In Love with A Wild Man

After I broke up with Al in 99... we still kept in contact for a long time..even having a few sexual-capades. We've never gone long without one of us calling the other to see how they're doing...except last year...

He's always been funny. Someone who loves to tease. When I jumped back on the dating scene, I got used to sedated type guys. I think back ...over these dates and the short relationships and realize that I thought of them as boring. Even if they're fun to talk to or even get my jokes (some didn't), I still kept waiting for something from them..something that never happened.

Then in walks Al...back into my life and the wildness begins...and I love it. I'm never bored, even if I predict what he's going to do..I still love it.

I got to his house fairly early Saturday. I wasn't inside for long when he said, "Let's go." We took the Al-mobile (my nickname for his car) and went to look at houses. His house is very large...and too much for him. He's going to rent his house and find a smaller place to buy--good investment. We're looking for a fixer-upper. He likes to do handywork and has a eye for detail.

As we were driving through one neighborhood, we came to a traffic light and had to wait for it to turn green. Al said, "Where does this road go?" (He was referring to the road that was perpendular to us.

I had no idea. "I don't know."

"But you said you knew Fayetteville." He sat staring at me, eyebrows raised. He expected an answer. I knew he was semi-teasing me...

so I said, "It goes that way (pointing left with my right fore-finger) and that way (pointing right with my left fore-finger)."

He stayed silent...staring at me. I stared back and suddenly started laughing. He continued to stare. I saw him pull in his upper lip to keep from laughing. There was a guy standing on the corner with his dog. Al rolls down his car window and says, "Hey Bud, do you need a girlfriend? I've sell you mine...cheap."

We burst into laughter and I looked at him and said, "You have to admit it, Al. That was funny."

"Oh yea. It was a "Sherrie" answer." He grinned at me and we continued our journey when the light changed to green.

After we did our errands... we went back to his place. I was in the process of cleaning his kitchen when he annoucned that he needed to go to the grocery store because his cousin Dennis and Dennis' girlfriend Christine (who works with Al) were coming over later. Al wanted to cook something. I gave him my cell phone, told him to take it with him. I know Al. He'll forget what he needs and will have to make 3 trips. But if he has a phone handy, he can call and ask me...because he told me what he needed to get...and I secretly wrote it down.

He was surprised I handed it over. I guess he thinks I have stuff to hide. I don't. There are numbers in the address book that are unfamiliar to him, but they're my business and if he questions me about them, I'll answer truly. Just because we're together doesn't mean that our life before stopped. It didn't. I have friends, just like he does...and it doesn't mean I don't love him. It just means I have a life outside of him.

Al called about 4 times... like I knew he would. I didn't mind. He tried to fool me by disguising his voice. It didn't work. But when his cousin Dennis called...on his cell phone. I was fooled for a moment. Thought it was Al at first, but when he didn't start laughing, I knew it was his cousin.

When Al got in, he called Dennis and they set up a time. I finished tidying the house and rushed to change into something nice and fuss over my hair and face a bit. Al cooked up blackened catfish and some Octopus fritters. I made cole slaw with a hint of blue cheese in it. Plus some honey and bacon baked beans. It was all so yummy.

I did the prep work, Al did the cooking. So when our guests arrived, they went in and I was left to entertain them. Al stepped in and said, "Sherrie and her father own a photography studio. She does photographic restorations." Then he disappeared.
This opened up a topic and they asked questions. Christine said, "Allen told us at work that you are an artist. That 99 % of the art on his walls was done by you. Which ones are they?" I showed her some. Too modest to show all of them. Don't know why the knowledge that Al bragged on my talents humbled me.

Then Dennis asked, "Did you meet Allen in school?"

I told him no. Christine pressed the issue. "So how did you meet him?"

"I met Allen in early March of 95 at a sports pub. We noticed each other for a few weeks. Once I was playing pool at a table beside the one he was playing at. I was standing beside him, watching my friend take a shot when I noticed that Allen was staring at me out the corner of his eye. His face was towards his table but his eyes weren't. I turned and smiled at him and he quickly turned back to his table... caught and not wanting to admit it. About a week later, I was in area close to the bar and trying to get someone to dance with me. Allen walks in and I held out my hadn and said,'Care to Dance?' He took it and we danced...for a long time...the rest is history."

Christine said, "How romantic!"

But I couldn't let the illusion continue. "But we did break up for a long time. For many reasons. Right before Christmas, he walked into the studio. The moment I saw him, I realized we still had the old chemistry. He called in Jan and asked me over for dinner. Since then, I've been coming on the weekends ever since. We found each other again."

She smiled. "He's happy. All he does is talk about his 'Sherrie.'"

That made me happy. We ate soon after and then I cleaned up while she talked to me. We made jokes about men and love. After I finished the dishes, we joined the guys and watched Pirates of the Carribean. Al was telling a story from his youth and he said something but I can't remember what, which caused me and Christine to give the 'exchange of looks.' Al caught us. He said, "Ah...ha! Did you see that Dennis? Sherrie and Christine just exchanged the 'look.' You know...that universal eye contact that women know from all over. They've just met and yet they pass the 'look.'"

She and I laughed. Because we had. Dennis said, "They were plotting in the kitchen earlier."

We laughed some more. And they left around 11 or so. Al and I finished tidying the den and he disappeared soon after. I sat watching some TV, thinking he would come back but he didn't. I turned out the lights, blew out the candles we had lit and turned off the TV. It was quiet in the back of the house. I walked softly, thinking he was already asleep.

In the bedroom, there was only a candle burning. The bedcovers weren't turned down...and there was no Al. I stood, trying to figure out where he could be. Then...out the corner of my eye, I saw a naked man, crounching in the closet. He jumped out...and I screamed. It was Allen. Waiting to scare me to death. I fell over laughing at him, saying stuff like "So you've finally surrendered to your paranoia...by huddling naked and afraid in the closet. Or is this YOU coming out of the closet at last? Brokeback Al..." That's when he began to tickle me.

After a long bout of kissing and other things, I broke free and put on my night gown. It was a long deep pink Grecian type gown with a matching robe. I left the robe on the bed and ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash the makeup off. When I came back, there was Al...in the middle of the bed, wearing the robe and doing 'Vogue' poses. I fell over laughing.

This is the way we are together. We have our moments of disagreement and we work through them. He's stubborn and so am I. He makes his point. I make mine and we find some ground in between to work through it. We aren't perfect and never will be, nor is our relationship perfect but at times... I feel it's close to being perfect.

My heart sings and I am thankful for God allowing us to be together again.

A Haibun style poem

Still behind rose-colored glasses, I sit, waiting for words to move
me. In the quietness of time, I find none. There is little hope for
a rose petal pressed tightly between the pages of Neruda poetry. The
moment the book was opened, the petal lost all beauty. For who can
compete with verses such as his?

I ask of myself, only this...to write from the heart. I struggle to
pen emotions, hiding behind the images I create with words...hoping
above all else to find a way to show the depth of my ocean. Yet at
times, I drown in the deepness of myself.

Once I was told that gold tints the edges of my lashes and if mined,
it would bring wealth beyond the riches of the universe. I see only
fool's gold. So many mistakes mar the surface of my glasses. If I
look closely, I can almost see through the rose tint, but the
brilliance from the fool's gold blinds me.

How temporary a soul can be? It is frail as a rose petal and easily
bruised by touch. I should warn you...in the depth of my ocean swims
my soul and if you seek it, you might drown. The gold that lives on
my lashes can't save you.

red rose petals
floating on waves...
waiting to die


~ ~ ~ ~
A Haibun is a bit of prose that ends with a haiku or you can insert haiku between each verse... it's usually about a travel/journey.. I like the form, especially if I want to meander in prose, yet keep it poetic.

It's been a busy day! Had a nice weekend away from the studio. Al and I enjoyed two solid days together. We had dinner with his cousin (whom he's recently met that lives in Fayetteville too) and his cousin's girlfriend. It was fun. I was surprised at how much Allen ahd told them about me. After dinner, we all hung out watching the Pirates of the Carribean. Christine and I got along great. We'll probably BBQ soon as the weather is nice.

Today hasn't been so bad. Got a lot done. Went to the post office to check the mail and found that my key wouldn't fit! So I went to the inside window and Ted, the clerk told me that some of the boxes were vandalized--that a group of guys had broken into them during the weekend. Sure enough...our box was on the list. I had to fill out a vandalism report and get new keys. Luckily no one mailed payments in this weekend. IT's a sad world when the post office gets pillaged.

Hanging out with the nephews tonight.. and I need to work on the magazine...once again I am really behind.

Yesterday was....

Hell... to quote the Rolling Stones:


"And look at me, I'm in tatters, yeah
I've been battered, what does it matter
Does it matter, uh-huh
Does it matter, uh-huh, I'm a shattered"

(humming is optional, Shadoobie)

Today is better...maybe due to me scheduling a rare 2 day weekend away from the studio.

It's been crazy here. No scanner...and I need one. Dad's been on my ass about going to the Offfice Depot and getting whatever. I said "NO". I'm getting a quality one, even if I have to do trekking. On top of this, my printer (Hewlett Packard is the Devil) is chopping off images when it prints. Only when I use razor thin paper does it print right. SO I need a new printer tooo... this is added to Dad's "Have you found (insert item name) yet?" Between the pressure from him and the pressure to get my work printed and out on time, I'm going into brain death before 2 pm every day.

Wednesday evening we found out that Granny is in the early stages of Alzheimers. We figured she might, because she's been getting lost going to places she goes to daily, forgetting things... walking around disoriented. She's upset and feels like a failure. I've been rallying close family members, so that we all can be upbeat and optimistic and ease some of her distress. She's on new meds and they seem to be helping. I talked to her this morning and she sounded more like Granny than she has in over 6 months. Say some prayers for her, please.

The stress of having to keep family members calm is telling on me too. I get calls daily with questions about Alzheimers. Today I plan to print out some information and make a 'guidebook' for those who can't grasp things, like my silly cousin who likes to make things worse than they are. Someone gets a paper cut and she spreads it around that they lost a finger.

The nephews are doing great. They're the bright spots in my life during the week. When I walk in the door and they're there, they both yell "Aunt Sherrie's HERE. Hey AUNT SHERRIE...COME LOOK AT THIS...or COME PLAY." They run and hug me and give me kisses. I was playing a video game with William Wed night and he was beating me badly...

I said, "Wow, you're killing me."
He said, "It's all for the Love of God."

Where he gets these funny comments...I don't know.

Allen passed a huge test, which suprised me. I was really upset Wednesday night. He called late and I sat in bed, listening to him rattle on about his day. I thought,"I want to talk about Granny, but I know he won't listen." That's how it was in the past...he was very self-absorbed. But I decided to try.

I said, "I have something important to talk about."
He grew quiet and waited. So I told him about Granny's Alzheimer and Al was so tender and full of concern. We talked about it until I felt better. He soothed my soul and that's a first. He's rarely been able to comfort me in the past. I have to confess, this made me fall more in love with him.

After yesterday's craziness at the studio, I went in search of batteries and candles. On the way home with my treasure trove, I called a close friend in Cali. Haven't had much time to talk of late. We chatted for a long time..catching up on things between his customers at the comic shop he works for part-time. I told him about Granny and he was very supportive. He told me about the birthdays that his son and wife just had. When I got home, I sat in the truck and took a deep breath. I could hear a lot of people in the background and knew he was getting busy. So I said, "Sam, I'm home and need to go inside and see what's up."

He said, "Take a deep breath. Relax and then face whatever's waiting, Painter lady." (his nickname for me and the name of this blog..lol)

I laughed shakily and said, "Thanks. I will. Have a great evening. I'll catch you soon."

Before I could hang up, he said, "Wait...there's something important I want to say to you..."

I said, "Ok." Waiting and wondering what it could be...figuring it had to do with his job or family or about the poetry book he's got in production."

Instead he said, "For 5 years now, you've been here for me...a strong and supportive friend. I don't think I say this enough...fuck, I know I don't...but I love you. And I'm glad you're in my life."

That started the tears... you know... it's good to hear that people love you and I realize I don't say it enough...so to my blog friends and my online friends.. I want to say this:

Jo... I love you and I miss our talks. Your insight on life has saved me many times.
King John... I love you and how you make me laugh with your wit.
Sarah HB... I love you like the daughter I've always wanted. You have so much to offer this world. Don't ever forget that."
Sandra...I love you and your crazy single life...it reminds me of myself when I was your age.
Lorraine... I love you. You're my blood sister and that says it all.
DJ JD...I love you. You've put up with my silly emails and sent me funny ones in return that make me fall off my seat laughing. Thanks for that.

It's good to have friends...now I'm off to call a few real life ones and tell them how much I love them.

One of my recent Photographic Restoration Projects

Shadow Dancer

In silence, shadows reach for me;
the soft light of moon watching.
The fabric of my soul stretches
like silk across my full breasts,
as the shadows claim their reward.
I should run from the carnal pleasure
that night covertly delivers to me.
Instead I embrace the decadence,
like a sultry shadow dancer,
locking the world outside her music box.

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life. You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first. You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker. You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Birthdate: October 23

You're not good at any one thing, and that's the problem. You're good at so much - you never know what to do. Change is in your blood, and you don't stick to much for long. You are destined for a life of travel and fun. Your strength: Your likeability Your weakness: You never feel satisfied Your power color: Bright yellow Your power symbol: Asterisk Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birth Month is October

You are a natural leader who is able to stand up when no one else can. Strong and powerful, you tend to overshadow those around you. Your soul reflects: Gratitude, comfort, and true love Your gemstone: Tourmaline Your flower: Cosmos Your colors: White and yellow

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

There ya go... facts are facts

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Tonight on PBS

The Ministry of Silly Walks




Monty Python's Personal Best.

It's a new series where the cast members share their personal favorites. Eric Idle kicks it off with his...the Silly Olympics, Bruces, Lumberjacks and the Hairdressers' Expedition to Mount Everest. This is British humor at its best.

It's one of those...

Nobody listens to "Turtlette" days!

I spent 10 mins explaining to a photographic colleague what I wanted him to do for me, regarding the scanning of a collage and then burning it to CD...

in 5 seconds, Dad confuses him by telling him what to do... which was all wrong...

and I have to spend 2 minutes telling Dad to be quiet and let me talk...then spend another 8 minutes going over what I required...again.

Dad hates it when I appear more knowledged than him...regarding anything. Then has to do stupid 'power plays' like the one today. But this one left egg on his face. I am the digital artist, not him. I know what I require to get the work done. He has no earthly idea how to scan, retouch or even print. That's his fault. We've had the digital system since 1998. All he's done has been to surf the net and play games on it.

I bit my tongue today. Next time... I might not.

Finally ... winter

It's very cold today. More so than yesterday...and gray.
I can deal with the cold... not with the rain that might come in.

Had a great weekend.
Drove up to see Allen.

I was in the kitchen last night, putting chocolate icing on a cake I baked for him. For no real reason, I glanced up and saw that he was watching me. His expression made my knees buckle. I was thankful to have the kitchen counter to lean against. Al's face had a softness to it, his eyes... that said all that my heart wanted to say... that I love him, as deeply as I did all those years ago...and I thought, "This love has never really left us."

I didn't say anything. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I know my answering look spoke to him, because his smile was a dopey and wide as mine.

We'll say those words soon. When the moment is perfect.

Saturday, we did some errands that he needed to do and then spent the evening, talking and watching porn. lol... it's so goofy--porn... he's not seen much due to being a prude for 45 years, so this is like candy to him. I sit and dissect it. Make commentary remarks that crack him up. After he got tired of the porn, he said, "Ok, it's time to hide the salami." That cracked me up...

Sex... well, it's been animalistic and wild...and the afterglow has been loving and tender... that's all I'm going to say about it.

Sunday, I cooked breakfast. We watched the Carolina game. Then I did some stuff...like clean his refridge. Why don't most men living alone, think to clean stuff like...the tile in the shower, wipe up spills in the fridge, sweep under things, etc... I haven't been doing much cleaning while I'm there because I don't want him to think I'm trying to be his mom. But I couldn't stand it any longer and did some work around the house. He went out and trimmed his azalea bushes. It was cold out... after I was done with the other cleaning, Al came in and said, "Get your coat, your gloves, your scarf and a hat." I did. Went out and he had a bonfire going. We hung out around it. Dancing...no music, just the crackle of the fire.

When we turned in for the night, in Al's arms I fell asleep...to the memory of us laughing and dancing under the stars and not feeling the cold.

Spitting nails

Yesterday afternoon was a bitch. My printer kept cropping off parts of the picture I was printing. One of my digital imaging programs kept freezing and when I tried to save my work, the program would close itself. I had one really damaged photo fixed and lost the whole file.

Then on top of it all, a customer came in to pick up an order that she needed by Friday...and tells me I got the wrong photo ready (She brought in 3)...instead of the photo I had prepared and printed, she needed the other two--both required some light retouching. I showed her the work order, because I wrote it down like she said. Instead of saying, "Oh you're right." She said, "Well, you musta not been listening."

I told her I would have the photos ready by 11 this morn and she left. I haven't seen her yet. She'll probably appear right when I'm leaving.

A few other things happened and I came to the conclusion that even with a new PC system, HP Printers still are the devil.

When I left work...I was so frustrated and irritated that I could have spit nails...enough to build a condo. The drive home usually is only 5 minutes. I get behind Grandma Bluehair and her sister Silver Puff who are talking and sightseeing, while driving 35 mph. Behind me is a prick... we all know it's better to have an asshole in front of you than a prick behind you. He's a young dud in a pimped up car, driving on my bumper. The traffic coming was so solid that I couldn't pass Granny and her Sister. So instead of 5 mins it took almost 10.

I pull into my drive and my sister is there, blocking the path I drive to the shelter I usually park under. I couldn't squeeze by her without running over my azeala bushes. So I had to drive around the block and come in via the path behind the house.

As I walked to the house, I could hear the nephews--loudly. They were either playing or having a fight. Mom and Lisa's voices were just as loud and I thought, "Give me patience to swallow these nails I want to spit out."

In an outdoor chair by the back door was a single red rose surrounded by greenery and baby's breath flowers. It was wrapped in white tissue paper with red roses printed on it. A red ribbon secured the paper. The card simply read "Sherrie" in Al's handwriting. He had left a rose for me.... to find when I got home.

Every irritation, every frustration, every ounce of anger and impatience dissolved into nothingness, as I reached for the rose. I opened the card and it said, "Happy VD. Love, Allen." My heart sang and I stepped inside the kitchen smiling.

Expect nothing and you receive rewards.

I talked to Al later. He laughed at me and said, "I put the rose outside your door last night (Tuesday-V day), to see if you would see it. I was shocked you didn't because, you went outside several times."

"You didn't have to do this, you know. Your visit meant just as much as getting flowers or candy."

He laughed, "I know, baby. Can't believe it took you so long to find it."

"I had a horrible afternoon. When I saw the rose, it evaporated. So I think I found it at the perfect time, sweetie."

Day after Valentine's Day Sale

Now's the time to buy the expensive boxes of chocolate for half-price!

My dad used to do that...lol

I had a nice day yesterday. Got some roses...not from Al. I don't think he's ever gotten me roses on Valentine's day. He's sent flowers in the past but ususally for my birthday or just because. I didn't expect any from him. These roses came from a guy who won't give up on me. He thinks that one day, I'll come around and see the light--that he's my soulmate and we'll live in the eternal bliss of true love. Wrong... he's a nice guy but there are no sparks. This year the card read, "Maybe one day my dreams will come true."

I try to be polite and kind to him...like most of us, I know what unrequited love feels like.

I left work at 5:15...stopped for gas at one of my ususal places. The guy who works there is from the middle east and a handsome young guy. He's got a crush on me. After I paid for the gas, he stammered out "Hoppy Volentine." I gave him a wink and said, "Same to you, dear."

Got home around 6:30, after doing some errands and cooked dinner for my brother. He couldn't believe Al wasn't coming down to visit on Valentine's Day. I told him I didn't expect it, because of his schedule.

Guess what...at 8 pm, Al calls and says he's in town and can he come over. I was so shocked, standing there in my jammies. I was watching Napoleon Dynamite...after all he's my Valentine this year. I said "But I thought you couldn't make it tonight." He replied in purr, "I have to see my 'fuckbunny' on Valentine's Day."

I changed clothes before he got there and we had a great night together.

Guess who called... the guy who sent the roses. I didn't bring them home...not because I didn't want Al to see them... I just plain ole forgot about them.
I thanked the guy and then told him I had company and said goodbye. Al noticed my flushed face and gave me an inquiring look. All I said was "That was a guy who has had a huge crush on me...for the last 3 years. He doesn't believe in giving up."

Al laughed but I saw him studying me closely later, as if seeing me differently--maybe as the object of desire for other men. I think it's good to know that the person you love is desireable. I'm very aware of his sex appeal.

My brother went to bed early because he had to work this morning. So once things were quiet, Al and I had a romping sex-capade in the den. Every piece of furniture was molested. He mentioned something very decadent last weekend but it never crept up last night...and I'm glad because last night was all about us... and I loved that.

This morning I dropped my brother off at work and came back home to wake Al up 'Sherrie style.' Talk about the morning glow...we both had it.

And I can truly say...this was the best Valentine's holiday ever.

This quiz result is very on target!!!

You Were A Lion

You have a lethal combination of strength and energy. You have strong family ties, and close friends are like family to you.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Give me chocolate... Like this:

Need I say more?

So Far..here's my only Valentine

God help me!

The day before V-day

Which is ...today!

Had a great weekend. Al loved the belly dance, which led to... well, some hot sex to put it bluntly.

And Al...well all I can say is that he's full of surprises lately.

Damn... I really wanted to be a Little Scary!

You Are Not Scary

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?

How Scary Are You?

Rainy

outside
rivulets of rain
on window panes

inside
rivulets of kisses
on my skin

and rainy day
dreams...
come true

Romance

I do not know romance, the taste of mint of lips.
Yet, I seek the thrill of its electricity,
flowing like fire in my veins--the burn of blue.

I know not the desires that lurk in your heart,
but I read them on the folds of your lips,
like Braille under my fingertips or sexual morse code.

We dance, we sing, we play each other's bodies,
like harps along the waters of decadence,
each note a sweat drop faling on red satin.

You ask for romance, for the twist of desire
that pulsates along our skin--the paths of pleasure.
The answer, my love is written upon my inner thighs...

the secrets of romance as only I can whisper.

My Fortune Cookie for Today

Your Fortune Is

Passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

What Candy Heart are YOU?

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out. Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Weekend... coming up

I'm ready...even though I have to work tomorrow until 4 pm.
Al's hours have changed. He's off on Sat and Sun now, so that means I can get there earlier. Though he gave me a key, I still feel funny being there when he's not.

We've fallen into old habits... like him calling at night before we go to sleep, so we're the last voices we hear. Me calling him in the mornings to wake him up...and he answers the phone with "grrummpher...errrr" or some other growl, which totally cracks me up...

Am I falling in love with him again.... Maybe! I don't think about it too much nor over-analyze things... I've learn to let it be what it is and enjoy it...the destination isn't important...it's the journey.

Since V-day falls on Tuesday and I'm not sure if we'll see each other, I've planned a seductive Belly dance. Al doesn't know I dance... so this will be quite the surprise. I think as a gift it beats cheezy heart boxers.

"Well..." said I.

The Feb issue is a success according to the emails I'm receiving today.

Phewwwwwww.... that's the sweat off my balls... boobs.

I was a bit worried that it didn't meld with all the stress I've been under.
Plus fighting this respiratory thing...can't seem to shake the congestion and I've tried all sorts of medicines. My nose is so sore from blowing it that I'm ready for a new one...

Thanks to DJ JD for his song list. According to several lady friends, not only was his song list great but he's "sizzling hot." But I already knew that..lol... Hey....Maybe he's the reason the snow didn't stick around today...

And if you look closely at one of the articles, you'll see where my dear friend Jo made a brief appearance.

Yes...we had about an hour's worth of light snow earlier. It was lovely to view. Wasn't cold enough to stick I guess. I'm relieved. Too much to do besides stay at home marooned.

I'm freezing today... this old building is so frigid!

Hey I just thought of something... if I write about sex in my blog, am I doing it Bloggy style?

a quinzaine

Snowflakes falling on my hair.
Will I become a
snow angel?

Snow

We're getting snow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I've got to start watching the weather station!

Feb Issue is UP

Feb

In Dance

Electric air
the static of life
clinging to my veil...

I turn
a river of
chiffon, soft blue

the subtle shiver
of coins play
from my hips

I am
a Goddess of
shimmy and grace

In dance
I rejoice in
feminine vibrance

I am
eternal sensuality
and oh so

touchable.

~~~
An ode to Belly Dancing

Boys' toys, Boy Toys and Mrs. Robinson

Last night was a pretty good night. Got home around 5:15. Mom and Lisa were there, getting the boys in their jammies. William asked why didn't "Sherrie" do it. I said, "I'll put them on upside down." He seemed satisfied with that answer but I wondered about it myself. I'm capable of doing it, but I believe Mom and Lisa think they're helping out. So be it. The workshop was at 6, so they left shortly before.

I was briefed on what to fix for dinner: chicken noodle soup, grilled toast, spaghetti, applesauce, a cheese sandwich...and hmmm something else..I'll remember in a bit. Ben was playing on the computer. William was watching Nick Jr. "Drake and Josh." He and I played with his Batman toys. I had to be the Joker. I'm getting into playing with boy toys.

I got a pen and pad, went over to William. Wrote down "Table W" and said, "Welcome to Sherrie's Diner. May I take your order, sir?"

His eyes grew shiny and he said, "I've got to think."

I said, "Shall I tell you what the specials are for today?"

He nodded violently.

"Chicken noodle soup, Turtle toe soup, spaghetti, spaghetti and snow balls, toast, toast with snail jam, applesauce or puppysauce."

He laughed. "Turtle toe soup."

"Wait, I think we're out of that."

"Ok. Then chicken noodle soup, spaghetti, toast and applesauce."

"No, puppysauce?"

"I don't like puppies in my applesauce."

"Ok. Coming right up, sir."

Then I went to the computer room and wrote down "Table B." And said, "Welcome to Sherrie's Diner. Can I take your order?"

I went through the same menu and Ben ordered one of everything. I made supper and we watched "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody." Then made up secrets to tell each other. Lisa got done at 7 and picked them up. They left in a whirlwind of noise. When the door closed...silence was golden.

Worked on the magazine issue until 8:30. A friend dropped in unexpectedly. She's recently divorced at 46. No kids and going through an identity crisis. On her arm was arm jewelry..aka a boy toy-- a 21 yr-old stud from the local U. I thought he was her nephew and asked, "Is this your nephew Danny?"

She got flustered and said, "No, this is Tim. He's my boyfriend."

I almost fell out but managed to hide my surprise. I invited them in. Gave them some soda. (I had no alcohol and if I did, I wouldn't have given it to them. It would have encouraged a party). One thing about this friend ...is that she looks 46 or older. If you know what I mean! Her boy toy would have looked better on my arm.

During the visit, I kept mentioning things like "Sea Monkeys, Disco, Funk..." Maybe I was wrong to 'date' us but I thought I would show her that boy toys are fun but when you have to explain the era you lived through...it kind of puts a blur on things. But she didn't remember "Sea Monkeys" so I guess I wasted my time. lol

While she excused herself to visit the bathroom, her toy turned to me and said in a low voice, "Hey babe, I've got a few friends who are dying to date a mature woman...want me to hook ya up?"

I quelled the urge to laugh outright. Then declined gracefully. "No thanks. I can't step out on my man."

"I bet he don't have stamina like us younger men!"

Before I could reply, my friend came back into the room. They left shortly after. The boy toy got me to thinking... some women would jump at the chance to play "Mrs. Robinson" but not me. I don't have the time. Plus, I've done that before and it ain't all that great. It's kind of like having a living dildo... once the sex is over...there's nothing to talk about. Must be the maturity level differences.

Give me a man...who knows the roads of a woman's body, who takes their time and after the fireworks are done...we can talk about things...like the 70's... and connect on life experiences we've both had and can relate too.

I should have the mag issue up tomorrow morning. Working on some retouching today and have dance tonight. Shimmy on...

Hope

Opal fires live in the center of my soul,
burning cool like sunlight on grapes.
In the blue of the fires, lives hope.
I do not nuture it, for it feeds on life;
the ribbons of clouds waving,
angels sighing over newborn lambs.

With every passing sigh, I sing hope,
the colors of my soul reflected in opal.
My world burns bright in its fires,
the ribbons of clouds woven overhead.
There is good in this troubled world,
the wheat of many dreams baked golden.

As long as opal fires burn in my soul,
as long as clouds weave rainbows and
lambs sigh angelic under golden light,
I will sing hope, the warm glow of grapes
dreaming of wine and the wheat of life
reaping the glory of love saying, "Believe."

Enough quizes for today

I act as if I have all the time in the world to do those silly quizes.
But they're fun and mindless...and it's funny to see the results, especially when you disagree with them!

My weekend was nice. I worked Saturday and when I got off, I went home and took a good two hour nap. Al had to work until 9, so I wasn't in a hurry to get there. I think someone called... during my nap. I remember answering the phone and the person laughing at me, telling me to go back to sleep. Don't know who it was, but I assume eventually that they'll come out of the woodwork.

Got to Al's around 9:18. We hung out and talked about different things. He's always so funny. Doing crazy impressions from television shows or movies and asking me to guess where they're from. We didn't cook because I wasn't hungry. This respiratory bug has my appetite.

When I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed, Al shouted, "Look in the toothbrush holder." I did and saw a pink toothbrush beside his blue one.

I shouted back, "You've got a pink toothbrush? How girly man of you!"

"It's for you, wench. Use it or I'll spank your ass."

"You don't have a permit to do that. I suggest you apply for one this week."

(Yea our banter is silly) But the toothbrush said it all...we're back to being us. I'm not making anything out of it. Just let it be...no great expectations... if things happen, so be it. As long as it's fun and not stressful.

As for Sunday, all his buddies had other plans, so it was just us. No big Super Bowl party. We cooked and watched the game. I was sort of disappointed in it... I guess I expected more from the Seahawks, but the Steelers were too pumped up...ready to get 'The Bus' that Super Bowl trophy and ring.

I drove straight to work Monday morning. Got here a little early and did some printing. Still haven't gotten the scanner to work. I think I'll come in tomorrow and work on it while it's quiet. Today I've been trying to learn some of the new digital imaging programs, so I can diss my old one, which is causing conflicts on the new system, even with the plug-ins I downloaded.

Last night, I kept the nephews. Mom was over for a little while, during dinner. She was in the kitchen and the boys and I were in the den watching TV and talking while they had dinner. I was sipping on a diet coke. They've got this thing where as they eat, they try to see who can burp the loudest...I know.. I shouldn't encourage it but I do because they're so funny and I like to laugh with them. They always try to get me to burp but I never can...not like they do..but with that diet coke...man, I could let out some great ones. William shouted, "Sherrie Wins! Nana, Sherrie wins the burping." Mom said, "I don't think that's a good game to play, Sherrie." I guess she's right, but it felt good to be one of the 'guys' for a moment.

Tonight, I have to watch them again. Lisa has a workshop from 6-7:30. I'll take them over to her house and keep them there. Then when I get home I plan to work on the finishing touches of the magazine. I can't get the website's page builder to work on the new system. So I'm stuck with doing it at home only. In the past I've been able to work on the website at work while I print but with this system I can't. Once I get caught up on work, I need to contact the support tech for this PC and see if I can get things straightened out.

On the way to work, I put in my velcro rollers, thinking I would take them out once I parked. Well, it didn't. I forgot. As I walked by Wes' store, he was standing at the front door and yelled out, "Hey Curler Head." My luck...he would see that. Another thing for him to pick on me about. It's ok though... I've got a few things on my list for him.

Your Sexy Sandals Are

Roberto Cavalli T5038

What Sexy Sandals Are You?

What the F*%$^%#K?

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want. And that's marriage - with the right person. You're serious about settling down some time soon. Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Who Should Paint You: Andy Warhol

You've got an interested edge that would be reflected in any portrait You don't need any fancy paint techniques to stand out from the crowd!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have high extroversion. You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends. You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation. Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!" Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Poem of Today

A poem in Haibun style


Night settles on the lashes of your eyes, as I watch you sleep. It
seems I am always doing that--watching you sleep in quiet dreams. We
never know what roads we take when we find love, it's dusty trails a
mystery. But I do know this much, I find the simple things in life
are those sought in silence, like the exhalation of sighs on skin,
the faint sheen of sweat after sex and the shelter of your arms as
you hold me.

Night settles on the planes of your body, as I watch you sleep. I
travel them with my eyes and marvel at the dips and curves along the
sculpture of your flesh. My hands and lips know them well. I can
envision every freckle, every dimple and tender spot on you. Under
moonlight, I inspect the pads of my fingertips to see if the paths
they've traveled over your body are engraved in their folds like
they're engraved on my soul.

Night settles on the edges of my eyelashes, as I fight sleep. The
moon whispers that the time has arrived for me to join you in
slumber, to climb the stargazer's ladder to dreamland and seek you
there. But I don't want to surrender the night, because it belongs
to me and silence--the eyes of shadows are mine and I keep you there.

under moonlight's glow
dreams wrap around you and I
like entwining limbs

Feb 5's poem

a cinquain

football
super bowl hype
all glitter no glory
at half-time we make our own show
with sex

(ok... a really bad one, I admit...)

a haiku (it's all I have in me today)

taste of spearmint
flavoring words of love
meant for me

Don't Lose Me

Don't lose me in dreams, as you wander the reeds of yesterday,
pulling at time and trying to find the lost sonnet of today.
I am with you, patiently stepping over the timber you shatter,
as you search for the mysteries that elude you inside this place.
The stride of your step is wide and I cannot tread lightly within it.

Don't lose me, as you seek the comforts of clouds, touching treetops.
I am light of heart but heavy with passion and cannot float so free.
You whisper to the sky above you that inside your dreams lives truth.
Yet you fail to turn around and see that truth is woven in my hair.
In dreams, you seek answers. I seek love, the sonnet of souls as one.

~~~~~~~
Pablo Neruda influenced me.

Today

I feel better. I'm still sinusy but it's better than yesterday. So I didn't go to the doctor. If I take a turn for the worse, I will go.

Went to Al's last night. Took him his resume that I created. I should do more of them for a fee... mine looked impressive. He was so shocked.


Since I didn't feel so well, we hung out on the couch and talked. He made a light supper but I wasn't hungry.

I keep waiting for the little things to get on my nerves...little things, like his disorganization when doing a project or his tendency to be a night owl and run the television wide open...but so far they aren't bothering me. Maybe it's because we have space from each other. He's not here every day and when we do get together, it's fun.

It's amazing how calm I am...so serene and he's always running around trying to do too many things at once. When he gets overwhelmed, I get up and quietly settle things down.

Someone asked me if I would tire of him quickly, since I know him so well. That's a good question. Maybe...maybe not. He's a complex person...the kind I crave and with complexity, there is rarely boredom. It's also like this... I'm not worrying about our March or our September or next year...I'm just taking things as they come. No expectations other than a good time.

He says we're having a quiet Superbowl Weekend... only he and I. Since it's such a 'guy' weekend...with all the football and chicken wings and chili and other heavy foods, I thought he would want to spend it with his buddies. But he says not. I'm betting the game will be over long before his food is ready. lol

I'm still fighting this stupid system. My favorite photo retouch program won't work for long. It keeps freezing. I'm slowly getting caught up. I hope by Saturday to be up to date on stuff. Then Monday, I'll try to organize my workstation. It's a mess!

On the way back from Al's this morning, I could hear DJ JD loud and clear. Since our Oldies station is no more, it was great to hear his. I miss those old tunes. They're great for driving.

William and the attacking Cupcakes

When one of the students in William's first grade class has a birthday, the parents bring cupcakes and they have a party.

Well, since the ecoli situation a few years ago, the parents are only allowed to bring store bought cupcakes. No more homemade stuff.

Tuesday was a birthday day and a mother brought cupcakes. Instead of sitting the huge box on a table and opening it, she chose to open it by the student in the first row, who happened to be William.

She couldn't get the tape undone which holds the box together, so she pulled extr-hard and boom... plop plop plop... 30 chocolate iced cupcakes fall on William's head. He was covered in them. His teacher ran over, fearing that he would cry, because William doesn't like to be dirty. Much less covered in cupcakes. She made a joke and laughed at his shocked face. He was a big sport...took it all in stride.

I saw him briefly yesterday. And said, "William, I heard that a box of chocolate covered cupcakes danced on your head."

He smiled and reached for my hand. "That was yesterday."

"So what happened? Tell me about it."

"Aunt Sherrie, I wanted to run away but there was no where to go. And they kept coming and coming."

A Twist of Satin

At my hips,
a twist of satin
deep red
like rubies
on ivory skin.

I'm tangled
in the weave
of lust
a fabric
of decadence.

I am a
twist of satin
that even
Satan can't
resist.

For February

I'm doing a dorky poem a day ....

I think I posted the first one already...Have a sinus infection (it came on within 24 hours) and can't think.

Your Eyes

Your eyes

Specks of cinnamon
swirl like leaves
in a whirlpool,
hypnotizing me;
a love slave
catering to your lust.

I drown in pupils
so black that night
weeps starlight.
Your eyes are the
palette that love
draws colors from.

And I am the canvas
that love paints upon,
the ebony of night,
the ochre of day.
I weep when I see love
reflected in your eyes.

~~~~~~~~~
I've decided to write a cheesy poem a day to honor February...the month of Fever.