Thursday, February 01, 2007


We've got cold rain. Fayetteville had snow this morning. Al called early to inform me. He had on the weather channel and told me that Lumberton was on the cusp and probably wouldn't get any snow or ice. We haven't.

But...the public schools in Robeson county are closed. I'm like...WHY? It's only cold rain. Yes, it could have turned into ice easily but it didn't. What are we going to do if it snows? Migrate to Mexico?

I've been depressed this week over a personal issue. Some of you know about it and those that are by chance reading this and are wondering what it is...well, it's ...personal.

But I'm feeling better today, inspite of the wet weather.

I hope da Bears kick Colt Ass on Sunday. Going to hang out with Al. Guess we'll cook wings or the game. I'll probably miss the next segment of HBO's Rome. I told my brother this week that it looks like the main characters will be killed off one by one, since this is the last season and we all know how it ends.

Found a notebook of pieces of stories I've written..little segments of a greater story waiting to unfold. I amaze myself sometimes at how well I write. As I was reading, I kept wondering how I found the voices that speak from the story. I really believe these voices are lurking in the shadows, waiting for an ear to whisper into. Glad mine was the chosen one.

Mom made an Eggnog cake last night. She was at the house for a while. And she left 80% of it there. I ate a piece this morning with my coffe. When my sister came by to drop William off (like I said earlier, school's out and she needed to find a place for him to hang out...he's hanging with Uncle John), I gave her a big chunk of it. My brother won't eat it. He hates anything beyond plain vanilla. It's not a bad cake. Good with a decent cup of java. Not my choice to make but hey, I'm not gonna complain. Thanks Mom.

I thought Robert would pop in my mind frequently, but he hasn't. John said a guy called over the weekend and I'm guessing it was him. I asked John what he told the guy. He said, "I told him you rarely were here on weekends and to call back Monday after 7 pm." Funny, but he ususally tells any male that calls that I'm "at Al, her boyfriend's house." I didn't ask why he didn't this time. Its not that I want to talk to Robert. Part of me wants to see put closure to the old feelings of longing he left behind. But what good would it do... I can't do anything about it in reality. No amount of explanations or excuses could remove the hollow that lived in my heart for so long. It's not there anymore. Al's pretty well filled it. But still, something lives where he used to...just can't place it yet. Maybe I'll let it slip away before a label can be tagged to it.

Work's been ok. I'm staying busy and the studio is starting to get more settings and weddings. Dad's still driving me nuts but I'm able to ignore it and continue working at a steady pace. Trying not to let myself get bogged down again with useless dribble like I have this past year.

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