Picture I took of the small bath and a table

The table that broken fridge is one was once inside the house. Now it's ruined. Oh and the fridge is broken. Probably why that jerk left it.

The bath is an example of what I was left to clean up.
The brown/black things are dog poop. Somehow the dog got into the room Al uses as an office and pooped along the walls. I counted 40 pieces of poop in just that room alone. I am still amazed today at the mess this guy made in only 6 weeks.

Shame on Sherrie

Shame on me for letting time slip away. I have the usual excuses. The usual bullshit that we all give when we let time go by before we visit a good friend. This blog has always been here for me...to vent, to laugh, to cry and to write cheezy poetry.


Ever since Teez died I've been struggling for words to write. I come to this blog sometimes to write. I log on and stare into the white page of emptiness. Nothing comes to mind. So I leave and tell myself that another day will work. Next time, sometime anything will find its way down my fingers and over the key board.

But nothing.

I discontinued the internet service at work. The only time I get online now is in the mornings or at night...to go Facebooking. I lose myself in the games there. Disco Empire where disco rules and rap drools. To my fairy town, where I build lovely fairy houses so they can breed and make more fairies.... my zoo world where I breed and feed. Of all my friends, the ones I interact with are my game friends.

A sad way to be I think... but I confess. It's my retreat away from things.

This has been a most difficult year. Ever since April, we've been discussing closing the studio. But each time we set a date, we get busy. I take that to mean we should stay open until we set a date and are able to meet it. I figure by Jan, we'll be able to do that. What next? Work from home and see where it goes I guess.

Allen and I are still together. He was in Kuwait working from June 3 until Oct. 30. Supply clerk at Camp Arifjan. He loved it but got screwed out of his contract by a stupid ass who was suppose to cut 96 jerk offs and rotten apples from the company. Instead he just pulled up the first spread list of employees and axed 96 of them. Al included. He's back home now. Depressed and drinking. I am at my wit's end at times.

While he was gone, I thought that I would be able to really invest some time into myself. Write, edit one of my novels, visit friends and Teez's grave. But no... I didn't get to do any.

Al let a 'friend' of his stay in his house rent-free in exchange for keeping Slick-the cat and doing home improvements that Al would fund when he saved up money. The guy turned out to be the worse jerk I've ever known...after a few days he lost the cat. (He brought in pit bulls and I think that's why she got out) This jerk gave me hell. I've never in my life met anyone who considered me, Al's right hand and girl that he adores with all his heart...a third party. That's what the guy called me. When I would relay messages from Al, he would ignore them, saying he needed to talk to him and not a third party. The guy refused to help me find the cat. If I put out food in spots I thought she might hide, he moved it. I set out a trap I borrowed, covered it with brush...he uncovered it and moved it. I once put a bowl of food in it...he took it out and put in a can of salmon. The large kind. Like a cat can eat out of that.

Finally after dealing with this ass for two months, he moves out. Leaving the house a total mess. Dog shit all over the floors, stuff missing like the towels, some furniture...dishes and bowls. He even took one of Al's shoes. Just one. Maybe he's got a third foot somewhere. He scratched up the hardwood floors. He broke some lamps. I cleaned that house from early Sept until mid Oct. It took that long to get the dog crap up. I've never seen the likes of filth that this guy left.

Naturally when Al got home he was pretty upset and still is. We never found the cat. We call for her all the time but I think she's either moved on to a faraway land or is dead.

While he was gone, I had to deal with his personal business. And at times that was tough because he went over there so fast, we didn't get me power of att. Next time, will be different.

What's weird is that dealing with that jerk has changed me in many ways. I have no tolerance for stupidity. I tell it like I see it. Before...I always hung back, trying to find words that would be gentle and kind and it I couldn't find them.. I would stay silent.

When Al came home, I felt a big pressure leave me. The time he spent there, we could only communicate through email and yahoo chat. We discussed things without arguing. We encouraged each other and I think surprised each other as well. Now that he's back, I feel a unity that is amazing. I don't have expectations anymore. I just take each moment we are together and enjoy that moment, even if it's not the best in the world. It's still a moment.

I found my muse again. I'm writing my 7th novel for NaNoWriMo.org. And it's flowing off my fingers. I am at 39,000 words as I write now. I know I'll finish this one ..that is if the creek don't rise. I've got a 4/3 record and I hope I make it a 5/3 this year.

Please forgive me for not writing, dear blog. Maybe now that I have words again. I'll be back sooner than you think.

Merry Christmas!

Even though I don't have time to sit and write, I am gonna do it anyway. Maybe after the New Year, I'll get back to writing. I know I've said it before but I can feel words developing in my mind and an urge to sit and write is stirring a little.

It's been a difficult year. May be 2010 will be brighter. I know some major changes will be made and have already started...

Granny is now in a nursing home that has a special Alzheimer's unit. The Friday after T-day, she got out of her house at 12:30 am and wasn't found until 8:30 am. Her core temp was 91 and she was in intensive care for a few days. Luckily she survived. It was cold but not below freezing all that night. The irony of it all was that she had ventured across the road over towards where some construction had been going on. She fell behind some heavy brush and couldn't get up. It's amazing she lived, especially since she was only wearing a thin nightie, no shoes or socks.

But luckily for us she is in good hands now and has no major damage done to her body due to the hyperthermia she sufferred. Mom was told that Granny has the vitals of a teenager. You know...God does take care of his own. Granny was a very religious lady all of her life and God won't forget that.

Sam's better and was working yesterday. I didn't have time to call and check on him. Nor have I had time to do anything fun with my chick friends. We may have dinner one night this week to share a drink and to laugh together one last time before the New Year.

My wish for all is to be happy and to embrace those around you whom you love. Life is so short and can change in a heartbeat.

Much Love and Happy Holidays.

Where did October get too?

Ya know...I think about writing but it doesn't get past the thought very often of late. I sneak in and read blogs when I can, which isn't very often of late.

So much seems to have happened since last fall that has changed me so much in many ways..at least with my online life. I spend more time with friends and family. When I do log on it's usually Facebook that I hit, hiding out doing the games and reading walls.

My words feel as if they aren't mine when I try to write, except the Children's Novel I'm doing for NaNoWriMo.org. But that's "Child Play."

My second Mother, Mary died on my birthday (Oct. 23). She had a heart attack. She went fast and with no pain. I feel as if another piece of me is gone. I could tell her anything and she would give me advise without preaching, treating me as an equal. On more than one occasion, she told me that I was the daughter she never had. Last night I had a dream that she called me. We spent a few minutes talking about some books I lent her (which are still at her house), and then I remembered she was dead. I said, "Mary, I was told that you died." She said, "Who told you that load of Shit?" I said, "Your son and his wife." Silence answered and I kept saying into the silence,"Mary are you there?" Then I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. It seemed so real.

A few weeks ago my Great Uncle Buddy died from old age. He spent the last few weeks of his life in a nursing home and was the happiest we've seen him in years. I miss his gruffness. And still look over at his house from my backyard, thinking he's there.

In October, we almost lost the business due to banking mistakes Dad made. But we managed to pull out of the crisis. I am not sure if I'll be here in March. I know I've said it before but Dad refuses to turn things over to me and I am tired of drifting along with him, stifled by the shell I've outgrown.

Sam's health is not good. He has kidney disease due to his diabetes and was doing home dialysis until he had a heart attack last week. It's pretty bad but I keep praying that he'll get thru this. I'm afraid for him, especially after knowing what Thomas went thru.

Sorry...didn't mean to make this post so melancholoy. Things aren't as bad as they could be.

On to brighter things... I'm selling Avon part-time. My Grandmother Leggett would be proud. She sold it for over 26 years. So far I am doing okay with it. I don't plan on making a career out of it, and the discounts I get make the perks worth it.

Al and I are doing fantastic. He's not Thomas. And I know that he will never be like Thomas, but he's doing better and making an effort to be loving and less demanding on my time. He's supportive and talks strongly of a future together. Yes, he drives me nuts but he's my Al and I love in because of the nuts.

The nephews are great. William is adjusting to private school. He's taller than I am. I'll have to remember to upload the Halloween pictues. Ben is struggling with 3rd grade. I really believe he would profit if he were held back a year. He's so immature for his age and is too bright a child to have poor grades.

I spoke with my friend Keith--the one who has Lou Gerigh's disease yesterday. He never complains and is always so uplifting. I shouldn't be sad about the things I can't change and embrace what I do have. Love, Health and the ability to do anything I want.

September

I thought I would have thoughts to blog but didn't...and so almost another month goes by without a post.

But I did manage to squeeze out a poem...it's about Thomas. Labor day weekend was the beginning of our private 'reunion.' As you can guess, I have been feeling a bit wistful and sad these last few weeks. Although I have gotten good at hiding it. Time may heal wounds but it doesn't lessen the memories. Thank God ours were good ones.


September Sees

September sees the flowing memories
of you in my mind's eye,
the frothy churning of desire
that once flooded the gates of our lives.

You were my rare shooting star
blinding me with exotic wonderment.
We were caught center stage,
blissfully ignorant of the world around us.

Every stolen moment, a treasure unearthed;
Every shared secret, a precious gift of gold.
Embraces were our rubies and diamonds
until the day the moon aligned with Venus.

There is no playground of the Gods
lurking on the fringe of tomorrow,
nor is there a bright yellow sun
shining on the promise of today.

All we have are crimson yesterdays,
so brilliant that they put the waning stars
out of their bittersweet misery,
while branding images into my mournful soul.

I actually feel like blogging!

A very urgent feeling overcame me just now... Blog! So I am. Although I have a gob of work to do.

Been fighting a respiratory bug. These things always start out as head congestion and end up in my chest--I'm running on 70%. I blame it on the Crepe Myrtles. It seems I get something every year when they bloom.

Things have been going ok. The nephews are back in school. So far William loves the Christian School. Ben has a good teachter this year--one of William's old ones. He will have to deal with EOGs this year.

He came up with a great excuse not to get into the shower on Friday night... he said, "But it smells like BUTT in there."

This coming Saturday will be fun. Michele is hosting another Murder Mystery party..this one is called "Trailer Trash Tragedy." I play the 'mother hen' of the trailer park-Fanny Mason. She snoops and gossips. Oh what fun. Don't think I mentioned the last one.. it was in July. It was called Murder in Margaritaville. Set in the 80's at a bar in the Keyes. We had so much fun. Michele has pictures and I'll try to get them this weekend. Al even participated. He placed a gambler "Otto Getmore" and I played the hippie/artist "Sunny Daze"--a nickname that I won't live down for a long time. When we got there, everyone was in character and that's how we introduced ourselves. After the mystery was over, we went around and re-introduced ourselves. If you've never done one of these and get the chance, I say do it.

We've got some major rain today. I hope all my readers are doing great. Stay safe.

Current pictures

I can speak Spanish: "Margarita"



Just me...



My Favorite one.

Body Parts

There are ten human body parts that are only three letters long: eye, hip, arm,
leg, ear, toe, jaw, rib, lip, gum.

Wonder why Ass isn't listed?

Hot time in the City

Boy has time flew by! I can't believe I let so many weeks, days, hours and minutes past without writing. I really thought that once the reunion was over I would have more time to write. Well, in ways I did have more time but in other ways I didn't. My work load for the last few months has been very strenuous. A good thing in this age of digital photography! I'm restoring a lot of photos and the good part of it is that most of the new clients are referrals. We've slacked off in portrait photo sessions and weddings but Dad's been doing a lot of commercial work. I guess it all works out so that we don't go under, like so many other professional photographers. I think we are one of about 3 with studios that are open during business hours.

Al and I are doing so much better since the intimacy returned. I really believe that's one of the reasons couples don't make it...without intimacy there is no emotional bonding and that's an important key to happiness. Sure, Al and I still have problems but they are easier to work through knowing that we are on the same path again. I think I have Thomas to thank for that... I don't take Al for granted any more and I think he does the same with me. We express affection and tell each other that we appreciate what the other does and is!

Yes, I miss Thomas. So very much. I really don't think I will ever come across another person who has those wonderful qualities that he had. He came back into my life on Labor Day weekend and I know that this fall will be hard for me... I'll feel sad a lot but I'm hopeful that the good memories I have will help me through this. I can still see him standing on his porch, leaning over the rail of his deck as I opened my truck door and said "Talk to you in a little while." And his reply, "I can only hope."

As did I!

The nephews are doing great. William is attending a private Christian school. It will be tight for my sister but it's the best for him. There was no way he could have dealt with the middle school and it's mix of personalities, especially the 'gangs.' So far William is doing great. He's matured a lot this summer and is taller than I am. I will have to find some photos and post them. Ben will start school next week and is spending the day with me at work. He's on the old PC as I type, playing a baseball game and give me momently reports. He'll be in the 3rd grade..a tough one with the first EOG testing. We've been concerned with his weight...he's dropped from 63 lbs to 57 lbs. We think it has to do with Concerta...the ADHD drug he's taking. He told me this morning that he's never hungry.

We had some fun adventures this summer. I took them with me on a trip to Ocean Isle Beach NC to see my old roomie, Jeri. They had a blast in the ocean and then in the pool. William was a social butterfly. He had me speechless a few times with his comments to Jeri and others. He struck up conversations and made all of us laugh. When the boys were in the pool, there were a few other kids in there with them. They had a water gun fight and then tossed a ball to each other. The ball sank to the bottom once and William said to a boy, "Hey Kid, can you get that ball for me? I can't breathe under water like you can!" Jeri and I laughed our butts off.

Saw the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It reminded me of the third installment... there were things they could have kept out..like the fight in the 'swamp' which didn't take place in the book and added the huge battle at the end of the book. But I must confess that I liked the way they dealt with Dumbledore's death. I hope that they do justice to the last book with film...it will be interesting to see what they take out and what they add.

The one movie I saw that I thought rocked was the Star Trek movie. What a genius writer... the plot was excellent and ...now they can make new movies without worrying about the past ones. I really like the guy who played McKoy! He nailed his personality. I truly hope that there will be more movies.

Also saw "Mama Mia!" this week on HBO On-demand. It was really cute. The music rocked. I love ABBA...and I probably will grab the DVD once the price goes down...or when it appears in those $5 DVD bins at Walmart. HAHA.

Granny is hanging in there. She's in diapers now because she forgets to use the bathroom. She can't carry on a conversation...but I noticed that at times she can follow a conversation if there isn't a lot of people participating. She doesn't say mine or Mom's name but we believe she knows who we are. Please keep her in your prayers.

Still in touch with some of my classmates. Not all have kept up their part of the 'deal' but I find time to call them even if they promise to call me or 'get-together soon.' Sherry Aka Shook-em and I plan to attend a concert at UNC-P...Davy Jones (and a million women my age or older scream!)

Writing...I believe this is the most I've written in ages. I think I am slowly returning to it..once I get bored with the apps on Facebook...lol.. I do love those games.

But... I confess ...it is good to write. I am amazed with how fast words are flying off the keyboard and forming sentences. Now..if only I can find my poetry voice. Maybe I should start with "Sher-ku."

A few words
sentences flowing...
dust off muse