Bad News...

Thomas had bad news for me when I called yesterday afternoon. It seems his heart is working at 35%! They're doing tests today.

I feel so excluded from what's going on with him. When we talked or rather he talked, he had a distance in his voice that I've never heard. Then in the middle of the conversation he said that the girl he 'dates' was there and they were waiting for the cardiologist to come talk to him. I didn't know what to say to him...only that I was there if he needed me. Then he said, "I'm dealing with some strong emotions right now that I didn't count on having to deal with." We said bye and that was that!

I spent hours in an emotional torment... I realized that that I was not good at being the 'other' woman.

We spent 30 mins on the phone talking Wed night...sweet nothings and how things would get back to where they belong once he was home...

now this!

I am trying to have faith but it's difficult. I feel as if I am doomed to continuiously have love snatched away from me.