Outside the Box

I had plans to go out of town this weekend. I need to get away. But alas, the weather doesn’t look promising so I canceled them.

I'm feeling a little better today. Have some work to pump out for Monday. I let it slide yesterday. Right now I'm waiting on our local Elvis impersonator to get here and pick up some work I did for him yesterday. He's stingy--doesn't like to let a quarter go. So I quote high and watch him dicker me down to the price I planned on charging in the first place. Have to watch these Elvis impersonators...I think its the sideburns that makes them crafty.

I was in a funk yesterday. If I were honest with myself—which I should be here at least, if not in real life—I would confess that my fair-weather friend put me in the funk. She is a narcissist. Her world is a box she lives in…and she doesn’t relate to anything outside the box unless it’s a path that dead-ends, so she has to return back to her box. No matter what’s going on in my life, she barely has time to listen to it. She says what comes to mind without thinking of the repercussions of her words.

Wednesday, she called to see if I was going to some sort of Gala, because her boyfriend has tickets and she doesn’t want to go without knowing someone she knows will be there. I imagine she made a bunch of calls before calling me. I’ve dropped down on her list after telling her to quit calling me for advice when she knew she wasn’t going to take it. Hell I have other ways to spend my time and energy besides listening to her problems and giving her advice, she doesn’t really want in the first place.

Anyways, we chatted and she started complaining about her 19 yr old son who has gone wild. He pierced his tongue and won’t work at jobs for long. I think he moved out of her house and is living with some of his friends. It’s her fault that he’s like this. You can’t ignore your children and then wait until they are 18 and then try to be a mother!!! I’m surprised he didn’t go wild sooner. She made an error with me and I don’t think she realized it. She told me I should be happy my baby didn’t live, because I won’t have to experience the trouble she’s going through with her son. At first it rolled off me…and it wasn’t until she was into her next topic that I realized what she had just said! How uncouth that she mention my miscarriage as a blessing!

It isn’t. It’s a sorrow I carry every moment of my life. I do know one thing—my child would never have turned out like her children are turning out. Mainly because I am different that she is. I have a maternal gene. She doesn’t. Her life evolves around her insecure need to have a man in her life. Nothing else matters to her. In a way she’s handicapped, because she can’t function on her own.

I guess I am getting softer, because I didn’t sting her with a reply. I simply told her I had to go and hung up. How can you punish someone for a crime against you when they aren’t aware of anything outside their box?