Today

No one on our block is open except us! I should be getting a lot of work done but I'm not. Not feeling the best today...and for some reason the PC is a little slow. Guess I should clean out the files.

Tz may be out of the hospital by tomorrow. He was hoping he could go home today when I talked to him this morning. I haven't taken the time to call since then. May just wait to hear from him when he gets in. Yesterday was his birthday and I don't think he had any visitors other than the girl he dates. She works there and dropped by after she got off and stayed for about 20 mins. I wish I had known he was going to be alone. I would have taken the day off and spent it with him.

But I plan to drop by when he's ready for me once he gets home and back into his routine. Not sure when Radiation/Chemo will start, so we'll play it by ear. At least he's better and stronger than a week ago.

Had an ok weekend with Al. He didn't have a lot to say and spent Sunday on the golf course. When he got back, we had dinner and after dinner I made small talk and told a few jokes. He accused me of drinking!!! I hadn't had a beer or anything...was just being ME...like I always am. Witty and laughing. It hurt my feelings that he assumed I was drinking because I made some corny jokes! I told him he needs to lighten up some and that if we stay 'starched' I'm done with us.

How can one person change so much in 10 months??? Am I crazy to continue to be with him...I did promise to give it to the first of the year but... is this the way it will be until then? I wonder if he even realizes how different he's become... how remote for US he's acting!

I just want to be happy... yet I can't seem to give up on Al.