breakfast. We watched the Carolina game. Then I did some clean his refridge. Why don't most men living alone, think to clean stuff like...the tile in the shower, wipe up spills in the fridge, sweep under things, etc... I haven't been doing much cleaning while I'm there because I don't want him to think I'm trying to be his mom. But I couldn't stand it any longer and did some work around the house. He went out and trimmed his azalea bushes. It was cold out... after I was done with the other cleaning, Al came in and said, "Get your coat, your gloves, your scarf and a hat." I did. Went out and he had a bonfire going. We hung out around it. music, just the crackle of the fire.

When we turned in for the night, in Al's arms I fell the memory of us laughing and dancing under the stars and not feeling the cold.