have been nice. Although I am very ill with a respiratory illness. Now it seems I've developed a bad sinus infection on top of the bronchitis. My immune system is down according to my doctor. I know it has to do with the stress of the holidays and grieving over Thomas.
I miss him so much. Every morning when I wake I have to remind myself that he's not here. When we had our class dinner last Sunday, I sat watching people interacting and would think.. "I can't wait to tell Thomas about....this or that!" Then I would remember that I can't and a sadness fell over me as I sat watching everyone have so much fun. Scott who was one of Thomas's best friends sat with me and we shared a sort of somberness as we looked around. Neither of us spoke much and when we did it was about Thomas... how he would have loved being there and so on.
Maybe when I am over this illness and feeling stronger, I won't be so sad. Maybe I'll find a way to start living like I was when he was alive, being the woman he so loved and admired.