Bonnie and Her blues

My fair-weather friend Bonnie called. She always has some relationship drama going on. Listening to her romantic problems makes me realize it takes a rare person to be able to walk away and say 'Fuck it' to a relationship that isn't working and make a conscious choice not to fall into any relationship that is only for comforts sake. I guess that makes me a rare person. I like to think I am one helluva person. I find it hard to find a partner in real life that can understand me. It has taken much soul searching and accepting of myself to get here, along with sacrifice.Sacrifice? Explain please, you're thinking. Hmmm hmm that is a tough one for a few sentences. I'll use my last long term relationship as an example...I loved Allen. I gave my whole heart.. and he took more than he gave, but I was fine with that because I loved him so. At that time the love of my life, but there was a point where my soul felt confined... bound to his inadequacies, to where I had to make a choice. Was the love worth me sacrificing my needs-- because by loving him I was drowning inside. As hard as I tried I could grow no gills. But I quelled the feelings and continued to love him. Then one day it dawned on me that in the end, we face life and death alone and do I want to face death with regrets of what could have been, even if that meant my growth would be a journey that I took alone. I knew that to do that would be murder of my soul. So I said goodbye to him... with many tears, I left and found myself. I am glad I did. No regrets.