Shame on me for letting time slip away. I have the usual excuses. The usual bullshit that we all give when we let time go by before we visit a good friend. This blog has always been here for me...to vent, to laugh, to cry and to write cheezy poetry.
Ever since Teez died I've been struggling for words to write. I come to this blog sometimes to write. I log on and stare into the white page of emptiness. Nothing comes to mind. So I leave and tell myself that another day will work. Next time, sometime anything will find its way down my fingers and over the key board.
But nothing.
I discontinued the internet service at work. The only time I get online now is in the mornings or at night...to go Facebooking. I lose myself in the games there. Disco Empire where disco rules and rap drools. To my fairy town, where I build lovely fairy houses so they can breed and make more fairies.... my zoo world where I breed and feed. Of all my friends, the ones I interact with are my game friends.
A sad way to be I think... but I confess. It's my retreat away from things.
This has been a most difficult year. Ever since April, we've been discussing closing the studio. But each time we set a date, we get busy. I take that to mean we should stay open until we set a date and are able to meet it. I figure by Jan, we'll be able to do that. What next? Work from home and see where it goes I guess.
Allen and I are still together. He was in Kuwait working from June 3 until Oct. 30. Supply clerk at Camp Arifjan. He loved it but got screwed out of his contract by a stupid ass who was suppose to cut 96 jerk offs and rotten apples from the company. Instead he just pulled up the first spread list of employees and axed 96 of them. Al included. He's back home now. Depressed and drinking. I am at my wit's end at times.
While he was gone, I thought that I would be able to really invest some time into myself. Write, edit one of my novels, visit friends and Teez's grave. But no... I didn't get to do any.
Al let a 'friend' of his stay in his house rent-free in exchange for keeping Slick-the cat and doing home improvements that Al would fund when he saved up money. The guy turned out to be the worse jerk I've ever known...after a few days he lost the cat. (He brought in pit bulls and I think that's why she got out) This jerk gave me hell. I've never in my life met anyone who considered me, Al's right hand and girl that he adores with all his heart...a third party. That's what the guy called me. When I would relay messages from Al, he would ignore them, saying he needed to talk to him and not a third party. The guy refused to help me find the cat. If I put out food in spots I thought she might hide, he moved it. I set out a trap I borrowed, covered it with brush...he uncovered it and moved it. I once put a bowl of food in it...he took it out and put in a can of salmon. The large kind. Like a cat can eat out of that.
Finally after dealing with this ass for two months, he moves out. Leaving the house a total mess. Dog shit all over the floors, stuff missing like the towels, some furniture...dishes and bowls. He even took one of Al's shoes. Just one. Maybe he's got a third foot somewhere. He scratched up the hardwood floors. He broke some lamps. I cleaned that house from early Sept until mid Oct. It took that long to get the dog crap up. I've never seen the likes of filth that this guy left.
Naturally when Al got home he was pretty upset and still is. We never found the cat. We call for her all the time but I think she's either moved on to a faraway land or is dead.
While he was gone, I had to deal with his personal business. And at times that was tough because he went over there so fast, we didn't get me power of att. Next time, will be different.
What's weird is that dealing with that jerk has changed me in many ways. I have no tolerance for stupidity. I tell it like I see it. Before...I always hung back, trying to find words that would be gentle and kind and it I couldn't find them.. I would stay silent.
When Al came home, I felt a big pressure leave me. The time he spent there, we could only communicate through email and yahoo chat. We discussed things without arguing. We encouraged each other and I think surprised each other as well. Now that he's back, I feel a unity that is amazing. I don't have expectations anymore. I just take each moment we are together and enjoy that moment, even if it's not the best in the world. It's still a moment.
I found my muse again. I'm writing my 7th novel for NaNoWriMo.org. And it's flowing off my fingers. I am at 39,000 words as I write now. I know I'll finish this one ..that is if the creek don't rise. I've got a 4/3 record and I hope I make it a 5/3 this year.
Please forgive me for not writing, dear blog. Maybe now that I have words again. I'll be back sooner than you think.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Friday, December 18, 2009
Merry Christmas!
Even though I don't have time to sit and write, I am gonna do it anyway. Maybe after the New Year, I'll get back to writing. I know I've said it before but I can feel words developing in my mind and an urge to sit and write is stirring a little.
It's been a difficult year. May be 2010 will be brighter. I know some major changes will be made and have already started...
Granny is now in a nursing home that has a special Alzheimer's unit. The Friday after T-day, she got out of her house at 12:30 am and wasn't found until 8:30 am. Her core temp was 91 and she was in intensive care for a few days. Luckily she survived. It was cold but not below freezing all that night. The irony of it all was that she had ventured across the road over towards where some construction had been going on. She fell behind some heavy brush and couldn't get up. It's amazing she lived, especially since she was only wearing a thin nightie, no shoes or socks.
But luckily for us she is in good hands now and has no major damage done to her body due to the hyperthermia she sufferred. Mom was told that Granny has the vitals of a teenager. You know...God does take care of his own. Granny was a very religious lady all of her life and God won't forget that.
Sam's better and was working yesterday. I didn't have time to call and check on him. Nor have I had time to do anything fun with my chick friends. We may have dinner one night this week to share a drink and to laugh together one last time before the New Year.
My wish for all is to be happy and to embrace those around you whom you love. Life is so short and can change in a heartbeat.
Much Love and Happy Holidays.
It's been a difficult year. May be 2010 will be brighter. I know some major changes will be made and have already started...
Granny is now in a nursing home that has a special Alzheimer's unit. The Friday after T-day, she got out of her house at 12:30 am and wasn't found until 8:30 am. Her core temp was 91 and she was in intensive care for a few days. Luckily she survived. It was cold but not below freezing all that night. The irony of it all was that she had ventured across the road over towards where some construction had been going on. She fell behind some heavy brush and couldn't get up. It's amazing she lived, especially since she was only wearing a thin nightie, no shoes or socks.
But luckily for us she is in good hands now and has no major damage done to her body due to the hyperthermia she sufferred. Mom was told that Granny has the vitals of a teenager. You know...God does take care of his own. Granny was a very religious lady all of her life and God won't forget that.
Sam's better and was working yesterday. I didn't have time to call and check on him. Nor have I had time to do anything fun with my chick friends. We may have dinner one night this week to share a drink and to laugh together one last time before the New Year.
My wish for all is to be happy and to embrace those around you whom you love. Life is so short and can change in a heartbeat.
Much Love and Happy Holidays.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Where did October get too?
Ya know...I think about writing but it doesn't get past the thought very often of late. I sneak in and read blogs when I can, which isn't very often of late.
So much seems to have happened since last fall that has changed me so much in many ways..at least with my online life. I spend more time with friends and family. When I do log on it's usually Facebook that I hit, hiding out doing the games and reading walls.
My words feel as if they aren't mine when I try to write, except the Children's Novel I'm doing for NaNoWriMo.org. But that's "Child Play."
My second Mother, Mary died on my birthday (Oct. 23). She had a heart attack. She went fast and with no pain. I feel as if another piece of me is gone. I could tell her anything and she would give me advise without preaching, treating me as an equal. On more than one occasion, she told me that I was the daughter she never had. Last night I had a dream that she called me. We spent a few minutes talking about some books I lent her (which are still at her house), and then I remembered she was dead. I said, "Mary, I was told that you died." She said, "Who told you that load of Shit?" I said, "Your son and his wife." Silence answered and I kept saying into the silence,"Mary are you there?" Then I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. It seemed so real.
A few weeks ago my Great Uncle Buddy died from old age. He spent the last few weeks of his life in a nursing home and was the happiest we've seen him in years. I miss his gruffness. And still look over at his house from my backyard, thinking he's there.
In October, we almost lost the business due to banking mistakes Dad made. But we managed to pull out of the crisis. I am not sure if I'll be here in March. I know I've said it before but Dad refuses to turn things over to me and I am tired of drifting along with him, stifled by the shell I've outgrown.
Sam's health is not good. He has kidney disease due to his diabetes and was doing home dialysis until he had a heart attack last week. It's pretty bad but I keep praying that he'll get thru this. I'm afraid for him, especially after knowing what Thomas went thru.
Sorry...didn't mean to make this post so melancholoy. Things aren't as bad as they could be.
On to brighter things... I'm selling Avon part-time. My Grandmother Leggett would be proud. She sold it for over 26 years. So far I am doing okay with it. I don't plan on making a career out of it, and the discounts I get make the perks worth it.
Al and I are doing fantastic. He's not Thomas. And I know that he will never be like Thomas, but he's doing better and making an effort to be loving and less demanding on my time. He's supportive and talks strongly of a future together. Yes, he drives me nuts but he's my Al and I love in because of the nuts.
The nephews are great. William is adjusting to private school. He's taller than I am. I'll have to remember to upload the Halloween pictues. Ben is struggling with 3rd grade. I really believe he would profit if he were held back a year. He's so immature for his age and is too bright a child to have poor grades.
I spoke with my friend Keith--the one who has Lou Gerigh's disease yesterday. He never complains and is always so uplifting. I shouldn't be sad about the things I can't change and embrace what I do have. Love, Health and the ability to do anything I want.
So much seems to have happened since last fall that has changed me so much in many ways..at least with my online life. I spend more time with friends and family. When I do log on it's usually Facebook that I hit, hiding out doing the games and reading walls.
My words feel as if they aren't mine when I try to write, except the Children's Novel I'm doing for NaNoWriMo.org. But that's "Child Play."
My second Mother, Mary died on my birthday (Oct. 23). She had a heart attack. She went fast and with no pain. I feel as if another piece of me is gone. I could tell her anything and she would give me advise without preaching, treating me as an equal. On more than one occasion, she told me that I was the daughter she never had. Last night I had a dream that she called me. We spent a few minutes talking about some books I lent her (which are still at her house), and then I remembered she was dead. I said, "Mary, I was told that you died." She said, "Who told you that load of Shit?" I said, "Your son and his wife." Silence answered and I kept saying into the silence,"Mary are you there?" Then I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. It seemed so real.
A few weeks ago my Great Uncle Buddy died from old age. He spent the last few weeks of his life in a nursing home and was the happiest we've seen him in years. I miss his gruffness. And still look over at his house from my backyard, thinking he's there.
In October, we almost lost the business due to banking mistakes Dad made. But we managed to pull out of the crisis. I am not sure if I'll be here in March. I know I've said it before but Dad refuses to turn things over to me and I am tired of drifting along with him, stifled by the shell I've outgrown.
Sam's health is not good. He has kidney disease due to his diabetes and was doing home dialysis until he had a heart attack last week. It's pretty bad but I keep praying that he'll get thru this. I'm afraid for him, especially after knowing what Thomas went thru.
Sorry...didn't mean to make this post so melancholoy. Things aren't as bad as they could be.
On to brighter things... I'm selling Avon part-time. My Grandmother Leggett would be proud. She sold it for over 26 years. So far I am doing okay with it. I don't plan on making a career out of it, and the discounts I get make the perks worth it.
Al and I are doing fantastic. He's not Thomas. And I know that he will never be like Thomas, but he's doing better and making an effort to be loving and less demanding on my time. He's supportive and talks strongly of a future together. Yes, he drives me nuts but he's my Al and I love in because of the nuts.
The nephews are great. William is adjusting to private school. He's taller than I am. I'll have to remember to upload the Halloween pictues. Ben is struggling with 3rd grade. I really believe he would profit if he were held back a year. He's so immature for his age and is too bright a child to have poor grades.
I spoke with my friend Keith--the one who has Lou Gerigh's disease yesterday. He never complains and is always so uplifting. I shouldn't be sad about the things I can't change and embrace what I do have. Love, Health and the ability to do anything I want.
Friday, September 25, 2009
September
I thought I would have thoughts to blog but didn't...and so almost another month goes by without a post.
But I did manage to squeeze out a poem...it's about Thomas. Labor day weekend was the beginning of our private 'reunion.' As you can guess, I have been feeling a bit wistful and sad these last few weeks. Although I have gotten good at hiding it. Time may heal wounds but it doesn't lessen the memories. Thank God ours were good ones.
September Sees
September sees the flowing memories
of you in my mind's eye,
the frothy churning of desire
that once flooded the gates of our lives.
You were my rare shooting star
blinding me with exotic wonderment.
We were caught center stage,
blissfully ignorant of the world around us.
Every stolen moment, a treasure unearthed;
Every shared secret, a precious gift of gold.
Embraces were our rubies and diamonds
until the day the moon aligned with Venus.
There is no playground of the Gods
lurking on the fringe of tomorrow,
nor is there a bright yellow sun
shining on the promise of today.
All we have are crimson yesterdays,
so brilliant that they put the waning stars
out of their bittersweet misery,
while branding images into my mournful soul.
But I did manage to squeeze out a poem...it's about Thomas. Labor day weekend was the beginning of our private 'reunion.' As you can guess, I have been feeling a bit wistful and sad these last few weeks. Although I have gotten good at hiding it. Time may heal wounds but it doesn't lessen the memories. Thank God ours were good ones.
September Sees
September sees the flowing memories
of you in my mind's eye,
the frothy churning of desire
that once flooded the gates of our lives.
You were my rare shooting star
blinding me with exotic wonderment.
We were caught center stage,
blissfully ignorant of the world around us.
Every stolen moment, a treasure unearthed;
Every shared secret, a precious gift of gold.
Embraces were our rubies and diamonds
until the day the moon aligned with Venus.
There is no playground of the Gods
lurking on the fringe of tomorrow,
nor is there a bright yellow sun
shining on the promise of today.
All we have are crimson yesterdays,
so brilliant that they put the waning stars
out of their bittersweet misery,
while branding images into my mournful soul.
Monday, August 31, 2009
I actually feel like blogging!
A very urgent feeling overcame me just now... Blog! So I am. Although I have a gob of work to do.
Been fighting a respiratory bug. These things always start out as head congestion and end up in my chest--I'm running on 70%. I blame it on the Crepe Myrtles. It seems I get something every year when they bloom.
Things have been going ok. The nephews are back in school. So far William loves the Christian School. Ben has a good teachter this year--one of William's old ones. He will have to deal with EOGs this year.
He came up with a great excuse not to get into the shower on Friday night... he said, "But it smells like BUTT in there."
This coming Saturday will be fun. Michele is hosting another Murder Mystery party..this one is called "Trailer Trash Tragedy." I play the 'mother hen' of the trailer park-Fanny Mason. She snoops and gossips. Oh what fun. Don't think I mentioned the last one.. it was in July. It was called Murder in Margaritaville. Set in the 80's at a bar in the Keyes. We had so much fun. Michele has pictures and I'll try to get them this weekend. Al even participated. He placed a gambler "Otto Getmore" and I played the hippie/artist "Sunny Daze"--a nickname that I won't live down for a long time. When we got there, everyone was in character and that's how we introduced ourselves. After the mystery was over, we went around and re-introduced ourselves. If you've never done one of these and get the chance, I say do it.
We've got some major rain today. I hope all my readers are doing great. Stay safe.
Been fighting a respiratory bug. These things always start out as head congestion and end up in my chest--I'm running on 70%. I blame it on the Crepe Myrtles. It seems I get something every year when they bloom.
Things have been going ok. The nephews are back in school. So far William loves the Christian School. Ben has a good teachter this year--one of William's old ones. He will have to deal with EOGs this year.
He came up with a great excuse not to get into the shower on Friday night... he said, "But it smells like BUTT in there."
This coming Saturday will be fun. Michele is hosting another Murder Mystery party..this one is called "Trailer Trash Tragedy." I play the 'mother hen' of the trailer park-Fanny Mason. She snoops and gossips. Oh what fun. Don't think I mentioned the last one.. it was in July. It was called Murder in Margaritaville. Set in the 80's at a bar in the Keyes. We had so much fun. Michele has pictures and I'll try to get them this weekend. Al even participated. He placed a gambler "Otto Getmore" and I played the hippie/artist "Sunny Daze"--a nickname that I won't live down for a long time. When we got there, everyone was in character and that's how we introduced ourselves. After the mystery was over, we went around and re-introduced ourselves. If you've never done one of these and get the chance, I say do it.
We've got some major rain today. I hope all my readers are doing great. Stay safe.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Body Parts
There are ten human body parts that are only three letters long: eye, hip, arm,
leg, ear, toe, jaw, rib, lip, gum.
Wonder why Ass isn't listed?
leg, ear, toe, jaw, rib, lip, gum.
Wonder why Ass isn't listed?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Hot time in the City
Boy has time flew by! I can't believe I let so many weeks, days, hours and minutes past without writing. I really thought that once the reunion was over I would have more time to write. Well, in ways I did have more time but in other ways I didn't. My work load for the last few months has been very strenuous. A good thing in this age of digital photography! I'm restoring a lot of photos and the good part of it is that most of the new clients are referrals. We've slacked off in portrait photo sessions and weddings but Dad's been doing a lot of commercial work. I guess it all works out so that we don't go under, like so many other professional photographers. I think we are one of about 3 with studios that are open during business hours.
Al and I are doing so much better since the intimacy returned. I really believe that's one of the reasons couples don't make it...without intimacy there is no emotional bonding and that's an important key to happiness. Sure, Al and I still have problems but they are easier to work through knowing that we are on the same path again. I think I have Thomas to thank for that... I don't take Al for granted any more and I think he does the same with me. We express affection and tell each other that we appreciate what the other does and is!
Yes, I miss Thomas. So very much. I really don't think I will ever come across another person who has those wonderful qualities that he had. He came back into my life on Labor Day weekend and I know that this fall will be hard for me... I'll feel sad a lot but I'm hopeful that the good memories I have will help me through this. I can still see him standing on his porch, leaning over the rail of his deck as I opened my truck door and said "Talk to you in a little while." And his reply, "I can only hope."
As did I!
The nephews are doing great. William is attending a private Christian school. It will be tight for my sister but it's the best for him. There was no way he could have dealt with the middle school and it's mix of personalities, especially the 'gangs.' So far William is doing great. He's matured a lot this summer and is taller than I am. I will have to find some photos and post them. Ben will start school next week and is spending the day with me at work. He's on the old PC as I type, playing a baseball game and give me momently reports. He'll be in the 3rd grade..a tough one with the first EOG testing. We've been concerned with his weight...he's dropped from 63 lbs to 57 lbs. We think it has to do with Concerta...the ADHD drug he's taking. He told me this morning that he's never hungry.
We had some fun adventures this summer. I took them with me on a trip to Ocean Isle Beach NC to see my old roomie, Jeri. They had a blast in the ocean and then in the pool. William was a social butterfly. He had me speechless a few times with his comments to Jeri and others. He struck up conversations and made all of us laugh. When the boys were in the pool, there were a few other kids in there with them. They had a water gun fight and then tossed a ball to each other. The ball sank to the bottom once and William said to a boy, "Hey Kid, can you get that ball for me? I can't breathe under water like you can!" Jeri and I laughed our butts off.
Saw the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It reminded me of the third installment... there were things they could have kept out..like the fight in the 'swamp' which didn't take place in the book and added the huge battle at the end of the book. But I must confess that I liked the way they dealt with Dumbledore's death. I hope that they do justice to the last book with film...it will be interesting to see what they take out and what they add.
The one movie I saw that I thought rocked was the Star Trek movie. What a genius writer... the plot was excellent and ...now they can make new movies without worrying about the past ones. I really like the guy who played McKoy! He nailed his personality. I truly hope that there will be more movies.
Also saw "Mama Mia!" this week on HBO On-demand. It was really cute. The music rocked. I love ABBA...and I probably will grab the DVD once the price goes down...or when it appears in those $5 DVD bins at Walmart. HAHA.
Granny is hanging in there. She's in diapers now because she forgets to use the bathroom. She can't carry on a conversation...but I noticed that at times she can follow a conversation if there isn't a lot of people participating. She doesn't say mine or Mom's name but we believe she knows who we are. Please keep her in your prayers.
Still in touch with some of my classmates. Not all have kept up their part of the 'deal' but I find time to call them even if they promise to call me or 'get-together soon.' Sherry Aka Shook-em and I plan to attend a concert at UNC-P...Davy Jones (and a million women my age or older scream!)
Writing...I believe this is the most I've written in ages. I think I am slowly returning to it..once I get bored with the apps on Facebook...lol.. I do love those games.
But... I confess ...it is good to write. I am amazed with how fast words are flying off the keyboard and forming sentences. Now..if only I can find my poetry voice. Maybe I should start with "Sher-ku."
A few words
sentences flowing...
dust off muse
Al and I are doing so much better since the intimacy returned. I really believe that's one of the reasons couples don't make it...without intimacy there is no emotional bonding and that's an important key to happiness. Sure, Al and I still have problems but they are easier to work through knowing that we are on the same path again. I think I have Thomas to thank for that... I don't take Al for granted any more and I think he does the same with me. We express affection and tell each other that we appreciate what the other does and is!
Yes, I miss Thomas. So very much. I really don't think I will ever come across another person who has those wonderful qualities that he had. He came back into my life on Labor Day weekend and I know that this fall will be hard for me... I'll feel sad a lot but I'm hopeful that the good memories I have will help me through this. I can still see him standing on his porch, leaning over the rail of his deck as I opened my truck door and said "Talk to you in a little while." And his reply, "I can only hope."
As did I!
The nephews are doing great. William is attending a private Christian school. It will be tight for my sister but it's the best for him. There was no way he could have dealt with the middle school and it's mix of personalities, especially the 'gangs.' So far William is doing great. He's matured a lot this summer and is taller than I am. I will have to find some photos and post them. Ben will start school next week and is spending the day with me at work. He's on the old PC as I type, playing a baseball game and give me momently reports. He'll be in the 3rd grade..a tough one with the first EOG testing. We've been concerned with his weight...he's dropped from 63 lbs to 57 lbs. We think it has to do with Concerta...the ADHD drug he's taking. He told me this morning that he's never hungry.
We had some fun adventures this summer. I took them with me on a trip to Ocean Isle Beach NC to see my old roomie, Jeri. They had a blast in the ocean and then in the pool. William was a social butterfly. He had me speechless a few times with his comments to Jeri and others. He struck up conversations and made all of us laugh. When the boys were in the pool, there were a few other kids in there with them. They had a water gun fight and then tossed a ball to each other. The ball sank to the bottom once and William said to a boy, "Hey Kid, can you get that ball for me? I can't breathe under water like you can!" Jeri and I laughed our butts off.
Saw the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It reminded me of the third installment... there were things they could have kept out..like the fight in the 'swamp' which didn't take place in the book and added the huge battle at the end of the book. But I must confess that I liked the way they dealt with Dumbledore's death. I hope that they do justice to the last book with film...it will be interesting to see what they take out and what they add.
The one movie I saw that I thought rocked was the Star Trek movie. What a genius writer... the plot was excellent and ...now they can make new movies without worrying about the past ones. I really like the guy who played McKoy! He nailed his personality. I truly hope that there will be more movies.
Also saw "Mama Mia!" this week on HBO On-demand. It was really cute. The music rocked. I love ABBA...and I probably will grab the DVD once the price goes down...or when it appears in those $5 DVD bins at Walmart. HAHA.
Granny is hanging in there. She's in diapers now because she forgets to use the bathroom. She can't carry on a conversation...but I noticed that at times she can follow a conversation if there isn't a lot of people participating. She doesn't say mine or Mom's name but we believe she knows who we are. Please keep her in your prayers.
Still in touch with some of my classmates. Not all have kept up their part of the 'deal' but I find time to call them even if they promise to call me or 'get-together soon.' Sherry Aka Shook-em and I plan to attend a concert at UNC-P...Davy Jones (and a million women my age or older scream!)
Writing...I believe this is the most I've written in ages. I think I am slowly returning to it..once I get bored with the apps on Facebook...lol.. I do love those games.
But... I confess ...it is good to write. I am amazed with how fast words are flying off the keyboard and forming sentences. Now..if only I can find my poetry voice. Maybe I should start with "Sher-ku."
A few words
sentences flowing...
dust off muse
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Reunion photos
The DVD that Rocks!
Me (on the left) with my BBF's Donna and Shookem
Me with my rum and coke ice (yep.. I sucked it down) This is towards the end of the night.
Me and Bryan, my buddy. We were grade school sweethearts. He's probably the funniest guy I know who doesn't mean to be funny.
Our whole group. That's Keith in the wheelchair. He's the one who has Lou Gerigh's disease.
I have more pictures but you wouldn't know any of the people. I posted the ones that mean the most to me...or rather the ones that mean so much that I can share with ya.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
My Class Reunion
ROCKED! It was the best ever... everyone behaved and had a blast. I've gotten calls from almost everyone telling me how much fun they had and would I please do another one.
So...I said yes.. ok I'm nuts but I figured since I've got the worse part over (finding people), it shouldn't be so hard. We're shooting for April 2011. Our 30th reunion!
I've got plenty of time to work on it and now I can get back to being me...and writing, laughing and enjoying my life.
So...I said yes.. ok I'm nuts but I figured since I've got the worse part over (finding people), it shouldn't be so hard. We're shooting for April 2011. Our 30th reunion!
I've got plenty of time to work on it and now I can get back to being me...and writing, laughing and enjoying my life.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A Poem (since I have no time to blog)
Stealing Wine
There is sin
in the slow gin
of your kiss
intoxicating
the sultry heart
of my world
How can Heaven
move Earth
while you're here?
Stealing the wine
of my soul
with
your
kiss
There is sin
in the slow gin
of your kiss
intoxicating
the sultry heart
of my world
How can Heaven
move Earth
while you're here?
Stealing the wine
of my soul
with
your
kiss
Thursday, May 21, 2009
9 More Days
So far I've gotten through our prom nights, my family reunion and the nephews' field trips...all that's left is the class reunion.
9 more days. May 30th!
Then I hope my life returns back to me to do as I feel like doing.
It's been a stressful six months... and I am so ready to find me again.
The reunion plans are falling into place. I've got 50 paid people (30 class/20 dates)...maybe a few more to add on Tues. Know what's ironic? Bon my ex-fair-weather friend hasn't paid her money. Everyone knows she's the one who pushed this reunion and she fell through the cracks in the planning of it and now she's gonna pretend to be a victim of 'high school antics' and not come to the reunion.
To be honest I hope she doesn't. She's been nothing but a headache these last few months. Changing things said to suit her purpose, telling half-truths and draining energy of all around her. I had a feeling we would end up like this..as non-friends. But I'm ok with it. I was more of a friend to her than she was to me. And my life will be less stressful with her out of the picture.
May 30 will be 6 months since I last spoke to Thomas. I still miss him so much.
But anyways...thought I would post and let my readers know I am alive. If I have any readers left and I promise to catch up on email to Bob, Steve, J and others. Sorry about the silence. But my engery focus has been elsewhere.
9 more days. May 30th!
Then I hope my life returns back to me to do as I feel like doing.
It's been a stressful six months... and I am so ready to find me again.
The reunion plans are falling into place. I've got 50 paid people (30 class/20 dates)...maybe a few more to add on Tues. Know what's ironic? Bon my ex-fair-weather friend hasn't paid her money. Everyone knows she's the one who pushed this reunion and she fell through the cracks in the planning of it and now she's gonna pretend to be a victim of 'high school antics' and not come to the reunion.
To be honest I hope she doesn't. She's been nothing but a headache these last few months. Changing things said to suit her purpose, telling half-truths and draining energy of all around her. I had a feeling we would end up like this..as non-friends. But I'm ok with it. I was more of a friend to her than she was to me. And my life will be less stressful with her out of the picture.
May 30 will be 6 months since I last spoke to Thomas. I still miss him so much.
But anyways...thought I would post and let my readers know I am alive. If I have any readers left and I promise to catch up on email to Bob, Steve, J and others. Sorry about the silence. But my engery focus has been elsewhere.
Friday, May 08, 2009
from Easte
Yep...that's Al with the fishing rod. ANd the last photo is of Al, trying to show the boys where an Easter Egg was...one that they kept walking by and I kept pointing out.
Here and there...now here again
I am ashamed I haven't blogged in ages. I'm sure my readers have moved on to greener blog pastures. I'm alone tonight and figured I would drop by with some news, yet I hardly know where to start.
Today was a wonderful day. I was lucky to find myself on a field trip to the Riverbanks zoo with Ben's 2nd grade class. If you recall I went with William's class two years ago. William came along on this one just like Ben tagged along on his trip. This time William did great...he controlled his boredom and we were able to really enjoy the exhibits.
The funniest part of the whole trip was when we went into one section that had little monkeys in it... the Spider Monkeys were doing a porn flick and I noticed a lady walking by with her hands covering her small child's eyes. Ben noticed her actions and turned to me to say ""Aunt Sherrie, doesn't she like it when monkeys wrestle?"
Oh boy... I had to contain a laugh that wanted to spring out loud and clear. Kids say funny things. We had so much fun. Ben loves Animals as much as I do. The penquins were the coolest...and the brown bear and the sea lion and the birds and the flamingo and the giraffe...ok...the whole zoo was cool.
About a week ago I took up the carpet in my bedroom and am now using the original hard wood flooring. I can tell a difference with my allegeries. I don't wake up all congested. I changed the room about and feel a bit of a revival of spirit. My class reunion planning has been so stressful. It's May 30 and people are just now responding even though I asked for money and RSVP's to be turned in by April 15. I've had to call, beg and finally get a bit angry with the procrastinators. When it's all over, I know I'll feel a bit lost...it's consumed me since August.
I'm still missing Teez but am better about it. The hardest part is planning the reunion without him. He wanted so badly not to be on the memory table. Instead of a program booklet, I'm doing an old-fashioned school newspaper. He was the editor of it our senior year and did drawings for it. I scanned them and will use them in his honor. I think he would love this...he so wanted to be a part of the planning and all. He was a great listener and encourager. I miss that.
Some days I feel as if I'll never return to being Shere..Sherrie...Fairy..Carnie...maybe I won't ever truly be who I once was. All I can hope for is that the side of me he brought out so vividly will find a way to return...and be that bright starlight he so loved.
Things with Al are status quo. Hopefully I'll find time to get back here and blog soon.
I miss all of you.
love,
Shere
Today was a wonderful day. I was lucky to find myself on a field trip to the Riverbanks zoo with Ben's 2nd grade class. If you recall I went with William's class two years ago. William came along on this one just like Ben tagged along on his trip. This time William did great...he controlled his boredom and we were able to really enjoy the exhibits.
The funniest part of the whole trip was when we went into one section that had little monkeys in it... the Spider Monkeys were doing a porn flick and I noticed a lady walking by with her hands covering her small child's eyes. Ben noticed her actions and turned to me to say ""Aunt Sherrie, doesn't she like it when monkeys wrestle?"
Oh boy... I had to contain a laugh that wanted to spring out loud and clear. Kids say funny things. We had so much fun. Ben loves Animals as much as I do. The penquins were the coolest...and the brown bear and the sea lion and the birds and the flamingo and the giraffe...ok...the whole zoo was cool.
About a week ago I took up the carpet in my bedroom and am now using the original hard wood flooring. I can tell a difference with my allegeries. I don't wake up all congested. I changed the room about and feel a bit of a revival of spirit. My class reunion planning has been so stressful. It's May 30 and people are just now responding even though I asked for money and RSVP's to be turned in by April 15. I've had to call, beg and finally get a bit angry with the procrastinators. When it's all over, I know I'll feel a bit lost...it's consumed me since August.
I'm still missing Teez but am better about it. The hardest part is planning the reunion without him. He wanted so badly not to be on the memory table. Instead of a program booklet, I'm doing an old-fashioned school newspaper. He was the editor of it our senior year and did drawings for it. I scanned them and will use them in his honor. I think he would love this...he so wanted to be a part of the planning and all. He was a great listener and encourager. I miss that.
Some days I feel as if I'll never return to being Shere..Sherrie...Fairy..Carnie...maybe I won't ever truly be who I once was. All I can hope for is that the side of me he brought out so vividly will find a way to return...and be that bright starlight he so loved.
Things with Al are status quo. Hopefully I'll find time to get back here and blog soon.
I miss all of you.
love,
Shere
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Reading
Tonight was the first time I've spent hours reading in total silence in a long time. I had things to do; chores, laundry, etc but it is really cold tonight. So I grabbed a blanket and crawled into my semi-new recliner and read until 11 pm! No interruptions. I feel a bit refreshed and have an urge to write...so I think I'll log off this darn PC and grab a pen/paper...see if anything blog worthy pops out.
My Heels
I must say I am pleased with my heels. They really are the best and they've worked hard to get there. Take a bow guys, you deserve it.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Ketchup and...mustard
So much to blog about...where to start is a good question!
1) The Tarheels! I was sort of disappointed that they won so easily against 'Nova. I wanted a heated matchup....one that would have Al on his toes! But it didn't work out that way. So tonight's the night... I've got my toes polished with Carolina Blue nail polish...Let's do it, guys. Don't let Mamma Sherrie down.
2)Al is still fighting a respiratory illness. He drove me crazy last weekend. Wouldn't go to the doctor to get meds. He coughed so violently that I thought his lungs would explode. Couldn't eat. I made chicken soup. Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday, I beg him to go to Urgent care to get cough meds and antibioditcs...but no, he kept saying he was getting better. When I left Monday morning, I told him he should get dressed and go on... he said No... Then at around 1 pm, he calls and tells me he gives up...that he wanted to go to Urgent care and would I take him. I was at work...covered to my ears in photos. I just couldn't drop everything and drive 40 mins to his place. So I told him I couldn't get there until 6:30. That he needed to be ready to go because they stop taking patients at 7. Was he ready? Hell no! He was primping in the bathroom and then at 10 til 7 he calls the Urgent care place and hands me the phone. They confirmed what I thought...they weren't taking any more patients. So ... I wasted a trip up there. Now ... what really made me irritated was that he drove over to his barber and got a haircut...why didn't he go on to the Urgent care then!! But he did go the next morning and got what he needed.
3) Went on a field trip with William's grade this past Friday. It was to the Marbles Kids Museum and the Imax Theatre in Raleigh. Really cool! The Marbles Museum is sort of like a huge exploration station thing. Lots of activities for the kids to do. They had a Power Food presentation and I cracked up at William, his best friend Dylan and another boy named Brandon trying to make a meal for Lance Armstrong. I should write Lance and tell him what they planned to feed him: A sandwich with lettuce, tomato and celery. Some slices of turkey on the side and water. I kept telling them that he needed fruit and grains and milk. Finally his teacher came over and told them the same thing...and they listened to her.
After that they played hockey (there was a small rink set up and the kids could put on jerseys and wack pucks. William jumped right in...something I've never seen him do. Then he and his two guys went to the pirate ship and spent almost an hour playing there with a bunch of little tykes of around 5 years. I laughed at them because Dylan was the top pirate. He stood up in the Crow's nest, yelling out instructions "Swab the deck"...now "sword fight"..."sweep the deck".."Hoist the anchor." And all the kids listened to him. They were working like a well-oiled machine. One mother of one of the 5-yr-old kids said, "I can't believe my son is sweeping." I suggested she turn his bedroom into a pirate ship and then the cleaning worries would be over.
Later we ventured to another area called "World Trek"... this exhibit covered the Artic, Rio Del Janero, Moraccoo and Berlin. There was an igloo section where the kids could make igloos and hide in them with these big stuffed huskies. The Rio Del Janero (spelling?) had a big set of drums and a carnival mask making section. There was a huge TV screen that showed a segment the largest parade on the earth--called Carnaval. It was really cool. Loud but cool. No one seemed interested in the Moroccian Street fair section with an outdoor market. And even worse...no one noticed the section of the Berlin Wall.
I did. I touched it and was so humbled that I felt like crying. To think that so many died trying to get over it to Freedom, something we all take for granted. Below is a picture I took of it. Strange that I got it because the camera would not take any pictures of the hockey session or of the pirate ship activity...yet it took this picture....and then nothing else.
After a few hours at the Marbles museum, we ventured over to the Imax theatre. If you've ever been to one, you know how cool it is. If not...you're missing out. We saw a movie on a Coral Reef outside of Australia. At an Imax theatre, you wear 3-D glasses and the images come right up to your face. The underwater scenes were very realistic. You could see debris floating in the water. Fish and other thingies like sea snakes, jelly fish, sharks and sea lions came right up to your face. I didn't care for the snakes..they were eerie but I did fall in love with the Sea Dragons--they are similiar to sea horses. It was really cool. Jim Carrey narrated it.
4) On the way to Raleigh, we drove up I-40...Thomas lived right off that highway and when we passed the exit, I felt a sadness so sharp I thought I would lose my breath. But I didn't. It was too much for me though. But I didn't dwell on it because my sister is a horrible driver and I spent a lot of time holdin' my breath and praying. On the way back I had her drive the 401 by-pass...it's a little longer drive but my sanity was intact...plus to be honest, I couldn't take driving by Teez's exit. I think that's what set off one of the worst weekends I've had since he died. I was on the edge of tears most of the time...and Sunday I spent a lot of time wiping tears away. I felt his loss so strongly that I thought I would break into two pieces.
I'm better today. Don't know why...but I am. Maybe I'm learning to tolerate the loss.
1) The Tarheels! I was sort of disappointed that they won so easily against 'Nova. I wanted a heated matchup....one that would have Al on his toes! But it didn't work out that way. So tonight's the night... I've got my toes polished with Carolina Blue nail polish...Let's do it, guys. Don't let Mamma Sherrie down.
2)Al is still fighting a respiratory illness. He drove me crazy last weekend. Wouldn't go to the doctor to get meds. He coughed so violently that I thought his lungs would explode. Couldn't eat. I made chicken soup. Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday, I beg him to go to Urgent care to get cough meds and antibioditcs...but no, he kept saying he was getting better. When I left Monday morning, I told him he should get dressed and go on... he said No... Then at around 1 pm, he calls and tells me he gives up...that he wanted to go to Urgent care and would I take him. I was at work...covered to my ears in photos. I just couldn't drop everything and drive 40 mins to his place. So I told him I couldn't get there until 6:30. That he needed to be ready to go because they stop taking patients at 7. Was he ready? Hell no! He was primping in the bathroom and then at 10 til 7 he calls the Urgent care place and hands me the phone. They confirmed what I thought...they weren't taking any more patients. So ... I wasted a trip up there. Now ... what really made me irritated was that he drove over to his barber and got a haircut...why didn't he go on to the Urgent care then!! But he did go the next morning and got what he needed.
3) Went on a field trip with William's grade this past Friday. It was to the Marbles Kids Museum and the Imax Theatre in Raleigh. Really cool! The Marbles Museum is sort of like a huge exploration station thing. Lots of activities for the kids to do. They had a Power Food presentation and I cracked up at William, his best friend Dylan and another boy named Brandon trying to make a meal for Lance Armstrong. I should write Lance and tell him what they planned to feed him: A sandwich with lettuce, tomato and celery. Some slices of turkey on the side and water. I kept telling them that he needed fruit and grains and milk. Finally his teacher came over and told them the same thing...and they listened to her.
After that they played hockey (there was a small rink set up and the kids could put on jerseys and wack pucks. William jumped right in...something I've never seen him do. Then he and his two guys went to the pirate ship and spent almost an hour playing there with a bunch of little tykes of around 5 years. I laughed at them because Dylan was the top pirate. He stood up in the Crow's nest, yelling out instructions "Swab the deck"...now "sword fight"..."sweep the deck".."Hoist the anchor." And all the kids listened to him. They were working like a well-oiled machine. One mother of one of the 5-yr-old kids said, "I can't believe my son is sweeping." I suggested she turn his bedroom into a pirate ship and then the cleaning worries would be over.
Later we ventured to another area called "World Trek"... this exhibit covered the Artic, Rio Del Janero, Moraccoo and Berlin. There was an igloo section where the kids could make igloos and hide in them with these big stuffed huskies. The Rio Del Janero (spelling?) had a big set of drums and a carnival mask making section. There was a huge TV screen that showed a segment the largest parade on the earth--called Carnaval. It was really cool. Loud but cool. No one seemed interested in the Moroccian Street fair section with an outdoor market. And even worse...no one noticed the section of the Berlin Wall.
I did. I touched it and was so humbled that I felt like crying. To think that so many died trying to get over it to Freedom, something we all take for granted. Below is a picture I took of it. Strange that I got it because the camera would not take any pictures of the hockey session or of the pirate ship activity...yet it took this picture....and then nothing else.
After a few hours at the Marbles museum, we ventured over to the Imax theatre. If you've ever been to one, you know how cool it is. If not...you're missing out. We saw a movie on a Coral Reef outside of Australia. At an Imax theatre, you wear 3-D glasses and the images come right up to your face. The underwater scenes were very realistic. You could see debris floating in the water. Fish and other thingies like sea snakes, jelly fish, sharks and sea lions came right up to your face. I didn't care for the snakes..they were eerie but I did fall in love with the Sea Dragons--they are similiar to sea horses. It was really cool. Jim Carrey narrated it.
4) On the way to Raleigh, we drove up I-40...Thomas lived right off that highway and when we passed the exit, I felt a sadness so sharp I thought I would lose my breath. But I didn't. It was too much for me though. But I didn't dwell on it because my sister is a horrible driver and I spent a lot of time holdin' my breath and praying. On the way back I had her drive the 401 by-pass...it's a little longer drive but my sanity was intact...plus to be honest, I couldn't take driving by Teez's exit. I think that's what set off one of the worst weekends I've had since he died. I was on the edge of tears most of the time...and Sunday I spent a lot of time wiping tears away. I felt his loss so strongly that I thought I would break into two pieces.
I'm better today. Don't know why...but I am. Maybe I'm learning to tolerate the loss.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
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